to swear at the Tax Credits advisor?

[MountEtna]

Feel a bit bad now - god knows why!

H and I split in July. We had a joint claim as he does not earn much and I am self employed. I was told I had to make a new single claim and they would immediately stop the joint one (fair enough) but it would take 2 weeks for me to get a claim form (can't do it on the phone) and then it would take a further 3 weeks to process. So OK I will be left for 5 weeks with no income as I cannot work if I can't pay the childcare for 3 DCs . H's maintenance is paying the essential bills like food and that's all really.

Rang today as I am 4 weeks down the line, to be told that the advisor is referring my claim to a specialist team as she needs more information. 'What information?' says I. 'I don't know' says she. 'So if you don't know what further information you need, why are you referring it to a specialist team?'. 'Can't answer that' says she. She also says it will take a further 4 weeks from today as it is going to this team.

By this time I have steam coming out of my ears so ask to speak to a manager as she is talking in riddles. After another 10 minute wait in addition to the 20 mins I waited to get through. The manager informs me that the cannot match my children up . The same children that were on my joint claim and have been claiming for years for. I say to him can you not just look at my joint claim and you will see that they were all on there. 'Hmm' says he 'it's not that easy'.

He appreciates my situation he says. Lone parent, no income, no money 8 weeks for childcare so cannot work to get some. I say 'you appreciate my situation, you don't give a flying FUCK' and slam the phone down.

What a bloody great system. Getting the money to those who need it!

AIBU to feel a bit stressed and a bit bad for being rude?

god I can totally understand your frustration op and desperation too!!
I think being under pressure with children and no money is enough of a catalyst for feeling frustrated/angry.
perhaps swearing wasn't the best way to handle it but I can see why you did.
I hope you sort something soon.

What did you want the person you were speaking to to do? Do you think they had the authority to change things?

It is bloody frustrating and there's nothing wrong with saying so! I am forever saying things like "I realise this is not your fault but this situation..." or "I know this is out of your control but this situation..." or "I know you don't make the rules but this situation..."

But to swear at the person was out of order. To suggest that they actually didn't care because they don't have the authority to change or cancel this request for more info and just 'sort it out' is wrong.

That person will have logged on to view your details and that will be the extent of their power. They haven't done anything to you and don't deserve to be sworn at.

You can rant and rave about a situation and even get them on side! if you start from knowing that they as an individual have done nothing to you.

You don't get fined for saying you don't want tax credits. Please don't tell only the half of the story you want people to hear, or blatantly lie, whichever you're doing.And sympathies if you're depressed and self harming, but that is NOT the fault of the people you speak to.

When I've worked in customer service roles and someone is really rude to me, well shall we say that their query doesn't get priority.

'you sort out your claim and no one else' sorry but what does that mean?

He did actually sound like he did'nt give a flying fuck. I cannot understand how they can get away without paying for so long. My circumstances (financial) have changed for the worse (for now) so I do not get how they think it's OK not to pay anything at all, let alone just a nominal amount that I would have got if H was here anyway.

Actually I don't think IWBU on further refelection. No one is forced to work there FGS and it is pretty obvious that people will be pissed off with a system like this.

To be fair to the OP the manager did sound incredibly patronising. That would have wound me up too.

I saw the fining letter! Or did my Mum fake it? I'm not telling half a story. This was 3-4 years ago so perhaps they don't anymore. Who the frig knows?

Why the hell post on here if you think you weren't being unreasonable

'No one is forced to work there'

So the ones that do work there should put up with being verbally abused? Being insulted and sworn on a daily basis was a big part of why I ended up on ad's and eventually left a job I was very good at.

Nobody is 'forced' to work anywhere. Should we go about screeching at everybody when we feel like it then?

You were btw, for swearing. Don't knock the hand that feeds you.

Cleo that's just not, and never has been, true. It just would not/could not happen.

Cleo there has never been a tax credit 'fine' for not claiming. If they were saying she owed them money, then she had an overpayment which is completely different

Err, I did not tell him to Fuck off. Are you not able to read?

Don't knock the hand that feeds you. Nice.

So people should be prepared to tolerate being abused at work and if they don't like it they can quit and er, presumably claim benefits too? Brilliant. Makes me proud to be British.

How about if you want people to help you you control your potty mouth?

Mount Etna,do you think you were unreasonable? Do you think you could have handled it better? Everyone understands the frustration. Write it off, ring and apologize and start again. You are no further forward and you need to be sorting this out.

no one is forced to work there

Yeah, there are loads of jobs out there, they should just leave if they don't like being sworn at

Normally I would say you were very unreasonable to swear at the staff (having worked on a helpline - not TC thank goodness).

However having been a victim to TC shitty unworkable system where they are totally not capable of normal standard business practice and one department cannot manage to communicate with another I can fully appreciate your frustration.

There is a difference between deciding you will phone someone up and be abusive to emotions letting rip.

Tbh - they probably get it all day long. I used to work on a help line for insurance and got abuse all day every day, its water off a ducks back in the end unless its someone really horrendous - then its worth a laugh - it how we coped with it. I imagine anyone working on the TC helpline gets alot worse that what you said hourly if not more.

Your still DH should man up and not leave the family he created destitute. It's him you should be swearing at down the phone.

My sister-in-law works there. For her it's the best job she's ever likely to have. Every day she's in tears, it's not like she's diverting your cash to her Swiss bank account.

Bzbbn

Ç

YWBU. YstillABU.
Hth.