AIBU to think this was a bit inappropriate for work?

[OrangeFireandGoldashes]

I've been on a training course this morning with other senior/middle managers from the company. All internal staff with an external trainer. We are a male-dominated industry and that was reflected in the split of delegates: six men, two women.

One of the "ice breakers" was that old chestnut, tell us something nobody else in the room knows about you. There were various things - appeared on local TV, did a parachute jump for charity, was an extra in a Bond movie, is terrified of clowns since reading "It", that sort of thing - then it was the other woman's turn and she said "I used to write erotic fiction when I was younger."

There was a bit of an awkward silence, one or two of the men raised their eyebrows/made a "oo-er" sort of face --and the trainer said "well, that's the first time I've heard that answer" and moved on quickly to the next person. For the rest of the morning there was the odd double entendre aimed at her from one of the blokes in particular which she just laughed off.

I'm quite a fan of well-written (ie not the 50 Shades crap) erotic fiction but, well, in private. AIBU to think it's not the sort of thing you announce on a training course to identify future company directors? And doesn't help us women to be taken seriously as same Or an I just a middle-aged fuddy-duddy old prude?

my mate got chatted up by a clown in full costume

She wasn't being inappropriate. I'd be pissed off at the male colleague(s) who aimed double entendres at her, not at her. Would have expected the trainer to stamp that out sharpish. I'd be tempted to complain to the training company actually.

ninah, tell us more!

"so she brought the inappropriate comments on herself."-good Lord above!

family fun day, bouncy castle, clown wanted some family fun too
she wouldn't take his number, sadly

Ice breaker team building shit is what is unreasonable. Her response was not, the reaction was. It's not as if she announced she had been a porn star, just wrote erotic fiction.

YANBU. It's not professional to mix business and pleasure.

I just assume that everyone lies on ice-breaker things like that... I know I do!

I thought the whole point of an icebreaker like that is that you say something that isn't 'professional' or business-related?

That's kind of why I hate them though, aside from being awkward and naff. The things no-one at work knows about me, are precisely the things that are none of their business, I never have a clue what to say.

"I never have a clue what to say."-you do now

No one else thinking of Gareth in the Office?

I have often used "I have crabs" in those sessions. With only a small pause before adding that they live in my husbands tropical fish tank!

I suppose I have just outed myself if any of you have ever had to endure any of those wanky courses with me.

"you say something that isn't 'professional' or business-related?"

Yes OK, but within reason though, surely? Most appropriate to pick something mild I'd have thought. It's an icebreaker, not a competition to be the most outrageous person.

A new starter at our office, a woman in her mid-thirties, told us she used to be a stripper in Amsterdam. None of the children men took her at all seriously from that point on. It was a shame because she was a lovely woman and competent in her job, but when they looked at her all they thought was 'stripper, hehehe'.

Attention seeking on her part...it would my guess that she has read saying this on some website somewhere is a good way of flirting with men. Of all the things you could reveal about yourself, all your achievements in life...!

In fact, she didn't say she had been published, or made money out of it, simply that she had written it...doesn't ring quite true.

Orange, I must be a fuddy duddy too because I cannot think of a constructive reason for mentioning this is a corporate setting. Personally I love reading erotica, but it ain't on the list of hobbies on my CV!

In theory I don't think it was an inappropriate response - she's entitled to say what she wants.

Personally, I wouldn't have offered it up in a million years for fear of not being taken entirely seriously, even at a subconscious level, by those who knew.

Irrational maybe. But you can see that some of the others now - rightly or wrongly - think she is a bit or a joke.

I'd have probably have had to stifle my giggles! It's a bit of an odd and somewhat forthright thing to say, but I wouldn't have been offended by it in anyway.

Is there a list of things you are allowed to mention at these tedious things then?

I wasn't offended, just thought it was an error of judgement to reveal something linked to sex in a professional setting. We're an extremely traditional family firm (been going since 18th century) so our corporate culture isn't "let it all hang out".

I wasn't the clown-fearer btw, I was far more boring even than that (appeared on local TV as a teenager).

Hardly as if she said she used to be an escort.......sadly the men's reactions said it all..