AIBU to think this was a bit inappropriate for work?

[OrangeFireandGoldashes]

I've been on a training course this morning with other senior/middle managers from the company. All internal staff with an external trainer. We are a male-dominated industry and that was reflected in the split of delegates: six men, two women.

One of the "ice breakers" was that old chestnut, tell us something nobody else in the room knows about you. There were various things - appeared on local TV, did a parachute jump for charity, was an extra in a Bond movie, is terrified of clowns since reading "It", that sort of thing - then it was the other woman's turn and she said "I used to write erotic fiction when I was younger."

There was a bit of an awkward silence, one or two of the men raised their eyebrows/made a "oo-er" sort of face --and the trainer said "well, that's the first time I've heard that answer" and moved on quickly to the next person. For the rest of the morning there was the odd double entendre aimed at her from one of the blokes in particular which she just laughed off.

I'm quite a fan of well-written (ie not the 50 Shades crap) erotic fiction but, well, in private. AIBU to think it's not the sort of thing you announce on a training course to identify future company directors? And doesn't help us women to be taken seriously as same Or an I just a middle-aged fuddy-duddy old prude?

i bet she embarrassed the men. perhaps that was what she wanted.

Was she telling the truth?

I am going to have to be subjected to an icebreaking session on a training day tomorrow.

The course is being run by amateurs the spectacularly inept Student Union.

I know most of the people on it, including my DP!
I just know the icebreaking bit is going to be a farce!

(But perhaps I am pre-judging?! Must keep and open mind, must keep an open mind ...)

LOVE cheesesarnies response and totally agree with it!

I think its an entirely legitimate answer. I think the males' responses a bit tiresome and that would make me think a lot less of them than her.

Don't see anything wrong with her answer personally.

So she should hide it should she? She should be ashamed?
The mans reaction was inappropriate not her answer.

Well as it was a work environment (the fact it is male just means she will be at the end of endless jokes), I think it has done her a really big disservice, especially when the aim of the training is to identify future company directors

Not an issue about being prude, or that she should feel ashamed about it. Just not the place to talk about anything like this.

I have seen something like this happening in some networking group (business owners meeting up on a regular basis). Quite a lot of them refused to have any contact/give any business to a very good photographer on the basis that he was doing 'nudes' (amongst a lot of other things that were extremely professional). The fact he mentioned it in that context was considered inappropriate. (They were all men btw except myself) So I can easily imagine that that sort of comment will be seen as inappropriate by higher management and that it has done no good what so ever to her career.

No not an issue that a woman made a comment like this, more tha fact that sort of comment doesn't belong to the workplace.

its not the sort of thing to mention in those circs least of all because it sounds very naff.

Its not something I would have shared, but then I am a bit uptight about what I share with work colleagues/contacts tbh

But icebreakers are the devils own work and people panic about what to say. Fortunatly my german colleagues counteract the americans in these things

I run courses and use a similar icebreaker. They are much less formal courses and not work related and no one had ever given such an answer. I wish they would!

The best ones that I have to stifle a laugh at are things like 'I was Junior North East Samba Champion 1992'.

great answer - god are those group bonding things naff and DULL

i think it is inappropriate.

yeah wizard - they should! whereas everyone tries to think of something socially acceptable, not too revealing, mildly quirky .... meh

as is the telephone sex job.

It's nothing to be ashamed of - it takes skill! I guess choosing to reveal it or not depends in the industry you work in. Everyone in my (entirely male) office knows - and is highly amused by - the fact that I used to write erotica for a living while at university - but then, that's my job, I'm a copywriter!
Additionally, I had known my colleagues for 6 months before the subject came up and by then we had established a brotherly, bantering relationship - I probably wouldn't have chosen to reveal it to a room full of mostly men I didn't know, especially if it had no relevance to the job or industry.

I'd say inappropriate to be honest and would be very surprised if one of my team - male or female - came out with something like that on a training course.

Also, I suspect that everyone will forget what people said after a while, apart from her response. Who on earth would want to be known as 'the woman who used to write porn' in a male dominated industry. Its just foolish and puts in another barrier for you not to be taken seriously.

I don't see anything wrong with saying it. It's deliberate attention seeking but no worse than that.

Well I myself can be a bit of a middle aged fuddy duddy old prude. But even I can't think there was anything wrong with this woman saying this. I think it shows enterprise and some writing skills. (Though some might disagree with the latter!) Good for her I'd say.

do you not think she was taking the piss as those ice breakers are so excruciating?

I mean she certainly broke the ice!

Would also depend if the fiction was juvenile rubbish or worth reading I suppose...

that's what I thought ethel! I might have to bear it in mind

"I think it has done her a really big disservice, especially when the aim of the training is to identify future company directors"

It is more inappropriate to rope people into silly ice breakers without explaining the purpose of the training. its like a really, really terrible unfair interview.

Personally I find her answer less embarrassing than admitting you're terrified of clowns, although I know it's quite common and I bet it was the OP