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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to get himself up in the morning?

68 replies

LaTristesse · 17/09/2012 15:54

I'm up at 6.30 with the children usually and my morning consists of the usual washing, dressing, breakfast (feeding as mine are still tiny), cleaning etc. DH is supposed to get up at 7.30 for work. He's crap I. The mornings (crabby moods, noncommunicative that sort of thing) as well as being a deep sleeper. He expects me to wake him up and get him out of bed every morning (which isn't just calling up the stairs, it's running up several times, shaking him until he stirs then bellowing until he gets up). Not only is it no fun it also takes too long when I gave all the other stuff to deal with. Aibu to expect g

OP posts:
Original poster
LaTristesse · 17/09/2012 15:55

...him to set an alarm click and get himself up? He's 43.

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 17/09/2012 16:04

YANBU. Of course he should be getting himself up. He's an adult not a child, and should not be relying on you. If he were my DP I'd be using one of those hooters. That'd wake him up all right.

Why doesn't he help with the children? He's their parent too.

Socknickingpixie · 17/09/2012 16:05

hand him an alarm clock and leave him to it. hes not a child and should stop acting like one yanbu

rubyslippers · 17/09/2012 16:06

I would leave him

What if you didn't get up? Sounds like the whole household would grind to a halt

ChaoticismyLife · 17/09/2012 16:07

YANBU I stopped getting my dc up from about yr9. Your DH isn't a child, he can get himself up.

Veryfrustratedandfedup · 17/09/2012 16:07

He sounds like an arse

bigkidsdidit · 17/09/2012 16:07

Blimey YANBU

Just don't do it. He'll have to get the hang of it then

pictish · 17/09/2012 16:09

Of course yanbu!

I used to have a dp that got arsey with me if he slept in.

"Why sisn't you wake me??!!"

Because you're not 10, and I'm not your bloody mother!

RollerCola · 17/09/2012 16:10

Have you ever not woken him up? What was his reaction?

N0tinmylife · 17/09/2012 16:10

YADNBU! I am the one in my house who is crap at getting up. I would never dream of making it DH's responsibility, that is ridiculous. He should be getting himself up, and helping you with the children. Why does he get to stay in bed an extra hour?

FireOverBabylon · 17/09/2012 16:11

Tell him to naff off and get himself up in a morning. If he moans, just say that you were in the garden with the kids and didn't hear his alarm go off. Maybe it's time to take the children for a regular burst of walking / outdoor activity every morning, just before daddy's alarm goes off. He should be up with you, helping to feed little mouths and wipe them afterwards, not rotting in his pit.

Man-child.

Numberlock · 17/09/2012 16:11

The mornings (crabby moods, noncommunicative that sort of thing) as well as being a deep sleeper. He expects me to wake him up and get him out of bed every morning (which isn't just calling up the stairs, it's running up several times, shaking him until he stirs then bellowing until he gets up

My teenage sons are more capable of getting themselves up than this.

I hope you're really not questioning that this is unreasonable behaviour? And I hope he does his share of the chores at the other end of the day while you put your feet up....

katykuns · 17/09/2012 16:12

I would find that incredibly annoying.

My partner and I slept very deeply and would turn the alarm off whilst we were still asleep and then were late for things. We conquered it by putting the alarm clock across the other side of the room, so we had to get out of bed to turn it off. Try that perhaps?

ShellyBobbs · 17/09/2012 16:13

After being shouted from the bottom of the stairs this morning, my 10 year old son said he was so tired, he had to shine a torch in his eyes to make him open them lol Grin

Your hubby is a grumpy twat, I'd phone his work up, book him 3 days holiday and just leave him in bed the lazy fecker!

PeazlyPops · 17/09/2012 16:15

YABU.

Some people just aren't morning people.

blisterpack · 17/09/2012 16:16

Leave him to it. Let him go to work late a few times and see how well that goes down.

shewhowines · 17/09/2012 16:17

Warn him that from now on you won't be waking him at all. Tell him he's lucky that he's not getting up earlier with you if he moans.
Stick to it and let him suffer the consequences if he doesn't get up. He'll soon learn.

blisterpack · 17/09/2012 16:17

What PeazlyPops, does that mean the OP is to fix it for him?

greenhill · 17/09/2012 16:20

Did he move straight from his mum doing this for him, to you waking him up? Has he ever been independent? How old is he? How did he manage when you were in hospital giving birth / overnight stay? Is he on any medication that makes him such a deep sleeper?

If he was able to get himself out of the bed at any time in the recent past, he should be able to get into the habit again. He may need a very noisy alarm at the other end of the room though.

You sound far too busy with the DC to have to do all this silly running up and down the stairs too!

Evasmum12 · 17/09/2012 16:22

That is ridiculous, he is not a child! Stop waking him up. Tell him to set his alarm(s), on full volume, and leave it on the other side of the room.

YABU to repeatedly try and get your DH out of bed yourself.

ChaoticismyLife · 17/09/2012 16:23

Why is the OP U PeazlyPops?

I'm not a morning person either but it sure as hell isn't anyone's responsibility, but mine, to make sure I get up in the morning.

Evasmum12 · 17/09/2012 16:24

Greenhill, I was thinking the same thing about moving from his mother to the OP.

Fedupnagging · 17/09/2012 16:24

Crickey, he's a grown man, not a child. What an example to set your own children.

Get him an alarm clock and leave him to it.

Your dh obviously gets a lie in on the days he works- does that mean you get a lie in onthe days he doesn't?

greenhill · 17/09/2012 16:25

Sorry just saw that he is 43. I'm still boggling though, how has he managed before you got married?

NervousAt20 · 17/09/2012 16:25

YANBU make him set an alarm and warn him that tomorrow no matter why you will no be waking him up and if he doesn't get up then tough that's his problem as you have your bass full already

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