More of an AIBPFB about this

[missymoomoomee]

DS (10yo) got a letter through yesterday informing me they are going to weigh and measure everyone in his year and send everyone a letter out with the results and advice if your child is overweight. There was an option to call and opt out which I have just done.

I didn't expect the third degree about my reasons (which are that I don't want any of my children to think weight is an issue as long as they are healthy and active and eat well and its for that reason I don't have scales in my house either). She then went on to tell me my son may be singled out since everyone else is doing it and that I am being over protective since he is practically a teenager anyway (not sure how being 10 is nearly a teenager but there you go).

I really don't think I am, and I would assume I'm not the only parent who feels a bit uncomfortable with this. Am I being a bit PFB though? I need the brutalness MN wisdom on this one please (it won't change me not getting him weighed but I do want to know if I am being over protective so I can stop it in future)

I refused as well. Again, like the OP, we dont have scales nor do the children have weight problems. I do have a chunky, rugby prop forward mountain of muscle, who has always played competitive sport. But in reality, I refuse to become part of the governments data drive and a statistic for the sake of it.

My daughter was in the 'overweight' category in reception. The categories in the letter were underweight, healthy weight, overweight and very overweight. I was surprised that there was only 4lbs between the top end of the healthy weight category and the lowest end of the very overweight category. So the entire overweight category just spanned 4lbs. Obviously I didn't share the results with my daughter, and don't understand why some people do. I don't mind the measurements being taken to give a picture of national levels, but would be furious with the school if they ever did that weigh the class and make a graph thing - am seriously hoping that schools have moved on from that these days - still remember the embarrassment when this was done in maths at secondary school!

We will never give permission for this type of thing.

DP had an eating disorder when he was a young teenager and I suppose you could argue I'm overcautious because of this, but I don't want my DCs being given the impression that their weight or diet is a problem. They are perfectly healthy DCs, but I certainly don't wish to give them the idea that this is something they need to focus on.

Only one school age DC at the moment, so will see if this changes as the years go by.

For lots of children, their weight and diet is a problem. who is going to help them?

I lean towards YABU.

If it's not a big deal, what he weighs or doesn't, then you shouldn't make a statement of protest by not giving permission. Better to turn it into a non-event by treating the information & the gathering of that information as trivial.

YANBU.

I went to an all girls boarding school where we were weighed and measured twice a year, supposedly to "catch" those who developed an eating disorder. It had completely the opposite effect. We were of course old enough to read the number on the scales ourselves and there was immense pressure to say how much you weighed when you came out of the room and work out who was lightest etc. Even age 11 I remember being deeply uncomfortable with this, especially as I was a bit podgy before hitting puberty.

2ticks at you having to make a graph to (effectively) pinpoint the fattest person in the class!

I meant safety as in the information not being used by teachers in a unpleasant way i.e the poster above mentioned a graph :O

What a silly age to be doing this at 10 year olds are just starting their pubity...
my youngest had always been a slim lad right up until that age then all of a sudden, almost overnight he seemed to double in size and remained like that for approx 12 months, as he grew he quickly returned to his previous weight so any results will not be beneficial to anyone....

Also I think that doing things like this in school can lead to some children suffering issues regarding their weight and food.

Either they will weigh in fine, in which case, no problem, or their weight will not be fine, in which case the problem will be their weight, not the weighing.
You really are focusing on the wrong aspect.

DS was weighed in Reception. I had a letter saying he was obese. When the letter arrived we re weighed him and measured his height. In the 3 months from getting weighed to us getting the letter he had shot up and thinned out. He does this every time he has a growth spurt - podges up horribly and then shoots up over night so you can see his ribs again.
I will refuse to let DD be weighed this year and again when they both reach Y6.

Personally I wouldn't opt out of this sort of thing as I think that it is an important issue, but if you know that your child is a healthy weight and has a healthy diet then YANBU. I'm sure your DC won't be singled out or anything, it sounds like the teacher is being a bit dramatic to try and persuade you to 'comply'.

Is it really such a problem?
I don't remember being bothered when I was measured and weighed at school, in fact, checked from head to toe. And I was pretty skinny and underweight then too.

