Women who let their hair go grey

[CJ2010]

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

I'm 39, dark brown shoulderlength hair with an increasing number of white hairs at the front. I like them and I'm looking forward to getting more. I might dye my hair occasionally if I fancy a different colour (red last year) but that's always semi-permanent and not about hiding the white.
I don't wear makeup and I live in jeans because they're comfortable. I'm happy with how I look and if going to the troyble of regular dyeing makes other women happy, that's fine.

Why ARE you so bothered, OP? Do you secretly resent dyeing your own hair?

Scuttlebutter and Doyouthinktheysaurus, I hope to be as wise as you in a while.

I note OP hasn't been back for a while

Maybe us many silver-foxy ladies have successfully convinced her she WBU...

Trouble, even...

Dear god almighty. I'm allergic to hair dye, so I have no choice. What ya gonna do, OP? Poison me, so I look nice enough? Bah.

(High fives MrsSquirrel) I'd been wondering who the other woman in London who didn't dye her hair was .

At 41, my hair has suddenly got a grey layer underneath on both sides. Before, it was just the odd grey hair.

Probably after noticing that, it dawned on me that I almost never see women under 60 with any grey hair any more.

I have a naturally beautiful colour of hair, so I doubt that any dye could match it. I'd prefer to have my own colour with grey in, than a dyed one with no grey.

I don't wear make up, and while I like to feel reasonably smartly presented for work, I don't take the view that that means doing exactly the same thing as everybody else.

Having said that, it's clear from the women I see that dyes have improved greatly in recent years. They look great, and I wish them well.

I started going grey in my twenties and have dyed it for years. I'm now 55. after so many years of hair dying I thought it time I stopped, before I get a reaction to the chemicals.
I like not having to worry about dying it (and the expense). One person has suggested it would look better dyed. I 'm still considering whether to re-start.

My ageing blonde hair would still look blonde-ish at the school gates if it weren't for all those pesky younger mums putting yellow dye on their hair and making my gold-and-silver locks appear grey by comparison. It's their fault if I look as if I'm 'ageing dramatically', then, not mine, so there, OP.

If men are silver foxes - should we claim the term silver vixens for ourselves? :)

(I quite like the sound of it)

In my 40's with long totally white , silver hair ... living in a country where NO woman ever goes grey.... I love that just going with the flow gives me such a unique edgy look !

What country is that justbreathe? Is there a sharp itake of breath when they see your hair?

I quite like grey hair on younger women. I think it makes people look more attractive because of the inner confidence its shows. Dyed hair with grey roots showing looks horrible. Why should people have to dye their hair if they don't want to.

YADBU.

It's a colour.

Some people let themselves go grey because It doesn't matter to them, and why should it matter exactly?

Some women aren't too fussed about looking older, what don't you get about that?

"I love the colour of the rest of my hair"

Yes, me too.

I´ve never dyed my hair.

I occasionally put a reddish colour on now-it doesn´t change the clour of my hair, but gives me pink greys

i don't have highlights or use dye anymore - tis very flattering at a certain age much more so than obviously dyed hair

I don't like grey hair on me and I have mine professionally coloured and highlighted all the time. I like the polished/groomed look, but that's just who I am. I like wearing lovely clothes and make up too. Always wear perfume even if I am not leaving the house.

But I would not judge others for not colouring their grey up.

I'm surprised so many of you are pro-grey. While of course everyone is free to do what they like, I do think grey hair ages people a lot. I can think of people I know with a kind of dark grey hair, not silvery light grey, and people do generally think they are much older than they actually are. If they're happy with that fine but I don't really want people to think I look older than I am. Of course not everyone can dye their hair and I wouldn't wish to offend anyone who has health reasons for not doing so, but I think wanting to look prematurely old is a bit bizarre. I agree that the people in the photos which have been posted look good, but I think they would probably all look better without grey hair.

As far as the sexism complaint goes, I prefer men without grey hair too. My DH has a few but I prefer him not looking predominantly grey. I asked if he'd ever dye it and he just laughed. Of course I love him with grey hair but I'd be happy if he dyed it. My father had fantastic jet black hair until about age 60 and now at 68 has more and more grey, and it makes me sad - I feel he now is starting to look like an old man.

Why is wanting to look old any more bizarre than wanting to look young?
Anyway, I don't think it's about wanting to look older than you are - it's more about being perfectly happy with your age and not having a problem with looking it.

But the thing is, many prematurely grey people actually look a lot older than their age.

Having grey hair does not make you "prematurely" old. SIL "had" to start dying at 17, because she has masses of grey - she's a brunette. Most brunettes I know had their first greys before 25. So if it's biologically NORMAL to have greys while still young - it's hardly premature, is it?

Same with wrinkles. I didn't have any before I lost weight (there are no wrinkles on a balloon ) but now I have laughter lines around my eyes. I like them. I like looking like an adult (it may be a novelty, since it's recent. And last night I was told I would make an excellent Oliver , so I may have some more maturing to do) but I love the character it gives. I'm 35, I don't have premature ageing, I have a natural, normal amount of ageing for someone with my skin and hair type.

Why are we so obsessed with maintaining youth at all costs? The usual answer is "because it looks better," but that's not an objective assessment.

I'd rather look my age than fake my looks to attain a standard of beauty that 1) I will never ever reach, when even the Great Beauties of the day are held up to nit-picky ridicule and 2) appears to be a construct to keep women in their place. (You can NEVER be good enough, post-baby bodies are gross, a normal amount of body fat is disgusting, skin that is not airbrushed is ageing, hair must be dyed, straightened, primped, shoes must hurt and clothes be restrictive. You will feel GUILT for eating Naughty Food, and SHAME and HORROR when you have a spot. Hah. Take that, you bunch of uppity harpies.)

I started going grey in my twenties. Roll forward 20 years of colouring my hair and I'm now sensitive to all hair colours - including those which supposedly contain no PPD. I do risk it from time to time but for my vanity will probably wake up one morning with a face like a football, eyes which are stuck shut and breathing problems, resulting in an emergency visit to A&E.

It's not 'premature aging' to have some grey in your hair in your 40s (or even younger), it's normal!

Absolutely fine to dye it a different colour if you want to, but I don't agree it's 'bizarre' if someone prefers not to do that.

I have a very babyish face and am petite. I am in my late 30s (but look 15 years younger) doing a senior role traditionally done by men 10/15 years older than me. I keep the greys because without them I would look like a teenager. Sounds great but not when your job is to convey an air of authority/seniority and your rivals naturally have it.

My mother on the otherhand colours her greys and then wonders why people treat her with suspicion when she uses her OAP cards - she's in her 70s but looks 20 years younger.

I am perfectly happy being my natural self. Rarely wear make up, have grey and I don't give a shit. Turning 28 tomorrow and people always think I am much younger, never mind the mother of four children!