Why?! why can't he cook a simple meal for once?

[PavlovtheCat]

Why does he have to spend over a bloody hour cooking all the time?! He is cooking risotto, he does not have to fucking kill the chicken first. The kids are getting angsty, they are hungry. I am hungry. I need to take my meds and I can't til I have eaten. He has taken so long the local pharmacy is shut and I can't get more meds this evening.

He takes this long over everything he cooks. He can't do pasta and pesto, he has to fry up onions, add this and that, herbs and somesuch, poke about it with it.

When he makes a sandwich he does not do a cheese sandwich, he does a toasted sandwich with fancy pickles, sliced onions and tomatoes, herbs, with a side salad.

When he does breakfast he does not do toast. Or cereal. He does poached or boiled eggs, or banana pancakes.

FFS.

AIBU to just want to fucking eat at a reasonable hour?! just some nice simple food?

And before you tell me to do it myself, I can't. My back has gone and I am layed up. else I would.

I feel your pain. My dp is a chef, and a good one at that, but every meal is a sodding production! Every pan, plate and utensil has to be used, every surface in the kitchen covered, hours and hours go by as I slowly fade away in hunger. Then finally, I am presented with a meal I could have knocked up in half an hour.

Obviously I umm and ahh in the right places though, he does make good food.. eventually

Wow, do you want to swap husbands? Mine only does hot dogs, eggs or beans, or a combination of the three. He is also good at toast.

Last week he cooked, and he made tomato sauce by heating up a tin of chopped toms, and adding salt and oregano.

With pasta.

You would like that, no faffing with onions!

Swap swap swap

Buy him Jamie's 30 minutes dinners or print out these: www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/recipes/favourites/five-ingredients-or-less/

Chandon that would be delicious if he fried some garlic before adding the tomatoes, added pepper as well as salt & grated some cheese on the dish at the end.

dp has made chucking a curry together into a very looooong art form

but curry is his passion

I can see where you are coming from but you should be greatful that he takes an interest in cooking lovely meals for the family. Some guys would not know where to start or have the inclination

Same here. DH has been known to take more than an hour to cook one of those stir fry packs. And then after he's served up mine, he then spends another 10 minutes serving up his. I have watched him do it and still have no idea how he does it.

oh whilst we're at it can I whinge about the way he cooks things almost one at time so three things that take 200 mins each and could be cooked together take almost an hour and he tries to keep the first things warm

aasaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh

20 mins not 200...

Mine barely manages spaghetti hoops.

I asked him to do something fun like rice crispy cakes with the children one day. He googled the recipe A recipe? For crispy cakes! It's chocolate covered cereal fgs. He reckoned he needed to now how to melt the chocolate?

Other times he tries cooking he asks me stoopid questions and then gets annoyed when I tell him I don't know what he is asking. Things like "how do you peel carrots?" - Um, with a knife? I don't know what you mean. Or "How do you boil potatos?"

What does he want me to answer these questions with? Please tell me.

Well my dp can make bacon sandwiches or gammon egg and chips and that is IT, so.... You are all being a shower of bitches (LOVE that expression!)

anon suggest he introduce a starter we would not have dinner before midnight if I did that!

evasmum DH is a chef. says it all I guess.

Food was lovely, I am an ungrateful cow I know I am. But I am slightly less grumpy now

And yes he uses most of the pans in the kitchen.

bigred that is DH. I had to ask him several times to sit down. I had eaten half mine before he sat down! I know I should have waited but that would have meant cold food and waiting even longer to eat. He got the salt, and then the pepper, then he got some water for us all. Then half way through he had to drain the pasta he had put on for DS in case he did not eat the risotto (which he did, surprisingly).

I suspect I know why he took so long. He had his audio book on the ipad. He was escaping me and the children for some quiet time...

YANBU

I recognise myself in your description

DH is mostly quite patient but sometimes is about the time spent and the dishes dirtied every time I do my share of cooking.

YANBU, however this is me in our house. We do pretty much 50/50 of the cooking and admittedly not everything is gourmet style meal, but I can just never seem to time things right it seems to be always 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late (or longer).

"A recipe? For crispy cakes! It's chocolate covered cereal fgs. He reckoned he needed to now how to melt the chocolate?"

they are nicer if you add golden syrup and butter. It makes them stickier.

Also, there is a bit of an art to melting chocolate.

OMG, I think I am a man.

OP, my DH is just the same, you have my sympathy! He always thinks about what he wants to cook, rather than a) what the DCs will eat and b) my health-dictated allowed foods.

Yesterday's "plain-chicken-salad-no-dressing" came with asparagus (good), beet root (ok) and sun-dried fucking tomatoes (boak). In the 10+ years we've been married, I have ever never eaten a sun-dried tomato. And these were soaked in oil, the one thing I am supposed to be avoiding (on doctor's orders). The salad was topped off with lashings of very oily pancetta.

Chicken. Salad. The clue is in the name.

And breeeeathe!

Seriously? Over an hour to cook a risotto?

He's not very good, is he?

YANBU (although I'm a little envious that you have a man who likes to cook from scratch). Weird that he takes so long as I thought chefs were very speedy

wine maybe that is why, thinking about it, at work he has to work fast, and slows down at home as he has no pressure to do it to order, to a set time at home, not churning stuff out, but has time to think and consider and fucking experiment And he dirties all the pans as he does not have to wash them up at work i should think.

scrambled i know that was what I said. I mean, it was absolutely delicious, don't get me wrong. And I could not do it, even with all the time in the world, not like he does. But nevertheless. He insists he was no in the kitchen that long.

Yabu. If this was the other way around everyone would be saying 'tell him to cook his own fucking dinner'

Leave the bastard then he can come cook for me cuz nobody else ever does!

Have a rule that whoever cooks also has to wash up.

I just can't help knowing thinking that if a man came here and started a thread moaning about his DW taking ages to cook his dinner, the thread would be littered with posts saying, "So cook it yourself you ungrateful Bastard!"

Glad you enjoyed it eventually though

This is how I cook, and if my Dh was ungrateful about it, I let him cook for himself!

I like my food to be tasty and filling, you can keep your bland crap.