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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School photo

91 replies

Piplysmelie · 12/09/2012 12:30

My DD started Reception this week and yesterday she came out of school with an informative leaflet for parents. The leaflet had a group photo on the front page of all the children in my dd class. My issue is that my daughter in sitting there in the front row with her skirt rucked up to her waist with legs akimbo. AIBU to think this is an entirely inappropriate photo for the school to have taken let alone sent out to parents. The leaflet will sit on people's fridges for the term as it has important dates in and may well be shown around family and friends. TBH it makes me feel slightly ill to think my dd is being viewed in this position by gods knows who.

If you have any suggestions on how to deal with this at the school I would appreciate it.

OP posts:

Lolwhut · 13/09/2012 08:35

I would be a little irritated but more because it was a bad shot rather than the fact she was showing her knickers and tummy. I might drop a note, very polite and low key.
So YANBU to be irritated by it. YABU to feel ill about it.

Ilovedaintynuts · 13/09/2012 08:39

YANB that U.

I wouldn't like seeing my DD like that.

I would be disappointed that the staff had not found it inappropriate.

A similar thing happened to a friend if mine as an adult.
At a wedding she went to the group photo of the congregation she was at the back with her entire left tit exposed. Her dress had twisted somehow and she hadn't realised. When she saw the photos she asked the bride to get rid of this photo but she refused saying it was the only good photo of the entire congregation!
Years later she can laugh about it and even has a copy of the photo on her wall. She tells people if they can see what is wrong with the picture. I took ages to see when she showed me and then - OMG!

gladders · 13/09/2012 09:55

YABU!

small child showing knickers in photo on newletter to parents - no biggie IMO

that anyone would think this was unladylike/inappropriate.

unlucky yes but it is just a termly newsletter.....

relax - sweating the small stuff will make for a very bumpy ride through her school carerr

Dancergirl · 13/09/2012 10:57

sirzy and whois why do we then so make so much fuss about infant children having the right PE kit if they can just do it in their underwear? Would you like to see a return to the 70s when doing indoor PE in vest and knickers was the norm?

amck5700 · 13/09/2012 11:54

Would you like to see a return to the 70s when doing indoor PE in vest and knickers was the norm?

personally it wouldn't bother me if that was the case for infants. Pants and vest are are least as covered as a child would be if you take them swimming or to a beach. Both of those situations are in far more public an area than in a school gym hall with one or two adults in whom you trust with your childs safety every day.

bobbledunk · 13/09/2012 11:54

No I'm not being sarcastic, I'd be livid if my child was exposed to the public like that, if anyone displayed mine in such a manner there would be hell to pay for everyone involved. They wouldn't do it again.

I don't care how little respect other people have for their own children or how careless they are with their image, they don't have the right to degrade other peoples kids.

Anyone stupid enough to send out a photo of a young child spreadeagled with their skirt over their waist shouldn't be working with children. That is not acceptable.

honeytea · 13/09/2012 11:58

If you are that worried wouldn't you just dress the child in trousers? I'm not sure why little girls need to wear skirts anyway, it just limits what they can do.

bobbledunk · 13/09/2012 12:07

Honeytea; It's sad that any kid has to have their wardrobe limited for fear of adults taking and sending out inappropriate pictures of them. The school is in the wrong, why are you blaming the parent? She wasn't to know that people could be that moronic and disrespectful. This picture is still out there no matter what she chooses to dress her child in from now on. The damage is done.

ATailOfTwoKitties · 13/09/2012 12:11

Hey ho. At least she had knickers on. Not that I ever got a call from school asking to bring a pair in as DD appeared to have forgotten them, oooh no

honeytea · 13/09/2012 12:28

The thing is people see the child in an "undignified" pose even if there isn't a photo taken of it. To the child there is nothing wrong with sitting like that, it is only adults perspective that makes it wrong. By the time OP's DD is old enough to realise knickers on display is not ok the photo will be long forgotten and chucked in the bin.

The problem I have with little girls in skirts is that adults want them to be ladylike but that limits the things they can do. If little girls wear skirts and it is just excepted that they will probably flash their knickers often then thats fine but if the girls are expected to sit with their knees together then skirts are limiting.

Sirzy · 13/09/2012 12:35

It's a class photo with a child sat in a slightly undesirable position, the way bobble is talking you would think the child was sat naked in a provocative pose.

It seems sad we are trying to make young girls paranoid about how they sit and therefore act simply because of the clothes parents decide to dress them in.

valiumredhead · 13/09/2012 12:39

We had this post recently, didn't we?

Do you mean she was sitting cross legged OP? I bet half the little girls were showing their knickers tbh - and what if they were?

DowntonTrout · 13/09/2012 12:42

Seems to me that while you may be disappointed that DDs first reception picture is not flattering, I imagine that it is not pornographic or even inappropriate.

I would put it safe in a box so that when she is 18 you can thoroughly enjoy teasing her with it at her 18th birthday party. By which time you will probably wonder why it bothered you so much and will more than likely even treasure it.

Dancergirl · 13/09/2012 12:45

I'm still trying to visualise how she was sitting. Was she trying to do box splits OP?

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 16:59

You can request that your DC isn't photographed in the future bobbledunk- every parent has that right- beyond that there is nothing you can do.

Snapper99 · 24/11/2012 15:02

Class group I did once. Parent had sent nursery child in very short skirt. You could just see her knickers on the photo. Dad went balistic. I had to clone the skirt and photoshop it to make it longer.

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