to swear at the Tax Credits advisor?

[MountEtna]

Feel a bit bad now - god knows why!

H and I split in July. We had a joint claim as he does not earn much and I am self employed. I was told I had to make a new single claim and they would immediately stop the joint one (fair enough) but it would take 2 weeks for me to get a claim form (can't do it on the phone) and then it would take a further 3 weeks to process. So OK I will be left for 5 weeks with no income as I cannot work if I can't pay the childcare for 3 DCs . H's maintenance is paying the essential bills like food and that's all really.

Rang today as I am 4 weeks down the line, to be told that the advisor is referring my claim to a specialist team as she needs more information. 'What information?' says I. 'I don't know' says she. 'So if you don't know what further information you need, why are you referring it to a specialist team?'. 'Can't answer that' says she. She also says it will take a further 4 weeks from today as it is going to this team.

By this time I have steam coming out of my ears so ask to speak to a manager as she is talking in riddles. After another 10 minute wait in addition to the 20 mins I waited to get through. The manager informs me that the cannot match my children up . The same children that were on my joint claim and have been claiming for years for. I say to him can you not just look at my joint claim and you will see that they were all on there. 'Hmm' says he 'it's not that easy'.

He appreciates my situation he says. Lone parent, no income, no money 8 weeks for childcare so cannot work to get some. I say 'you appreciate my situation, you don't give a flying FUCK' and slam the phone down.

What a bloody great system. Getting the money to those who need it!

AIBU to feel a bit stressed and a bit bad for being rude?

Do you actually think that swearing at the call centre operater will get your claim sorted out any quicker? YWBU, rude and incredibly immature.

you do realise that all these calls are monitored and recorded and they may use your swearing at them against you?? its certainly NOT going to speed things up for you - at my work if someone swears at me I actively refuse to serve them and either walk off or get them removed I am not paid to be sworn at and neither are the staff at the end of the phone you ABVVU to swear at this person

Judging by your posts on this thread I'm guessing you weren't exactly sweetness and light for the rest of the conversation either. Yes it is frustrating and yes you are desperate - but there is never ever an excuse for being abusive. I would not tolerate your behaviour to me or my staff. The person you spoke too did not design that system nor put your information on it. He was trying to help you and convey to you that he had heard what you said about having no money. What he cannot do is whip out his wallet and give you the cash.
You should ring back and apologise. That would mean a lot.

I don't think it's fair to swear at people, but I've been frustrated enough to do it when I've reached boiling point!

You sound like you're trapped in an impossible situation. Have you had a proper benefit check done to see what you are entitled to? There nay be other things you can claim to take the strain off, especially if you aren't currently working. Maintenance payments are not counted as income for things like income support so you may be able to get extra help. If you're struggling, can you get a crisis loan? Or if you just need to diet childcare to get back to work, can you explain things to your provider, see if they can give you leeway in fees until your claim is sorted and backdated?

YWBVU. Yes it is frustrating but it's people who are as rude as you were who make my DM's work day hell... she is constrained by the computer system and anyone who 'bends' the rules and gets found out (for example, when someone calls back, gets a different advisor and the advisor sees that something irregular has been put through) she could be disciplined and, ultimately, sacked.

Just take a deep breath. You have no idea what goes on in the life of the person you've spoken to - do you really think they would choose to take calls from irate people day in, day out, if they could find alternative employment?

I know you ate frustrated and worried, but swearing at other people is not going to solve anything.

cleo what was the reason for the fine?
OP you are completely unreasonable, defensive and irrate.
If you came across on the phone how you have now, I wouldn't expect anything to be fast tracked.
We waiting almost 6 months once. At no point did I or dh shout, swear or have a go at the staff.

OP if you want your claim seen to quickly, send a (polite) complaint to your MP clearly explaining the hardship you are in. They have a special hotline (really) to the Tax Credits Office. My problem with them was sorted with miraculous speed once my MP got involved. No more sweary Marys though!

I work in a call centre.

A few weeks ago I swore at the TC people in frustration.

It's easily done. No one is immune to a second of intense frustration when they're worried sick about money. I'm on the receiving end of it all the time. I don't take it personally.

I bet you anything that half the saints on this thread have got huffy, or sweary, or rude, or dramatic, or burst into tears, or shouted, or made some unnecessary pointless comment about how they're deliberately not being helped just for a laugh while talking to a call centre.

The numbers don't add up!