If he is 10 then there is 2.5 years (on average) until he is a teenager. That is 25 % of his life.

I am 33. 25% of my life is 8 years. Therefore I am practically in my 40s.

Please don't say that!

I will be opting out when I get the letter for my DS.

I weigh him at home. I have struggled with weight problems and I absolutely don't want him to struggle as I have had. We make it a game to see what numbers we can make come up on the scales and only do it maybe 3 times a year.

If I saw he was edging towards overweight I would adjust his diet, I make sure he has a healthy diet and active lifestyle so I doubt that would happen.

If I am asked why I am opting out, I will simply say because I am his mother and have decided that it's not in his best interests.

unfortunately, the people who really need the help are those least likely to access it, so I understand why they do this, but they should not be questioning your decision when you say no.

Oh and I also opted out of the GP putting mine and my DS medical records on the new NHS online system thingy - don't really want parents of kids I teach being able to access my private information if they happen to work in the NHS, and I have an unusual surname!

pineapple I'm not being ignorant but I really don't see how agreeing to have your child weighed will make them "struggle with weight problems".

My DD (8) loves jumping on my scales & i mean jumping. To her it doesnt mean anything. To her its just something to do.

She weighs herself when shes bored or passing the scales & then usually goes & gets something to eat. My dd is healthy & actively & doesnt care about her weight.

I think the teacher was BU to want a reason why you opted out.

YANBU. I did the same thing for DS2 last year - only via letter to the school.

Its a Government monitoring exercise in reality and has little to do with the health of the children.

As one mum has already pointed out she got a letter about her DD being underweight with absolutely no follow up.

She shouldnt have give you a hard time (the school nurse I presume?) as it is none of her business but unfortunately they seem to be very task driven...

I provided a copy of my child's recent optician report (that week!!) rather than them doing an eye test for his statementing screen (Height, weight, hearing and sight) nor did I consent for that element of the screening preferring to use someone properly qualified.

They did the eye test anyway.

Oh and they failed to pick up on the fact that my son is off the scale for height and weight - thankful it's something that his paed is following up but she would have had no way to know that.

If it was a GP led thing I think it would work better.
but I was in staff rooms long enough to know its fodder for gossip and I have a duty to protect my children.

I was always conscious of my weight from a very young age, although looking back at photos I really wasn't overweight. We got weighed at upper school as part of science lesson, we had to write our weights on the board and then work out how much pressure we exerted on the earth by measuring our feet as well, and write it on the board. I was a little bit heavier than the other girls and have tiny feet, so both my numbers were highest. I felt so, so humiliated. I went on to develop anorexia and have had a couple of relapses when times are tough. I'm not saying that what happened at school is totally to blame because it isn't, but it reinforced all my feelings of inadequacy about my appearance. I won't be letting school weigh DS when the time comes.

Really bizarre reaction, cbeebies. Staffroom fodder? For what? What possible use is your childs weight to any teacher? The only reason it might be mentioned is if your child is overweight and you refuse to acknowledge it.Otherwise it would be wholly unremarkable.

Hmmmm, can see both points of view. I'm not in the UK. British children are the most overweight in Europe and it is one of the first things which I notice when I am ever in the UK. A previous poster said that it is easy for parents to not realise their child is overweight as larger children are the norm and so, without a doubt, there are parents who are blind to their child's weight problem or in denial.

Actually, a BCA test which measures the amount of body fat compared to muscle would seem a more accurate way of monitoring a child's weight. Let's be honest here, being overweight or underweight is not healthy.

These weight checks are not just for obesity. They are also screening for underweight children too. Sometimes being out of the ideal weight range is just due to a growth spurt and nothing else but it could be down to other reasons which would warrant a follow up.

Weight screening should always be done privately. Just because the children are at school is no reason not to respect the medical confidentiality which they are legally entitled too. The graph incident was just awful.

OP - Only you can truthfully answer why you don't want your child weighed at school. Your child, your decision.

Teachers can be very bitchy about children, why would it only be mentioned if you're child is overweight , are neglected malnourished children okay now?.

why is it bizarre to live in the real world a few posters have given examples where is has happened.

you must know some weird teachers.