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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why people are such shits.

91 replies

kinkynagbag · 16/09/2012 10:53

i dont know where to put this but need to let off steam.
i went out last night for my birthday, was having a semi good night, got some of the usal sneers and laughs from drunk guys, we i thought your a twat and got on with it, untill we got to my favourite bar i walked through to go to the bathrooms when this random guy just grabs me by both arms and goe s " yeah right, your uglay" then shoves me backwards.

i carried on to the bath room n cried. i know im fat and not the best looking girl but was there really and need for that?

my friend s came to see where i was, could see that i was upset but i couldnt really tell them. there skinny minnis and gougoruse they wouldnt get it, and honestly it was embarssing.

why?

OP posts:

AngryBeaver · 16/09/2012 11:31

When people are drunk, they say and do very stupid things.
He was a complete arsehole devoid of any compassion. I hope he remembers the look on your face when he wakes up the next day and feels awful about himself. I hope he remembers that look for ever and is ashamed each time it pops into his mind. As he should be.
I think we all have a "story" of something bad that's happened at the hands of some pissed idiot. I was walking through a bar once with a drink in each hand, this guy just grabbed both my tits. All his mates laughed and did the "waahey!" thing. I was so upset.
Another time I was standing talking to a guy I used to go to school with, I was holding a drink (again!) and he suddenly pulled my top down. I was so shocked I dropped my drink, which smashed.Everyone looked and I just ran to the toilets in tears. I just couldn't understand why he would want to humiliate me like that. It was a few years ago now,and I still think of it.
I have come to this conclusion, sometimes, people are dickheads

Original poster

kinkynagbag · 16/09/2012 11:34

"Being nasty to strangers won't make your cock any bigger dear".

i laughed out loud to this, i shall remember this line, because it will undoubtly happen again. love it.

jizz-crusted wank-sock. is also my new favourite insult lol.

im saddend to hear that others have had the same nasty pointless insult thrown by drunk twats. i just dont get why people have to say shit like that, id never dream of doing it. makes my mind boggle along with other shit things people do.

OP posts:

mum11970 · 16/09/2012 11:35

Sorry to hear you met such a vile piece of work. I'd would hate for any of my kids to grow up to be such a disgusting person. Chin up Hun, try not to let him get to you, he's the one who is got the problem. Xx

Original poster

kinkynagbag · 16/09/2012 11:37

angrybeaver- thats nasty, just wrong!! i hope he appogised afterwards? just wrong.

OP posts:

Badvoc · 16/09/2012 11:41

I have had comments in the past (dont go out much these days!)
It's pathetic really.
Dont let some drunk tosser spoil your day.
If it happens again just look the waste of skin straight in the eye and say
"yes, I am fat. And do you know why? Every time your dad fucks me he gives me a biscuit"
:)

AngryBeaver · 16/09/2012 11:48

I think he did apologise. But I can't remember. It was so out of character too. He was always one of the "nice" boys. Quiet and respectful. So I was even more shocked. I cannot for the life of me work out what he was thinking of. But it was very cruel, and I will always feel the humiliation of the experience.
I hate to think of you dwelling on this cretin's pissed comments for ever. I just don't think people realise the impact of their acions on others

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 16/09/2012 11:53

I have that happen to me.
It used to upset me when I was younger but it doesn't now because I do not care what random drunk wankmonkeys think about me.
But it has taken a long time to get to this point.

I have never been overweight btw. These sort of people will just pick on whatever they think will hurt you most. It is no actual indecation of your attractiveness. It's all about making women feel bad about themselves.
They do it to women younger, prettier, slimmer etc than us.
They do it to keep us in our place.

Fuck that.

Happy birthday!

mumtomoley · 16/09/2012 11:56

I don't know but sadly there are many people like it. I remember going out for the night when I was about 19 and passing a group of blokes in the queue and one of them said' urgh look at the cellulite on that'. I was so upset, and do you know what I was BLOODY GORGEOUS then (size 10-12)! I can also remember someone saying to me in my 20's 'I really admire the way you have a good time and don't let your size get in the way' I was a size bloody 14 the cheeky bastard!

So yes, people are horrible, and weird. And actually the kind of men you find out boozing at the weekend are the worst. So whatever you do, don't take it to heart.

MardyArsedMidlander · 16/09/2012 12:02

I actually think a lot of these sad inadequate pricks do this because they find the woman in question attractive, know they haven't got a chance and think that bad attention is better than NO attention.
Obviously, they saw you looking happy and confident and not giving a toss about them, and just couldn't cope with that.
Just thank G-d you're not their wife- or their mother.

