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AIBU?

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Original poster

Women who let their hair go grey

836 replies

CJ2010 · 13/09/2012 10:36

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

OP posts:
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5
Gran22 · 14/05/2017 20:33

I started going grey in my forties, kept streaking my mousy brown locks for a while as I think hair dyed a solid colour never looks natural. After a few years I grew it out. It's now white, in good condition and cut in a mid length bob. I get compliments about it. Our skin fades as we get older, lighter coloured hair looks less harsh IMO.

QuietNameChange · 14/05/2017 20:34

Gingerstuff

I must admit, a mother of a friend from primary school has had short, grey hair for as long as I know her. But she's tall, slim and has a really great bone structure...

But yes, generally speaking I agree.

My mother didn't have any grey hair until her late firties. And later she got these really lovely silver strands in her dark brown hair.... (I unfortunately have lighter hair). It looked really phenomenal in updo, braid etc...

But short and coloured hair is imo either really aging or just looks "weird"/unnatural.

But yes, grey hair is imo honestly gorgeous :) I'm not afraid of going gray. But I am somewhat afraid of getting brittle hair/hair loss in general.

QuietNameChange · 14/05/2017 20:36

*Fourties

What the heck are firties? :D

NarcsBegone · 14/05/2017 20:37

I got my first grey hairs at 23, I'm now 39 and so fed up with it colouring it every 3 weeks or so. The root regrowth looks awful and I'm considering having it stripped and embracing the grey which I wish I had done originally. I would have looked amazing grey younger but I was young and worried about people judging me....

hazeyjane · 14/05/2017 20:38

Yes, Theresa May is exactly who I am trying to emulate, she is my style icon. Her, and Irene who seems to live in the Drs waiting room (apart from pension day, when she is in the cafe next to the post office, having a bun and a pot of tea.)

OCSockOrphanage · 14/05/2017 20:39

I stopped having my hair coloured for several reasons. Cost was one, so was the family tendency to grey young (but to have awesome skin regardless). People do now assume I am the age I am because my hair is greying (to an awesome white, just in case you care, but slowly!)

However, I've just spent a weekend with friends from way back, and my skin looks 10-15 years younger than either (one is 2 years old; the other 2 years younger... I smoked for years but neither of them did). It's a genetic lottery basically so if you look better or worse than you think you should, thank or blame your grandparents!

QueenofPentacles · 14/05/2017 20:39

Maybe these women don't want a doubled risk of cancer?
Maybe hair dye irritates the fuck out their scalp?
Maybe they are comfortable in their own skin and don't care if they affront you?
You sound so mean and judgemental.
What you mean is, why can't everyone be like me? I am so gorge.

Sara107 · 14/05/2017 20:39

Mine is getting g early, family trait. Mid 40s at least 60% grey. I have n't had enough money to get salon colouring done and nothing looks worse than a poor dye job, or growing out roots. I notice quite a few women at work who do dye, and you can see after a while it's affecting the condition of the hair. So my decision was no dye, rather than botched, home done jobs that knackered my hair and always had roots showing.

SouthWestmom · 14/05/2017 20:40

Because

It suits my skin tone

Not that that matters as I wear a shed load of make up

It's an amazing white colour in places

It's not got the cringy ruler of shame after a couple of weeks

Grey hair is natural; it's a bit mad to pretend it doesn't happen

Colour for fun : great! colour for pretence: tragic

Goodythreeshoes · 14/05/2017 20:40

I wish I'd never started colouring mine and let it go grey naturally in my early 40's. 18 years on and it costs me an absolute fortune to maintain the colour, but I'm now too scared to grow it out.

Mombie2016 · 14/05/2017 20:42

I'm 30. My hair is currently half black and half grey. I think it looks cool as fuck and I won't be dying it any time soon.

MitzyLeFrouf · 14/05/2017 20:42

Colour for fun : great! colour for pretence: tragic

I'm all for people embracing the grey but I hardly think it's 'tragic' if other people want to fight it.

