I am a mum to 3 girls of 17 wks, 2 yrs and 4 yrs. I no longer live in the UK so don't see my family very often.
My dh has been away on a business trip for the last 2 wks so my parents came to help me with my dd's, they also haven't seen them for nearly a year.
The night before they were due to leave my mother told me that my dd's were wild and out of control and that i need to do something about it. I became very upset by this, it is simply not true. My dd1 can be a bit stroppy and challenging at times of late, usually when she is tired or bored. My 2 yr old also can be stroppy when tired, can be quite stubborn if she doesnt want to do something and they do fight over toys which often ends in tears. These behaviours don't happen all of the time and they both have very endearing aspects to their personalities too. To me this is normal behaviour of children of this age, they are no different to my friends dcs from what I can see. I said that it is not acceptable to say such things to me about my children. She told me it needed to be said. I disagreed and she told me she would tell anyone the same if necessary. They said that they are already acting like unruly teenagers and that my skills as a parent need to be questioned. I feel like they have labelled them as "bad" and thats it. My father was very authoritarian in his approach to parenting, neither myself or my siblings have good memories of him from our childhood. He shouted at my 4 dd on this visit to "stop behaving like an animal" when she held a piece of plain spagetti against the wall in a cafe. Ok she shouldn't have done it but I simply will not speak to them like this. I am not an absent parent by any means but I don't them living in fear of me. The upshot of all of this was that they decided to leave there and then, a day early stating they were no longer welcome. I haven't spoken to them since as I am so upset with them and I am not sure that this can be resolved as I feel they have gone to far this time. Am I being unreasonable?