AIBU to think this was a bit inappropriate for work?

[OrangeFireandGoldashes]

I've been on a training course this morning with other senior/middle managers from the company. All internal staff with an external trainer. We are a male-dominated industry and that was reflected in the split of delegates: six men, two women.

One of the "ice breakers" was that old chestnut, tell us something nobody else in the room knows about you. There were various things - appeared on local TV, did a parachute jump for charity, was an extra in a Bond movie, is terrified of clowns since reading "It", that sort of thing - then it was the other woman's turn and she said "I used to write erotic fiction when I was younger."

There was a bit of an awkward silence, one or two of the men raised their eyebrows/made a "oo-er" sort of face --and the trainer said "well, that's the first time I've heard that answer" and moved on quickly to the next person. For the rest of the morning there was the odd double entendre aimed at her from one of the blokes in particular which she just laughed off.

I'm quite a fan of well-written (ie not the 50 Shades crap) erotic fiction but, well, in private. AIBU to think it's not the sort of thing you announce on a training course to identify future company directors? And doesn't help us women to be taken seriously as same Or an I just a middle-aged fuddy-duddy old prude?

Its not something I would personally reveal but hey ho

I don't think her answer was inappropriate, but the male colleagues reaction was.

Why shouldn't she mention it? Sounds like she handled the responses well.

Bit inappropriate. Mind you, I hate those stupid ice breakers on courses. They're as bad as all the role playing.

Agree with scentednappyhag.

Nothing to be ashamed of. I assume you were all adults?

Perhaps the male colleague was a bit inappropriate, however.

Oh that´s a good one.

They aren´t necessarily all true, are they?

I find this funny. Maybe she had been at these things too many times before and wanted to liven things up.

I think " i write fiction when younger" would have been better. She has left herself open to jokes but if she can handle it fine.

Wish that I'd thought of that when on those shit 'Team Building' thingies.So glad that I've retired and never,ever have to go somewhere that requires ' loose clothing and a sense of humour' < boak >

why inappropriate?

If she had said 'I shag ponies' now that would have been inappropriate.

Not inappropriate as it's not illegal, it's a perfectly legitimate way of making money.

The fact that the blokes thought that left her open to double entendres frankly says more about them than her.

I guess I just work on the principle you keep sex out of the workplace. And that you have to think a bit about the image you project once you become a manager.

But I appreciate that I'm probably BU and a bit outdated. Or maybe just jealous that I didn't think of something similarly interesting and less boring than my dull offering .

Maybe not inappropriate more unnecessary. Maybe tis the most interesting thing about her. I agree it doesn't help women to be taken seriously in a male dominated industry by bringing up the 'erotic' nature of her writing. I imagine she was trying to liven it up and be a bit saucy - bit desperate iyam.

I agree the responses sound more inappropriate than her mentioning it.

(I hate those courses too, and the 'ice-breakers' are always excruciating anyway.)

YANBU - it shows her to be an attention seeker. Not necessary in a work meeting at all.

I agree with 'ice-breakers' - they make me want to bolt.
If she didn't want to seek attention she would have just said that she used to be a writer of fiction.

I agree with youcanringmybell. She would have known that telling people she used to write erotic fiction would create a stir so she brought the inappropriate comments on herself. And I don't really view a couple of oo-ers and raised eyebrows as inappropriate. It's just a bit of banter

I agree with DoMeDon and think it won't help her (and maybe women in general) be taken seriously in the workplace. Surely she could have mentioned something else, and there is more to her than erotic fiction? I'm definitely no prude but there's a time and a place, and if I were her I would've made something up to appear a little more serious and less "sexy office female".

God MN feels like it's been invaded by the Mary Whitehouse Appreciation Soceity today.

Why shouldn't she mention it? It's nothing to be ashamed of and the whole point of the exercise is to reveal something shocking/surprising/amusing.

why is she an attention seeker?

Well I would be quite impressed that someone had (presumably) had something they had written published and perhaps this is why she mentioned it.

Don't think it is inappropriate really.

I think in this scenario people often feel pressured to think of something interesting or out of the ordinary.

Out of interest, how would you have felt if one of the men on the course had announced that he used to be a Chippendale?

No inappropriate at all, she's obviously proud of her work so why not mention it.

I don't think it's a bad thing either. She can tell people if she likes. I wouldn't have been happy about the men saying stupid sexual things though.

did she lie?