ChippingIn · 14/05/2017 20:43

This ZOMBIE thread has really made me sad. I've seen lots of friends that either no longer post, or post under name changes. Miss you guys 😕

FloweringDeranger · 14/05/2017 20:44

40 something going grey (nothing to do with very active children, oh no). Never worn make-up either. I absolutely, emphatically and whole-heartedly reject any idea that women's - or men's - worth has anything to do with their looks, I've got this far thinking that, and no grey hairs in an image-obsessed culture are going to change me now.

As someone who's never worshipped appearance as a marker of value, but does have an ordinary human aesthetic sense, do you (op) have any idea how ugly and plastic make-up-and-dye looks to me?

maddiemookins16mum · 14/05/2017 20:45

Gawd, am really pissed off it's a Zombie. That said, same responses apply.

MitzyLeFrouf · 14/05/2017 20:46

Goody speak to your hairdresser. They could maybe give you some highlights as you grow the dye out so you don't have a strong contrast between emerging grey hair and block of older dyed hair.

inkydinky · 14/05/2017 20:49

Mine is coloured every three weeks. In a salon. It's expensive and time consuming and I am BORED of it. At 42 though, with an early-mid 30s face (I am told) I don't quite feel old enough to go completely grey yet. And the thought of having to pretty much go blonde first, after a lifetime of brunette horrifies me. I plan to go grey in my late 40s, certainly by 50.

greenworm · 14/05/2017 20:50

I know it's a zombie but...

I know what you mean a little bit, I do see some women with grey streaks where I think they'd look loads better if they dyed it.

However, I admire them for not giving in / caring about conventions of beauty enough to do so.

Also I think some women look stunning with a full head of silver hair, eg Judy Dench.

styledilemma · 14/05/2017 21:04

I once went for a haircut at a trendy hairdresser and discovered that ALL the young and hip staff had got grey hair.

Do people realize that the 'beautiful silvery grey' that is in at the moment still requires time and money at the hairdresser. (well for it to look good it does)
There's nothing 'natural' about it.

People are seeing the 'new grey' and mistakenly thinking that if they let their own hair 'go grey' it will miraculously look similar to that nice silvery colou you see about on the younger people..
9 times out of 10 it won't.

That beautiful silvery colour you see on the likes of Helen Mirren and Judy Dench will cost a lot of money at the hairdressers. That's not their natural grey shining through.

spankhurst · 14/05/2017 21:08

Because not everyone equates age with less attractive.

I also think grey hair is aging, but can totally get why some women don't care/dye.

user93483098350593850000 · 14/05/2017 21:19

I spend some time on a site where we are all trying to find safe ways of colouring hair that don't lead to hospitalisation and even death for those of us with PPD allergies.

Remember you can develop these allergies at any time, even after using the same product for years and years. In fact, many of the women there have found just that happen to them.

So if you see them out there with their grey hair, please remember (1) it might be their choice to go grey - good for them having the guts to do so (2) they may wish they could but they can't risk their lives for it.

wigglybeezer · 14/05/2017 21:23

We only think grey hair is aging because we only tend to see it on old ladies, if a wider age range left their hair to grey naturally we would alter our perception of it. After all we change our perception of hairstyles and clothes all the time because of fashion ( beards on young men ?).
DH had gone bald but I don't insist he wears a wig to avoid looking old.

DawnDoctor · 14/05/2017 21:58

I don't dye my hair for the same reason I don't do weights 4 times a week or use a tanning bed or spend hundreds of pounds on clothes every month - there are more important things to me than physical appearances. Maybe I look 10 years older than I am... So what? I'm healthier than most people 10 years younger than me and I'm very happy with my life!

MitzyLeFrouf · 14/05/2017 22:01

To be fair to weight lifting it goes way beyond making people look better. Great for keeping bones strong into middle age and beyond.

IckleWicklePumperNickle · 14/05/2017 22:04

Wow!! Are you looking for a medal?!?

I'm 34 and have many grey hairs. Why would it bother you?

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