I am always polite to the person on the phone, even after a month trying to chase a payment and having alot of phone calls and feeling like a parrot. The person on the other side of the phone are just doing there jobs with the systems they have been trained on.

I think you were quite restrained to be honest, this sort of "computer says no" non explanation is typical of all government departments and drives many of us insane. Perhaps if we all swore then the system may get the review it needs. No YWNBU under the circumstances.

And there does seem to be an awful lot of 'thick as mince' people working in these call centres who either can't or won't do their jobs properly in the first place!

Jade - you can express your frustration at a situation without personally attacking the person you are talking to, or by effing and blinding.

Ever heard the saying "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" ? Sometimes the person can't do a thing no matter what. But sometimes they can help you, push things for you - but you have to get them on side first. Alienating someone by swearing or being hostile doesn't get you the best outcome. And that's what matters. The best outcome for you. You get that by treating them like a human being, getting them on side, sharing a small laugh with them, making them feel like they are the important person who can save you.

You'd be amazed how many times something that is simply not possible has become possible for me through the above.

Again, hecate, you're suggesting that these people are not the bearers of bad news but just not trying hard enough to help. It's the same thing whether you think you'll sweet talk or shout them out of it.

It's just people shooting the messenger, that's all.

good OP i am glad your claim is being delayed. if i was you i would expect it to be delayed even more now you have been rude and sworn at them!

i work in a custoemr facing job and i get sworn at and threatened. it is not on and can affect people quite a bit. i was off earlier this year because of the stress it caused me.

how dare you swear at someone just doing their job! would you swear at the cashier in tesco? no i doubt it.

i had a customer a few days ago who had been extremely rude to me, swearing and shouting a few weeks ago. he then wanted my help. i could have done something which we are not really suppose to do to help him, but because he was so nasty i didnt!

People getting arsey makes
Me Less inclined to help, or at least less inclined to go the extra mile.

ESP as I got shouted at and screamed at while pregnant (nothing I had done - the customer had done something wrong), had a panic attack the next day and got signed off with anxiety

Is that what you think I said? Even when I made a point of saying " Sometimes the person can't do a thing no matter what."

Sometimes someone who doesn't have the authority to change something themselves can decide whether to pass a message, or ask a question or something.

Are they more likely to do that if they've been sworn at or spoken to nicely?

If I have had an abusive person on the phone I also always put a note on their file 'customer extrememly upset and irate.' not just to tell on them but for te benefit if there are any complaints made and also if try call back to warn fellow advisors that they have the potential to be abusive.

It helps no one at all
(this thread has upset me as I'm due back off may leave soon)

Kayano - aww dont be upset love! unfortunatly there are just some idiots who like to shout and swear at people just trying to do their job.

i too make a note of the nasty people so that others are aware!

Can't do a thing and deciding to pass a message or ask a question or something isn't the same thing.

If they can help, they should without any pleasant incentive.

I understand what you're saying but I really don't say no I can't help unless it is the truth. People deal with it in all sorts of different ways. But we can all overreact given the right circumstances.

I've done my time in call centres and taken dogs abuse thanks to the bank's policies.

I've also lost it and swore at the same bank.

It's the lack of ownership and consistency that makes people mad. We didn't have the capacity to take ownership of complaints, you were trained to deal what was in front of you and finish everythin off in one call. We couldn't even call customers back.

So it was understandable that people got pissed off when they had to explain everything every time they called.

Mrskeith when you say you swore at the bank, do you mean you stood in the street and swore at a building or at a person on the phone.
Because swearing at a person, is not the same and should not be tolerated.

I think deep down you know you were being unreasonable. Everyone should be able to do their job (yes even traffic wardens !) without being sworn at. Whilst not sharing your exact same circumstances I have had lots of dealings with the TC, found them utter shite to deal with, but have saved my abuse and swearing for when I come off the phone. Then I can call them all the silly bastard/c*nts/fuckers (delete as appropriate) that I like. And no one is verbally abused.

Having also worked in a call centre, if someone spoke to me like this their query definitely went to the bottom of the pile or was "overlooked" for another week or two. One of the best days I had was when I had handed in my notice, got a cheeky bastard on the phone and then sat there rustling my kit kat wrapper pretending it was a bad line and I couldn't hear him. Not great customer service but I was fed up taking cheek from pricks like him.

You lost the rag, it's easily done. Hope your situation improves soon x

I swore at the person on the phone who, when dealing with calls, at that moment in time is the bank.

I'm not proud, it's not right but it happens.