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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband said hello to the man who kicked our dog....

117 replies

coansha · 16/09/2012 16:58

The background info:
Whist on a quiet, solo walk some months ago with my 2 large and very friendly dogs, the largest runs off to sniff and say hello to a man and hs dog approaching...
Well to keep it short he kicked my dog, as it sniffed his, berated me for not having it on a lead. Blah, blah, I went completely apeshit, I'm in my 40's but 5"10 and size 16 and Ive also done kick boxing for several years, I was that close to decking him but went ballistic, called him everything under the sun and more , he's a miserable old git anyway( say early 60's and has had a go at afew female dig walkers for same incidents) , husband was angry when told, said ed throttle him, some weeks later I pointed him out driving by and he confessed he'd let on to him that day.

So weve Been away for weekend with family, after a quick cuppa and laundry mission, head out for a walk with dogs and the husband.
As we round the corner of quiet country lane" the dog kicker " and his pampered neurotic dog approach, the husband knows who he is, after " the dog kicking incident" I pointed him out , fuck me whilst I stand there, not saying anything as I ignore the idiot, HE FUCKING SAYS GOOD DAY!!!
I'm a being stupid or should I pull the knife out of my back before he twists it?
I could throttle him, he knew who it was, he has made me look stupid and I cannot believe it.
The idiot to be fair, put his head own, it was the idiot I married who went all out to be pally.
I'm livid, it's the principle, he says I'm mental and need help. I don't want to even look at him, I've lost my respect for him, I know it's a small matter, I don't expect them to exchange cards and arrange a duel but he shouldnt have done it with me with him.

OP posts:
bbface · 16/09/2012 20:56

This reply has been deleted

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apostropheuse · 16/09/2012 21:02

Oh dear a deranged OP - I hope the poor hubby sleeps with one eye open

SoleSource · 16/09/2012 21:05

OP is me on a good day :)

CookingFunt · 16/09/2012 21:09

You sound like a yob.

Fakebook · 16/09/2012 21:11

I'm in my 40's but 5"10 and size 16 and Ive also done kick boxing for several years, I was that close to decking him but went ballistic, called him everything under the sun and more , he's a miserable old git anyway( say early 60's

And we wonder why the youth of today are a troubled and angry bunch. Hmm.

Claireabella1 · 16/09/2012 21:15

Your husband says you're mental and in need of help? I'd agree, get over it.

qazxc · 16/09/2012 22:03

YABU
for not having your large dog under control
for then getting verbally aggressive
for expecting your husband to join in your vendetta

grow up and put it behind you.

BadLad · 17/09/2012 13:07

I would never kick a dog and I would be extremely angry if some kicked a dog.

I was very badly bitten by a dog when I was young. I have been terrified of having any dog other than the tiniest variety anywhere near me ever since.

I don't want to be cruel to dogs, or any animals, so I don't want to kick them. Therefore I don't go to places where dogs are likely to be off the lead, and if I see someone in the distance, say, throwing a ball for their dog, I will give them the widest birth I can find. Similarly, if I visit anyone who has a dog, I let them know beforehand that I won't go in their house unless their dog is secured at the very least, and preferably kept in another room while I'm there. Some people don't want to do that, which is fine - I socialize with them somewhere other than their house.

If some idiot let their dog, especially a big one, run up to me to "say hello", I would not only kick it but probably hit it as hard as I could with whatever I could lay my hands on. And no matter how "extremely angry" the owner was, I would be far more angry with them for not keeping their animal under control.

fait · 17/09/2012 13:11

Oh dear. If your dog is anything like you, then I am not surprised the man kicked your dog away. You sound totally deranged.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 17/09/2012 13:19

Did he actually kick your dog or just shoo it away with his foot...there is a difference!!

You sound totally deranged anyway..shouting and swearing, how charming!! Bereavement is no excuse to act like a yob...I lost my mum to cancer but I didnt go round threatening and swearing at folk!

BonnyDay · 17/09/2012 13:20

OP you sound rough as fuck

get a lead

Slumberparty · 17/09/2012 14:13

YABU - when my dog was a pup he was off the lead and ran up to a Doberman on a lead - the doberman bit him quite badly right on the muzzle. I felt awful as it was all my fault because my dog was the one who wasn't under control.
As my dog got older he was never very good with other dogs on a walk (and untrustworthy with people too) so he was ALWAYS on a lead. I would get very annoyed with other people allowing their dogs to run up to mine while I'm struugling to keep them away (for their own safety mind).

However YANBU for being annoyed at your DH for saying hello to him - although I can see why he did. As this is someone you bump into on a regular basis he was probably trying to keep the peace.

