Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why people are such shits.

91 replies

kinkynagbag · 16/09/2012 10:53

i dont know where to put this but need to let off steam.
i went out last night for my birthday, was having a semi good night, got some of the usal sneers and laughs from drunk guys, we i thought your a twat and got on with it, untill we got to my favourite bar i walked through to go to the bathrooms when this random guy just grabs me by both arms and goe s " yeah right, your uglay" then shoves me backwards.

i carried on to the bath room n cried. i know im fat and not the best looking girl but was there really and need for that?

my friend s came to see where i was, could see that i was upset but i couldnt really tell them. there skinny minnis and gougoruse they wouldnt get it, and honestly it was embarssing.

why?

OP posts:
arthurfowlersallotment · 16/09/2012 13:32

Most of us have happened upon a drunken wanker OP. hey, I used to work with men like that. Sad, miserable, inadequate morons every one.

Happy birthday!

TheMonster · 16/09/2012 13:36

It is the main reason why, as an overweight person, I don't go out socially.

Secondsop · 16/09/2012 13:39

kinkynagbag I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, and on your birthday too. I just wanted to add to what others said, namely that this man obviously has nothing else going for him if his idea of a good time is to be incredibly rude to strangers. No good can come to him from
having an attitude like his. I hope the weekend has improved for you since the incident. Every barrel has its bad apples, but there are so many fantastic people in the world, all of whom would only wish you the very best x

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 16/09/2012 13:39

He is a sad, sorry little man, and will, deep down be very unhappy. Sadly, some angry unhappy people feel the need to spread that around so others can see what that is like. Be glad you are not him.

And I always try and remember that at least 90% of people are lovely.

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 16/09/2012 13:41

Badvoc! Shock Grin

BelinaTheChicken · 16/09/2012 13:44

That's horrible, what a cunt. I hope he gets genital warts.

And Happy Birthday Smile

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 16/09/2012 13:47

Whenever I get the odd comment, I just stare witheringly for a few seconds, then drawl "I only take comments from people whose balls have dropped. Now back to the playpen, little man" and walk off. It's condescending enough to shut them up, but I feel I have not stooped to their level of outright abuse.

FermezLaBouche · 16/09/2012 13:55

I'm so sorry this happened to you. As soleSource said upthread it's like there's so many angry people about who want to hurt and offend others. Like many who have posted, I've my share of shit. Shouted comments from passing cars, tits grabbed while holding drinks, etc

It's the wankerish behaviour of the angry, inadequate and poorly brought up.

redwineformethanks · 16/09/2012 14:19

You have to wonder what's wrong with these morons. Safe to assume either (a) they're single and likely to stay that way with such a terrible attitude or else (b) give their partner a hard time too

DottyandSpottyWot · 16/09/2012 15:21

What awful folk are out there! I've experienced this too, the worst one was when leaving a pub with a friend, guys started wolf whistling at her etc and one shouted to her, that she was to go home with him, and then I got the "but you can stay where you are love!" followed by lots of laughter.

I thought it was just drunken behaviour but yesterday while walking through BHS, there were 2 girls selling make-up, as my sister and I walked by, we said no thank you when asked if were interested in free make-up, this was met with the retort of, "bet you would be interested if it was free food!" Mortified beyond belief!

People can be so rude, I'm no angel but i keep my thoughts to myself!

FermezLaBouche · 16/09/2012 15:58

"bet you would be interested if it was free food"

Never! That's just awful! And that's the kind of thing you'd be desperately upset by, but too embarrassed about to complain! (I would, anyway.)
Rude, rude, rude.

DottyandSpottyWot · 16/09/2012 16:15

Totally true, thankfully i was shopping out of town so I never have to go back to that store!

Youcanringmybell · 16/09/2012 16:21

Holy shit! Some these comments make me think before even going shopping! I don't go out often because I am a size 16 and often the largest woman out but the abuse people are getting just shopping is horrendous.
Sad

FermezLaBouche · 16/09/2012 16:23

Ooh Hello youcan!

