to be utterly livid with this nurse and feel like weeping

[ClaudiaSchiffer]

I took my daughters (7 & 5) to the local docs today for a flu vac, whilst sitting in with the nurse she turned to me and asked all sweetness like, "are you their granny?" "granny or mum?" "granny?" "mum???".

I'M 44 ffs.

Ok my hair has it's own natural highlights steel grey, but really, who mistakes a FORTY FOUR year old for the kids GRANDMA. (OK I know there are 44 yr old grandmas and I salute you but REALLY!).

I am devastated.

No permission requested by the nurse. It was JUST bitchyness NOSEYNESS

i was actually mistaken for being my DH's MUM once when i was in hospital, I was 28 and he was 22, I was mortified to say the least, granted I wasn't well but WTF

I am sorry but that made me but not at your expense. What a dick! Even if unsure, surely there are better ways to ask? What can you do though? Don't be devastated, just feel sorry for those that work with her and have to deal with her everyday.

Ha Ephiny, yes that is worse

Thank you all for making me feel a bit better.

If she wanted to check about form signing surely a simple 'Are you their mother?' in case the OP was an aunty or childminder (or great-great grandma etc) would have done?

Incredibly rude!

oh just remembered, one of my mum's mates had a grandchild at 45. Naice middle class professionals all of them.

Off now to kick back in my sheepskin slippers, slip into a pair of elasticated slacks and crack out the Sherry.

I'm expecting to get this myself- had ds 4 years ago at 40.

My cousin who's a year older than me was really flattered that someone thought she was her 3 yo grandaughter's mum!

Aww, agree you could have been a 44 yr old mum or grandma BUT she should surely have been more sensitive than that and risked "Mum?" and left you to correct to Grandma if necessary. Poor you, I would have been gutted too - I am also 44 and not grey yet, oddly, and was gutted when I went to the Silver Screen showing at or local cinema recently (as film was showing at a convenient time, and was in no way trying to get the cheaper ticket + biscuit for over 50s) and no one challenged me - sooooob!!

My mum was a grandmother before she was 40. Someone once asked if me & my mum were sisters. I was a bit like

at slacks

Well when I was 21 and in full youth mode, some chump said 'hello son, can you help me'.

When I lost weight, everyone started asking me if I was preggers.

Don't worry hun, you is boootiful, I am sure.

She probably just wanted to know how she should refer to you.

Plus - a lot of mums work these days, and family often help out with childcare - so there will be grannies taking children for their jabs. It will be common.

So yeah - she just wanted to know who you were I guess.

I think you just need to accept that mid forties you could well be a grandma.

Claudia- try not to think on it too much. I am an Health care support worker on a children's ward and where i work before any sort of invasive procedure (operations, injections, canula insertions and the like) are carried out on a child i it good practice to establish the person consenting to said procedure has consent to do so by either having parental consent by being the parent or by other means (court ordered).
This is obviously to cover themselves for complaints but saying are you granny is a bit rude- would have been better to say are you mum, then think how good you would feel if you were in fact granny!

One of my brother's flatmates thought I was his mum. I'm 4.5 years older than him at 28.

A Chinese woman on the bus asked if I was my daughter's granny. I was 38 at the time. I put it down to cultural differences but was fuming

Not allowing the father to consent is very insulting. I usually take mine for their jabs but once dh took dd2 and they didn't query it. I think they do expect it to be one of the parents, rather than a granny or childminder.

YANBU!

I took my baby to a local garden centre a few weeks ago and the woman behind the counter asked if she was my granddaughter , then tried to excuse herself by saying she never knew I had been pregnant. I'm 34!!! (I guess that trumps you being asked ).

x-posted with everyone but (and yes I know I've got a bee in my bonnet cos it will happen to me), just because the numbers add up doesn't make it an ok thing to say. By that reasoning, no 32 year old should be offended to be asked if they are their baby's granny - cos that could totally happen and I was at school with a couple of girls who had babies at 16, so if their babies had babies at 16, they'd be grannies at 32. So - fine!!

No - rude!!

sends self for a lie-down

In the city I live in we recently had a 26-year old nana, and someone I work with has just become a nana at 31. I was asked by a member of job centre staff the other day if I was my cousin's mam - admittedly I'd just finished night shift, but she's 21 and I'm 31!!!

My mum was 49 when I had DD, but looks really good for her age, and when out people would think she was DD's mum.

It used to really bloody annoy me as I was 28 so not exactly a gym slip mum.

That is rude.

But, I read somewhere that the average age for a first-time gran in the UK is 48. It sounded quite low to me, but may be correct.

Someone the other day thought I was DH's mum. I am three years older than him!

No one's saying it's wrong for health professionals to check someone actually is a child's parent/legal guardian if they need to. But there are surely better ways to do that than saying 'granny or mum?'