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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Women who let their hair go grey

836 replies

CJ2010 · 13/09/2012 10:36

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
bemusedmoose · 15/05/2017 19:24

I started going grey at 17!! Now 35 im 75% grey. Dying my hair is..
1 a pain in the back side. As a single mum of two, i never get the chance to top up.
2 it's expensive
3 it's a whole bunch of chemicals the environment and your body could do without.
4 grey often doesn't dye well
5 it's none of your damn business what i do with my hair or how i look!

Seriously, where do people get the idea it's ok to pass comment on other people's choice of look? Or even to slate being the way nature intended? We are supposed to look like people, not waxworks with fake hair, fake boobs, a shed load of contouring (ok so it looks good in a selfie, but in the harsh light of day, it looks like a clown face - admit it, we all want to say it! But we dont because it's rude and none of our business) at what point do you suggest you stop dying and go natural? When you have so much grey all dyes give you an ugly orange glow? Or just go for the 90 year old with shocking black hair?

Nobody has the right to tell people how they need to look. NOBODY! If you choose to colour, fine, if you choose not to, fine. What is not fine is letting your thoughts be out loud. Would you tell someone of they weren't so fat they would look younger, or if they were so short they would be more mature? No (at least you shouldn't and if you do - dont) it's called common courtesy, basic good manners and generally being a nice person to not pass negative comments on. No one can stop you thinking it, doesn't mean you need to say it (something i teach my kids, but too many adults cant grasp)

And breathe.... Rant over! Next please! 😂

kldw2014 · 15/05/2017 19:28

I see what you are saying OP, but you are expecting others to have the same outlook on life as you. I don't think it is about 'looking' good, it is about 'feeling' good. That means something different to each person. Personally, and particularly for my job, a bit of aging is a benefit; so I am 37 and going grey. I have a pretty good badger-thing going on. I toy with dying it, but that is pure vanity; I am not 20, and for me being 20 sucked (all the choice and youth in the world, and no money or imagination to enjoy it!)! One side benefit is that my husband loves my grey and thinks it is sexy. Bit embarrassed to admit that... but I think the Mrs. Robinson / George Clooney thing works, whatever your preference...anyway, I do think YABU, because it does feel shallow to judge people in this way.

DaisyFlower161 · 15/05/2017 19:29

Darn nonsense, grey/silver hair equals free highlights!!

jsmith17 · 15/05/2017 19:36

I am 38 and haven't found any grey yet. However I do have highlights which may be hiding a few. When I do I will definitely dye it. Each to their own though.

McSmith · 15/05/2017 19:39

I've always been naturally very blonde but started going a bit mousy in recent years - fortunately my grey is coming through looking rather silvery, and I've had numerous compliments about my 'highlights' including from hairdressers 😀.

BroomHandledMouser · 15/05/2017 19:41

I've dyed my hair grey, bloody love it I do.

My mum (59) has grey hair all over and I think she looks beautiful Smile

LubiLooLoo · 15/05/2017 19:43

God forbid a women allows herself to age naturally. It's so unbecoming!

YABVVVVVR!

Colour your hair great, or don't. Aging is a part of life and it's beatiful in all forms. I hate this stupid pressure on women to look a certain way. It's bullshit.

unapaloma · 15/05/2017 19:46

OP I don't know why people like you dress as you do, it doesn't suit you, makes you look daft, I would have thought you'd want to dress in thing I like.

Or maybe its non of my business how you choose to dress, or do your hair.

Which do you think is closer to reasonable?

ThatsNotMyMummy · 15/05/2017 19:52

Im under 40, going grey and letting it happen, at the moment I'm getting a badger stripe.
I am really really not bothered about getting older so i can't see the need to "hide" it.

Im also assuming your actually a journalist and we've all bitten, because someone can't be that stupid?

Sittingonthedockofthebay · 15/05/2017 19:58

I'm off to cancel my appointment to have my hair coloured on principle now.

Ski4130 · 15/05/2017 20:02

43 here and proudly letting the grey grow in, I could not care one iota what anyone else thinks about that. My head, my hair, my grey highlights, my decision.

HollyWollyDooDah · 15/05/2017 20:04

I'm 28 and dyed my hair grey
Loved it - high maintenance though

BossyBitch · 15/05/2017 20:05

I'm 35 and blessed with some rather lucky genes in that I can plausibly get away with claiming to be 28.

I have no greys by nature but have recently had my bleaching disaster toned so silvery/ashy that it actually looks full-on grey now (technically a toning disaster to follow, I had asked for a fawn colour). I love the look, it's actually ridiculously stylish.

catwrangler · 15/05/2017 20:07

I already love having grey hair, but somehow knowing that it irks the OP just makes it even better Grin

maxandmoo · 15/05/2017 20:08

Bonkers! Grey hair can look very chic and achingly cool, versus looking like a desperate aging lush??? No brainer if you ask me, YABVU

Sparklingbrook · 15/05/2017 20:08

The OP from FIVE YEARS AGO? Confused

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 15/05/2017 20:08

I see people are still addressing the OP. She posted this FIVE years ago. She won't see what you're saying now.

Ginnotgym · 15/05/2017 20:10

Wow

Sparklingbrook · 15/05/2017 20:10

Deploys Marty McFly in last ditch attempt-

Women who let their hair go grey
FanjoForTheMammaries · 15/05/2017 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuietNameChange · 15/05/2017 20:12

I wonder if the OP has grey hair nowadays? Or had they already had it (but most likely coloured) when they started this thread? (if the OP already said so... Well, I didn't rtft...)

BeBeatrix · 15/05/2017 20:16

I'm in my late 30s and letting mine go grey. It may well make me look older (although, strangely, people usually think I'm younger than I am).

But why would I want to look younger? I don't understand why it matters, how old I look.

Maybe I should have started a thread asking many women spend so much money and time and emotion trying to look younger...

PacificDogwod · 15/05/2017 20:20

Z
O
M
B
I
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T
H
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E
A
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I cannot believe I fell for it yesterday Blush

Ski4130 · 15/05/2017 20:22

Maybe the OP will be grey by now then? Comforting thought Smile

gormenghast · 15/05/2017 20:22

I feel a bit insulted that 70 should be seen as 'very old'
I am nearly 70 and have no grey hair. I know women in their fifties who have been old and twee since they left their teens but I don't stereotype vast swathes of my fellow women. When I start to go grey I will definitely go to the hairdresser and get it coloured.Perhaps purple would suit.