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AIBU?

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Original poster

When will he learn? And why didn't I insist?

73 replies

TheHeirOfSlytherin · 14/09/2012 21:42

So angry and upset right now. Just came back from a week's holiday to find dh's brand new bicycle has been stolen.

Before we went away I did everything I knew to safe guard the house and my belongings. Dh left his bicycle locked up outside the garage. I told him to put it in the garage. He said no, it will be fine, it's locked up. I said it should still be in the garage. He insisted it would be fine. We get back today and the bike is gone, the lock has been cut through. Nothing else is missing, no sign that anyone attempted to get in the house.

Dh has form for not looking after his things, right down to not keeping his car keys out of ds's reach then getting upset that they get lost/damaged and leaving his glasses in stupid places like the floor or the sofa so when they get sat or stood on they are broken.

He is not allowed to be in charge of tickets or large sums of money when out and about because he has a background of forgetting the tickets and walking round with his wallet in his jeans pocket.

I knew he should have locked the bike away. Why didn't I ride out the argument and insist? We can't afford to replace that bike. I don't even know if the insurance will want to know as he left it outside the garage.

I'm so fucked off with him and I've told him so which I know isn't helping as he is very upset himself but seriously? I did not fucking need this.

OP posts:
JeuxDEnfants · 14/09/2012 21:44

YANBU.

NCForNow · 14/09/2012 21:44

I am not sure why you are so angry though. It's not your bike...it is his.

hattifattner · 14/09/2012 21:46

do you always treat him like a child?

quoteunquote · 14/09/2012 21:46

make sure it's him doing all the insurance form filling and running around, police log number,

and tell him to have a look on gum tree and ebay ,see if he can spot it.

what a pain.

Original poster
TheHeirOfSlytherin · 14/09/2012 21:47

It's our money though. 350 fucking pounds. I can't look at him.

OP posts:
NCForNow · 14/09/2012 21:48

That's what I thought too hattifattner* I have to say that if my DH was in your DH position...he'd deal...it would not affect me at all.

NCForNow · 14/09/2012 21:48

Don't you have any separate money at all OP?

Original poster
TheHeirOfSlytherin · 14/09/2012 21:48

I'll be treating him like a child even bloody more from now on.

OP posts:
TheMonster · 14/09/2012 21:49

Yanbu.

NCForNow · 14/09/2012 21:49

We're not well off...but we both have money that is "ours" for our own things...we're individuals. We share bills of course...all household stuff...but we still have some of our own money and what we do with that is our business

kim147 · 14/09/2012 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twooter · 14/09/2012 21:51

Was it uncovered? Because that would be even more stupid, to buy a new bike and leave it to get rained on. Yanbu

squeakytoy · 14/09/2012 21:52

he will just have to make do without a bike then for now, or buy a cheap second hand one off ebay..

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 14/09/2012 21:52

He will just have to go without his bike until he has sacrificed enough other stuff that is just for him and he can afford a new one.

You really do need to treat him like an adult if you expect him to behave like one.

Original poster
TheHeirOfSlytherin · 14/09/2012 21:54

We can't afford separate money. We are trying to work towards that. Dh's job is temporary and I'm the main wage earner. I wish we had enough to have our own savings but we haven't. We had to save hard for that bike.

Yes it was uncovered. I fucking told him to put it in the garage.

And yes he is generally unorganised, hence why I apparently treat him like a child.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheHeirOfSlytherin · 14/09/2012 21:55

Look where treating him like an adult got us though - £350 down the drain.

OP posts:
bogeyface · 14/09/2012 21:56

But £350 isnt pocket money is it? And if it is his transport to work then it wouldnt be unreasonable to buy it out of the family pot.

OP YANBU.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 14/09/2012 21:56

Does he need the bike to get to work?

JarethTheGoblinKing · 14/09/2012 21:59

In our house we jointly secure things before we go away. I would have just shoved the bike in the garage

onebigwish · 14/09/2012 21:59

Weird responses here Hmm £350 is a lot to lose. We don't do badly but DH and I don't have separate money. If something worth £350 were stolen from our garden it would affect us. Would I be pissed off if DH could easily have prevented it? Of course I would!

YANBU OP.

NCForNow · 14/09/2012 21:59

If you keep looking , you may get him one on Freegle...I have seen a few bikes recently on ours. That or a second hand one

bogeyface · 14/09/2012 22:00

I really get pissed off at the whole "Dont treat him like a child....." where does it stop?

If he is acting like a child then the OP has to protect her family and their finances from his fecklessness and if that means treating him that a 10 year old then tough titties!

Some men will NEVER be responsible, no matter how they are treated. Is the OP to wait until their house is being reposessed because he spent the money on sweets? OK, so OTT example, but some men are like that.

If he is a good husband and father in every other way then I dont see why she shouldnt do her best to make sure that he is forced to do the right thing in areas where he falls down.

NCForNow · 14/09/2012 22:00

I wouldn't be pissed off...I might be a bit "Well now you're in a pickle" but it's his own problem.. and he will have to sort it out.

Original poster
TheHeirOfSlytherin · 14/09/2012 22:00

No he doesn't need it to get to work. I got one with a seat for ds and he got one. It was so we could go out as a family, as we spend our lives working and not seeing each other. This was the first holiday we had been on as a family and we've been together 8 years! It was supposed to be a nice holiday with nice memories, and it's all been fucking ruined.

OP posts:
bogeyface · 14/09/2012 22:02

Heir the holiday hasnt been ruined. The holiday was still great, dont let this spoil your first ever holiday as a family. I understand how you feel though.