VonHerrBurton · 17/09/2012 14:15

I second that, Bonny. Bit scared of OP myself, actually...

Fwiw, a few weeks ago during summer hols, a few friends and I with multiple dc, were enjoying a picnic on a huge field that is accessible directly from a gate in my friend's garden. A huge dog, maybe a labradoodle type, came bounding over, it's owner laughing and calling 'it's Ok, he's lovely and friendly, just wants to play' It helped itself to some picnic, stood on a baby, then proceeded to run into my friend's house, up the stairs, onto the bed - it was absolute bedlam.

The owner, who still thought it was hilarious, realised my friend was screaming at the dog to get out, and started calling dog's name, over and over. Ignored. It eventually left, leaving mud and slobber all over the place. Nice.

He thinks my friend is some sort of dog hating moron and tuts and shakes his head everytime we see him in the neighbourhood. Keep the fucking dog on a lead around people/other dogs, and grow up - avoiding confrontation is normally the best way.

Ullena · 17/09/2012 14:42

I walk my dogs in the country park off lead but I call them to heel any time we see other people or animals. If there is a dog on lead then mine go on leads until it is gone. Same with people with children, dogs are made to sit quietly. They are allowed to greet politely if the other person agrees to it.

OP, from what you have told us YABU and are also giving us all a bad name as dog owners. Thanks a bunch. Please try to get over the incident and move on.

JayEee · 17/09/2012 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WithoutCaution · 17/09/2012 15:44

... I've kicked someones dog before. They had absolutely no control over it and it attacked my dog (he was a puppy at the time) - A proper attack not just a lot of vocalising - Massive gash on my boys neck Angry The owners weren't impressed even less so when I gave them my vets bill but if you let your dog approach others with no thought to how they feel about it then whether you like it or not they can find a way to get your dog away from them.

Recall is very important if you let your dog off the lead...

Pandemoniaa · 17/09/2012 15:45

I wouldn't be thrilled if anyone kicked my dog either. But I think I'd feel embarrassed at my lack of control over him and really can't imagine getting into the realms of "decking" someone, let alone get so horrendously angry.

The whole tone of your post concerns me, OP and I honestly think you need help to get your violent feelings under some sort of control and perhaps get life into a little more perspective. Your husband merely wishing someone "Good Day" does not equate to sticking knives in your back.

lovelydogs · 17/09/2012 16:05

Wofflingon your post made me laugh.

Badlad how is your story relevant to the op? I'm very sorry to hear your you're afraid of all dogs and would beat one with whatever you could lay your hands on but this is clearly different to the situation in which the op describes. The older man had a dog, off the lead.

The op clearly is upset and wanted some support. Her uncle has died and her dog has been kicked, she is upset. I'm sorry you've been met with nasty name calling and jibes from the majority op.

JayEee · 17/09/2012 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 17/09/2012 16:38

Lovely - I watched my mum die from lung cancer....does this mean I can go round and swear at people and generally behave appallingly??

Bereavement is no excuse to act like an arsehole!

MadBanners · 17/09/2012 16:58

It is your responsibility to keep your dog under control....fair enough he should not have kicked your dog, but this was a situation entirely of your own making. Your reaction was totally over the top. You were both guilty of overreacting...but I am sure his opinion of you is no better than yours of him!

BadLad · 18/09/2012 00:41

lovelydogs, my story isn't relevant, except to point out that some people don't want strange dogs bounding up to them, and they might have very good reasons for that.

It was in response to the person who posted what I quoted in bold.

LongTimeLurking · 18/09/2012 06:53

YABVU. Perhaps this "miserable old git" was scared of your "large" dog.

I also own a large dog and I have spent a lot of time training her NOT to run off and say hello to complete strangers as many people are scared of dogs - even other dog owners can be nervous of big unknown dogs.

So many owners say 'oohh he is just being friendly....' as their dog either jumps all over you or makes a lunge and goes for you or your dog!

Also, what has being a powerfully built karate expert got to do with anything? You sound a touch psycho to me.

Seriously, learn to control your dog properly or put it on a lead and stop whining.

ladymariner · 18/09/2012 06:57

MorrisZapp

You're a size 16?

**

Why have you put this then? Unless you deliberately set out to sound like a rude, thoughtless twat........

Megatron · 18/09/2012 07:08

Ah I can't abide when people say 'it's OK, he's a big softie, he won't hurt you' are their dog hurtles towards you or your child. It's brainless.

My dogs are massive. And while I believe them to be big softies I have the sense to understand that not everyone likes dogs and not everyone wants them running up to them. He should not have kicked your dog but your dog should have been on a lead (as should his). Look after your dog properly in future and you might want stop behaving like a twat.