Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of an AIBPFB about this

75 replies

missymoomoomee · 14/09/2012 14:13

DS (10yo) got a letter through yesterday informing me they are going to weigh and measure everyone in his year and send everyone a letter out with the results and advice if your child is overweight. There was an option to call and opt out which I have just done.

I didn't expect the third degree about my reasons (which are that I don't want any of my children to think weight is an issue as long as they are healthy and active and eat well and its for that reason I don't have scales in my house either). She then went on to tell me my son may be singled out since everyone else is doing it and that I am being over protective since he is practically a teenager anyway (not sure how being 10 is nearly a teenager but there you go).

I really don't think I am, and I would assume I'm not the only parent who feels a bit uncomfortable with this. Am I being a bit PFB though? I need the brutalness MN wisdom on this one please (it won't change me not getting him weighed but I do want to know if I am being over protective so I can stop it in future)

OP posts:
grobagsforever · 14/09/2012 14:15

YANBU - I heartily dislike this nanny state weighing of children. Weight is not a matter for schools, they are there to educate not weigh. I will be doing the same when the time comes for my DD.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/09/2012 14:16

The children are not given the results, they are sent home in a letter. It was as a result of these sessions that lots of perfectly normal looking children were branded fat/obese with subsequent coverage in the press.

It is up to you, but there is no harm in having it done. It is how you deal with the results that means more.

LadySybildeChocolate · 14/09/2012 14:16

It's your child, if you don't want him to be weighed then it's your choice. Don't let someone bully you into this.

PandaFoot · 14/09/2012 14:16

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. And she had to right to be so rude.

Even if he was 'nearly a teenager' (he's 10! Wtf!) surely teenagers are even more aware and insecure about such things?

EldritchCleavage · 14/09/2012 14:16

Lots of people on here say they've opted out of this-it comes up every so often. It is one thing to explore your reasons (e.g. so she could set your mind at rest, correct misconceptions), but this woman sounds rude. It certainly is not her place to tell you you're being over-protective. It doesn't sound to me as though you are. I hope you gave her short shrift.

LemarchandsBox · 14/09/2012 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigsnugglebunny · 14/09/2012 14:17

YANBU I'd have told her to "nob off" and mind her own damn business!

When we were at school we didn't get weighed, and there were fat kids, thin kids and everything in between. I don't know what the current obsession with weighing and labeling children has come from.

Money would be better spent on a nit nurse than a weighing in clinic at school in my opinion.

LadySybildeChocolate · 14/09/2012 14:18

It's not being done for the benefit of your child, it's because the government want to know how overweight the nation's children are. One child who isn't weighed isn't going to make that much of a difference.

Toughasoldboots · 14/09/2012 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrunchyFrog · 14/09/2012 14:21

I don't like it, DC are opted out. But DD's class did data gathering, weighing and measuring etc, which was pretty mortifying for the child in her class who weighed double what some of the others did. They were only 7, and well aware.

MmeLindor · 14/09/2012 14:23

I think that she was rude, and you are not BU to be annoyed about that.

I also think that drawing attention to a child who is slightly overweight is not a bad thing as it gives you the opportunity to do something about it. Which doesn't mean that the child, or anyone one else other than his/her parents should be told. It is a heads-up.

There is evidence that parents do not see that their child is overweight, and sometimes it takes an outsider to point this out.

Tbh, I think that the children of parents who opt out of this kind of scheme are probably not the ones that most need it cause you are more likely to be aware of any issues with your DS's weight and take steps to correct it.

For children whose parents are not as - shall we say - proactive, it is a good thing to have a potential issue pointed out to them.

MmeLindor · 14/09/2012 14:25

oh, and those who are saying that the children were told which child in the class was overweight - I would be up at the school like a shot to complain about that.

It should be only a HCP and the child able to read the scale. Not the teacher or other children.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 14/09/2012 14:25

YANBU to opt out or not wanting a third degree about it. Your child your choice!

ClippedPhoenix · 14/09/2012 14:25

YANBU. Typical nanny state stuff that really gets my goat Angry

fluffyraggies · 14/09/2012 14:26

I gave my permission for this with my DDs. Didn't think twice. THEN i got a letter saying youngest DD was borderline underweight!!

I wasn't happy (DD didn't know anything about it) i huffed and puffed about it to DH. There was no follow up from the school, despite something on the letter about a possible referal.

She was going through a growth spurt, eats well, but was/is an active kid 6 months later she beefed up a bit.

There were a good few overweight children in DDs class. I wonder what the parents thought of their letters. No sarcasm intended, i genuinely do wonder.

There was at least one child in DDs year who was dangerously underfed (i worked at the school and the SENCO was aware) and i doubt the letter home helped much at all there :(

MisForMumNotMaid · 14/09/2012 14:26

My sisters twins were measured and weighed at school just before they were five. My niece who is very tall for her age came in borderline obese. She is perfectly proportional, if anything a little slim, we take clothes in not the other way around. Weight fluctuates so much with growth spurts and build up periods this really annoys me. Her brother was okay yet they're a mirror in build ( not height).

What's really annoying is rationally we know they're fine and healthy but now there's this little annoying niggle that's been there all summer - maybe we shouldn't let them have...

I wish we'd stuck with our instincts and my sister had not bothered with this testing. Stick to your principles and don't be bullied by the teacher.

IawnCont · 14/09/2012 14:26

Tough That is awful!!!!

Dumbleweed · 14/09/2012 14:28

I chose to not give permission for my youngest to be weighed. I am a very slack mother so definitely not PFB!

Anyone who doesn't see their child has a weight issue isn't going to do anything different just because someone writes to them?

Original poster
missymoomoomee · 14/09/2012 14:32

Thank goodness its not just me. The school health officer made me feel like I was the only one and it was really unusual to not have this done. I did tell her in the end that as he was my son its my choice and she told me to call back if I changed my mind Hmm

I know the children don't get the results but I don't even really want a letter telling me he is underweight/normal/overweight he is perfectly fine does loads of sports eats well etc and I don't think its important to know his weight really.

I feel better now, I was all self rightious on the phone then sitting afterwards thinking about it I did wonder if I was being a little precious.

OP posts:
Tuttutitlookslikerain · 14/09/2012 14:32

We opted out. Both my boys were taller and heavier than their peers so I didn't want them lablled as anything TBH. Now they are 17 and 15 they are both 6ft3 around 11stone and very, very fit.

One girl in DS2's class was about 5ft 4 and 8and a half stone with boobs and had started her periods. She was weighed and teased like hell for being 'fat' which she wasn't, by some of the other kids in the class.

I don't like it, a child can fall right within the healthy range and have the most unhealthy diet/lifestyle going, in the same way that a child can come out as unhealthy yet have a healthy diet/lifestyle.

Toughasoldboots · 14/09/2012 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
missymoomoomee · 14/09/2012 14:49

Tough it said on my letter the results are confidential, only the parents will receive a copy, it won't be held on the school files, the overall results will be sent to somewhere but without any names so they can get statistics from it. (I threw the letter away but that was the jist) so the class teacher shouldn't have had that information.

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 14/09/2012 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedBlanket · 14/09/2012 14:54

I never object to it as I don't want them to be singled out in class (we have enough of that anyway)
I barely give the results a cursory glance though and the DCs certainly never see them (they are sent through the post)

Molehillmountain · 14/09/2012 14:54

Yanbu. My friends daughter came out as overweight and it was ridiculous. A gorgeous, healthy, active child with a healthy diet.