WanderingWhistle · 16/09/2012 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DolomitesDonkey · 16/09/2012 12:09

Wandering that's horrible too. :( I had someone "bark" in my face once in the street.

Now I'm no saint, I have mean thoughts about peoples clothes/make-up/appearance - but I cannot imagine under any circumstances I'd feel these need to be vocally shared with the offender in the street!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 16/09/2012 12:11

Not entirely the same but when I was at school a boy from a different school sang the song u.g.l.y you aint got no alibi at me one day. He was a friend of a friend so no stranger. He said some other nasty things too (which I think I have blocked out). All this was in a crowded bus station.

Anyway, years later I worked with his sister and was at her house one night getting ready for the xmas do. He pulled me aside and sincerly apologised. He made no excuses for his behaviour. Just that he had been an utter prick.

It will stay with that man. Deep down it will haunt him. He isnt happy. Every time you think of it, remember that it will eat away at him. Dont let it do the same to you!

DolomitesDonkey · 16/09/2012 12:18

wannabedomesticgoddess that restores my faith in humanity a little - I know it's not a "good" thing which happened to you - but I always assume(d) the perpetrators of such abuse never gave it a second thought wheras we carry these insults and hurt for life.

AllPastYears · 16/09/2012 12:20

Men never get this treatment from women do they?

mumtomoley · 16/09/2012 12:23

Well I don't know allpastyears women can be very cruel too.

I have seen women laughing about a blokes appearance, but the men are expected to laugh along with it. And I can also think of occasions when a man has asked my female friends out and they have basically laughed in their face. Again I'm talking about bar culture here.

It brings out the worst in people imo.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 16/09/2012 12:26

Women are cruel too.

I once heard a colleague tell another colleague that she would rather eat dog food than go on a date with him.

To be fair, given that choice I would have picked the same...but there really was no need for her to say it.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 16/09/2012 12:30

God, I can't believe some of these experiences. People really can be cruel can't they?

DanyTargaryen · 16/09/2012 12:34

People can be massive shits, I agree, someone once cycled past me and DP pushing dd in her parent facing pram, and said "that must be one ugly baby"

I was shocked and turned round and called him a cunt then cried most of the way home.

Maybe we aren't the best looking couple (disclaimer I think DP is gorgeous) but to say that about a then 6 or 7 month old baby made me really angry.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 16/09/2012 12:41

I agree that women can be nasty.
But do as many men experience this sort of thing as women?
Regardless of looks, age, size etc.

I am NOT saying its ok to go take the piss out of a man because he is overweight. What I AMA trying to say is that even the most stunning woman is likely to experience this sort of humiliation.

It reminds me of when I was dragged along to some hideous Chippendales type thing 20 years ago. It was all about women getting things their way. Was it my arse!

They would pull up women on stage. Not the youngest, not the prettiest but the ones who were overweight and perhaps not so confident, and humiliate them.

It was awful. Bloody horrible.

Nancy66 · 16/09/2012 12:49

Just imagine how miserable it must be for the poor women these fuckwits do deign to go out with....

They're low IQ morons OP

When I was in my teens and 20s I was very very thin, totally flat-chested and on the receiving end of many a 'no tits' gag by some random drunk.

JuliaScurr · 16/09/2012 13:02

Sorry you were unlucky and met a git. He probably does this every weekend 'for a laugh'. There are probably other women he's upset, not just you. You wouldn't say to them" You're fat and not the best looking girl" would you? So don't say it to yourself. He's the problem, not you, not the other women he bullies. Just him. You are fine.

redexpat · 16/09/2012 13:09

Have a very un mumsnetty hug from me x

TheMonster · 16/09/2012 13:18

It says more about his sad life than you. I can understand why you feel upset, but at least you don't have to see him again - he has to live with his sad self every day.

effingwotsits · 16/09/2012 13:21

What a twat. I'm so angry on your behalf. I'm sure you are NOT ugly at all. I assume he was an Adonis.....? No?

SnakePlisskensMum · 16/09/2012 13:26

Years ago, my gorgeous friend was very overweight but had the most beautiful face and wonderful personality. As 'thinner' friends, we had to listen to her being picked on, reviled, moo'd at, oinked at and generally laughed at by drunken, foul morons. She never let it get her down publicly and hated it when we stood up for her. However, she coined her inner Winston Churchill on one occasion, hoiked up her fabulous tits and said 'I could lose this weight, if I so choose to. You have got to live with that ugly fizog for the rest of your life you dirtlicker'.

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