to be baffled that a 19mo "only likes to eat crap"

[PrincessScrumpy]

I was feeding dds lunch at the end of a baby group I attend (dd1 has started reception and so needed to shovel food into twins before collecting dd1 and dtd's nap time, not something I usually do at baby group). It was dairylea sandwiches, a banana between them and a yoghurt each. It was a lunch, nothing fancy, no homemade bread or anything amazingly healthy, just a lunch. One of the mums said "oh I wish my dds would eat healthily like that, they will only eat crap... I try to give them healthy stuff but my partner's a nightmare. He's always giving them chocolate biscuits for breakfast and crisps all the time."

I really try not to judge other parents as there's always the fact you don't know what goes on behind closed doors etc but I find this statement crazy. It may well be that my dds would prefer a chocolate biscuit for breakfast but it's not an option. At 19mo us adults are fully in control of food.

AIBU to be at this or is this normal and I live in a bubble?

Well, the statement about her dp was a bit .
However, after 3 boys who eat everything in sight and therefore have a very healthy diet, I was then blessed with ds4 who eats beige. And only beige. Unless it is high in sugar/salt/fat, then he'll have it even if not beige . If I did not witness his eating behaviour every day, I would find it hard to believe myself.
Beware feeling smug about how well your dcs eat; the next one might have their own ideas. Just sayin'

Dairylea is healthy? Have you read the contents?

Oh god, I really want a chocolate biscuit now.

Hula that's my point - I wasn't giving dtds a "healthy" lunch, just a lunch I knew would be quick and fuss free, it was the other mum who seemed in awe of the healthiness of it!

Control over food intake of a 19mo?
Hahahahahaha!!!!

DS (21m) is deep in a beige food phase. I'm confident it's a phase which 'too shall pass' but it's horrible knowing that I can either give him a fish finger and he'll eat and be satisfied or offer what the rest of us are having and he'll be hungry and grumpy. I tend to do a little of both.

It can be a hard fall from that pedestal you are on but a little humility does us all good

i have a mindee (19months) who upto a few weeks ago would only eat chips, crisps, yoghurts, bread sticks. Yet will gag on anything else given.

However have got him eating properly, only for me mind. although his mother only feeds him convinence foods

I would say the issue is with the father feeding them the 'crap' all the time. If children know its readily available of course they will want to eat it!

Any tips Skinny?

DS was a dream to wean and loved everything. Never used jars, always cook from scratch yadda yadda yadda.

Fish fingers are a 'have in the freezer for hectic days but by no means fed with any regularity' but now he will eat nothing else.

oh dear, if what you gave them was considered healthy food.. they are in serious trouble.

i am impressed you took yogurt though.. we only managed bananas mostly..

We must share a bubble. Child eats crap because they are fed crap. A child only develops a food preference for a food they have tried. Eating issues are horrific for parents, the scenario you describe is not that. But you will get some posters who shout say otherwise I bet.

oh yes and a tin of absoluetly stinky cauliflower cheese that dd used to love...

The issue is deffo her DP feeding the kid crap - my husband does the same. Gives our 19 month old chocolate and chips 'as treats' because she 'shouldn't be deprived of them'. Drives me insane. She's an ace eater and eats everything so I find his attitude so frustrating.

Maybe she was trying to reach out to you?

What's wrong with fish fingers? Pick a decent brand (youngs or similar), made of actual fish fillet (rather than fish mince), bake or grill, and you have a good protein source which almost any child will eat... important that, as many "beige diet" toddlers are getting very little protein and way too many carbs/sugar.

stuff like this is why i get my knickers in a twist about relatives playing good cop bad cop with food.

little kids will only eat what people give them to eat (obviously excluding intresting stuff like none food items) if its not given they cant eat it, other people doing the whole treat thing piss arses about with that. and when you get a lo who then starts refusing normal food in favor of crap the good cops are very quick to carry on letting you be the baddy because they feel its the only way they can bribe love.

Actually Dairylea is pretty healthy these days, they've reformulated the recipe.

There's certainly nothing inherently unhealthy about Dairy Lea triangles - it's just milk, cheese and butter. I do wonder why it's so popular - cheese, butter and milk bought seperately are much cheaper and pretty much just as convenient and liked surely?

I think it's popular because it comes in a dinky wrapper and spreads easily. Haven't tasted one in years, must revisit!

notinmyday the biggest problem was getting him to try it, as in open his mouth i have to force the first mouth ful i.e make him open his mouth by tickling him, making funny noises etc anything to get his mouth open. once that mouth ful is in i have have to exaggerate the chewing motion and cheer/whoop/goooddd bbboooyyy until it is eaten then after they he eats the whole lot.

i did the whole puree etc for his mum as we needed him to start eating (4-6 month jars at 13 months old) else i was referring as a child protection issue, she just was not interested in helping me do i.

he refused everything so i backed off, then one day he was crying for my daughters fish pie. once i got the first mouthful in he ate a whole bowl not looked back since when he is with me. His mum says he doesn't eat at home but i don't believe her to be honest.

What's wrong with chocolate biscuits for breakfast?

Seriously. This morning DS ate a left over bit of a Nutrageous bar from the fridge, first thing in the morning. He then had cereal with milk, orange juice, and an apple. Does it matter what order he ate it in?

I think it's a bit of a myth that children can't make healthy food choices. DS has free reign over the contents of our fridge and has a perfectly balanced diet. He doesn't always eat what an adult might expect is "normal" (bowl of custard, cubes of cheese, peanut butter on toast, broccoli, nectarine in that order) but it's perfectly balanced.

What's Nutrageous? Sounds delicious.

Oh god, i hope my dc don't go through a beige phase. Dd is a fussy eater. Ds will eat anything. At the moment.

Well squoosh you ARE in for a treat!

A Nutrageous is an American chocolate bar made by Reece's (of Reece's Pieces fame) filled with insanely delicious peanut butter confection, rolled in peanuts, then covered in chocolate.

It comes in an orange wrapper, and can be found in some Sainsburys

Most children go through fussy stages regardless of well they have eaten previously.

my son ate perfectly until he was 9/10 and his diet changed rapidly from then on. He now (at 14) eats a very restricted (although reasonably healthy) list of foods.

It took me a long time to reconcile that if I am going to let my children have chocolate or other treats throught the day that it doesn't really matter when they have them - it is the quantity that is important.

Get your judgey pants out of your arse op. I have a dc that refuses to eat fruit and will only eat limited veg. He was fed and weaned in the same way as my other dcs who eat masses of fruit and veg. Some kids are just different....

There is a difference between eating limited veg and eating crap. Of course some are different - still no need to give crisps for breakfast!?!