Proudnscary · 16/09/2012 16:27

Wow, OP. That is just horrible - what a pathetic, inadequate, twatty TWAT.

When I was younger one of the friends in my social group was quite large and she got lots of hurtful comments at bars and clubs.

We used to absolutely murder (verbally!) anyone who said anything like that. We were like a nest of MN vipers pack of banshees grilling him on why he thought he had the right to make someone feel so bad - until the man in question was practically begging for mercy.

mumtomoley · 16/09/2012 16:28

Another one.... I was minding my own business walking down the street near work and there were a group of builders sitting there. One of them calls out 'hello fatso' (to the tune of the old 'Hello Moto' motorola advert jingle..??!)

Again, wtf.. I was a size 14! And even if I had been a size 114 who the fuck are they to comment.

In balance, I should say I also get plenty of positive comments. So it honestly does say more about the person making the comments than it does about how you may or may not look.

Much of being attractive is about who you are, and I honestly believe that to be true. Not so long ago, a work colleague who is generally rather superficial and has quite a narrow view of what is beautiful told me (apropos of nothing) that I was much more attractive than the supermodel lookalike in our office for various reasons to do with how we both came accross. I am very average looking, mainly wear cardigans and am not even particularly interesting! Just goes to show it takes all sorts!!

Only4theOlympics · 16/09/2012 16:33

I find "I can diet but you will always be an arsehole!" Works well (even if I only say it in my mind most of the time)

Proudnscary · 16/09/2012 16:34

Aww mumtomoley I bet you are both perfectly attractive and interesting.

God these men people really don't understand the effect their comments have on others. Or maybe they do and they are just trying to make their own miserable existences seem better for a moment.

Youcanringmybell · 16/09/2012 16:35

fermez That is the first time anyone has called out to me Blush

Noqontrol · 16/09/2012 16:35

He's just a sad shit bag. I would say he's pretty unhappy in himself to feel the need to put people down like that. I remember on my 18th birthday some horrible bloke made a comment to me. I can't even remember what it was he said, but I do remember that when I made a rude comment back, he punched me in the face. Really hard.

Hope you had a good birthday apart from that.

FermezLaBouche · 16/09/2012 16:38

Undoubtedly these tossers are inadequate and unhappy, but it's the power they wield that gets to me. How is it they can destroy our confidence with a single comment or action? It;s wonderful when you've got friends who will stand up for you...but what makes people think they can inflict such mental pain on a total stranger?

HappyJustToBe · 16/09/2012 17:07

Tosser.

TuesdayNightClub · 16/09/2012 17:07

Some people are just arseholes unfortunately and will pick on people they are either jealous of or see as an easy target. Someone said something horrible to me recently when I was out and I was gutted about it, but I hate that some tosser has any power over me.

On another thread someone said 'some people will pull wings off a butterfly just because it's beautiful' which I rather liked.

Happy birthday OP!

Original poster
kinkynagbag · 16/09/2012 17:34

dottyandspotty- i would be mortified. and deff comaplain. part of me thinks they dont relize the power of words, whilst the other part thinks. well lodigally. well how do they expect you to feel.

in the past iv had friends who fight back over a snide remark. and go over the top to try and compliment me. i know they are doing it becasue they care but i dont like. esp the comliments way over the top and we both knwo its crap. but i know their heart is in the right place.

iv had the barking, shout out of the windows as they drive past. or better yet when they throw litter at you.

butyou are all right people like this must be very sad and angry about something, i allmost pitty them.

iv had a good day, got my big girl pants firmly back on. [grin[]

thank you again for the support and un mumsnetty hugs, and birthday wishs :)X

OP posts:
marjproops · 16/09/2012 17:49

ive had 'oh my god youre so f**g ugly'said to my face in the street in broad daylight so i know the feeling. dont look too bad from bahind but then they see my face and its 'o a troll' etc etc.
really upsetting but a couple of things that have workded sometimes was (apart from ignoring it ) 'im usually gorgeous im just having a day off', or 'i was born this way, whats your excuse'? if you show (outwardly at least ) that they havent got to you they usually back off. and happy birthday!