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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School photo

91 replies

Piplysmelie · 12/09/2012 12:30

My DD started Reception this week and yesterday she came out of school with an informative leaflet for parents. The leaflet had a group photo on the front page of all the children in my dd class. My issue is that my daughter in sitting there in the front row with her skirt rucked up to her waist with legs akimbo. AIBU to think this is an entirely inappropriate photo for the school to have taken let alone sent out to parents. The leaflet will sit on people's fridges for the term as it has important dates in and may well be shown around family and friends. TBH it makes me feel slightly ill to think my dd is being viewed in this position by gods knows who.

If you have any suggestions on how to deal with this at the school I would appreciate it.

OP posts:
omfgkillmenow · 13/09/2012 00:34

*their...I can spell that was a typo

SummerRain · 13/09/2012 00:42

When the president visited dds school her best friend was in the paper with her legs apart and a gaping hole in the crotch of her tights. Now that is going to have staying power! Grin

The school probably took 20 photo's and this was the best of a bad lot... Have you ever tried to photograph a group of small children? Just trying to keep them all together for the length of tome it takes to snap the pic can be nigh on impossible!

bobbledunk · 13/09/2012 00:47

yadnu, it sounds extremely inappropriate, the weirdos are the ones who think it acceptable to publicly display someone elses kid in a degrading manner. I'd be enraged and kick up stink over it. The idiot who's responsible should be fired, that may not happen but you should make them pay, give the creeps hell.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 07:22

Gosh, people are funny! I don't think anyone will think anything of it - it is a sad world where every 4yr old DD has to look 'ladylike' on a photo. They have years to look ladylike, if they wish, let them have a childhood first where you can have a photo that is just completely natural.

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 07:24

A complete overreaction bobbledunk!! Luckily people don't get fired over trivialities. (or maybe I am misreading your post and you are being sarcastic)

Extrospektiv · 13/09/2012 07:25

Exactly, 4 is too young to be pushing such standards on them, which is why most of the posters here think this is undue preciousness by OP.

Sirzy · 13/09/2012 07:26

Refusing permission for future photos? Wanting people fired? Wow talk about OTT, I dread to think how you two respond when something happens which is an actual issue!

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 07:29

I couldn't work out whether she was being serious or not- it was such a weird post!

Chopstheduck · 13/09/2012 07:35

YANBU to be peeved but I would take a deep breath and calm down before deciding to act on it.

Last year at dt1's nativity every time he sat down, it was crossed legs, his gown thing rode up and he fidgeted and wriggled and displayed his pants to the whole school. It certainly didn't make me feel nauseous but he did look a 'bit of a berk' and so I did mention it to the teacher at the end, with a sense of humour and not getting stressy about it.

Turned out he did have PE shorts on anyway (just it was year 2 and they were getting rather small!) and we both reminded him to close his legs for the next performance - job done!

Chopstheduck · 13/09/2012 07:36

Oh and he was Joseph so center stage and nto exactly inconspicuous!

PropositionJoe · 13/09/2012 07:36

If a small child takes six Swiss rolls, surely an adult puts five back and says "Just one each, sweetheart".

bringbacksideburns · 13/09/2012 07:41

How can you still be hung up on taking 6 swiss rolls twenty years later? Confused

scentednappyhag · 13/09/2012 07:44

Bobbledunk... Really?!

Dancergirl · 13/09/2012 07:46

YANBU

A question for those who think its ok: would you be happy for your dc to do PE in vest and knickers like we all did years ago?

whois · 13/09/2012 07:48

This is one of those thread where I realise a large number on people on MN are fucking precious loons who get upright about silly little things. Heaven forbid anything actually bad happens to your children or family!

The idea of a 5 year old being 'degraded' and not 'ladylike' just because her pants are on show (i assume she had had pants on show when swimming?) is rediculos. You are projecting your own shame onto your innocent child. Very, very sad.

Flying spaghetti monster, why didn't your parents tell the itchy 6 year old to put the Swiss rolls back? At 6 children can become over excited and need reminding of manners for things like that. And again, you are projecting your own adult ideas and shame of 'masturbating' onto a 6 year old who probably had thrush and was itchy. Not nice to have touching food, but better dealt with my saying 'hands out of there you'll make it worse, give them a wash before dinner'

whois · 13/09/2012 07:50

Dancer girl - yes up to a certain age like 7 or 8, and it was inside. Not so keen if it was outside sport!

Sirzy · 13/09/2012 07:50

Dancer, not a problem everything is covered so where is the issue?

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 07:56

There was a thread about PE and underwear last week and it is a huge issue for some people.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/09/2012 08:00

OP I don't think you are being unreasonable and I am Hmm at the people who have called you weird. Wtf?!

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 08:09

I was calling bobbledunk weird - not OP who is asking for opinions, not for people to be fired!!

exoticfruits · 13/09/2012 08:10

Goodness knows how bobbledunk will react with a real problem!

fluffyraggies · 13/09/2012 08:15

It's tricky to get a class of kids all looking reasonable in a pic - but not impossible. With digital cameras it takes seconds to see if everyone's looking half way decent in the picture and go again (and again) if not.

Of course each parent is going to look at their own child and see how they look. For this reason only i would have thought whoever took the snap would have told the child to sit up straight and given it another shot.

When you sign a consent form it's usually for 'images of your child to be captured and published... bla bla bla' for the whole year. So no, you don't get to see each picture before it's released. You have to rely on the school to be professional.

OP i don't think YABU actually.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/09/2012 08:19

i was in a photo like this but it was actually in the paper when i was 4, i was in the front row of a photo of all the kids from school and had stripy knickers on, we just thought it was rather amusing.

1charlie1 · 13/09/2012 08:27

I don't think YABU at all. On the front cover of a yearbook at a school at which I worked was a photo montage, one of which was an image of one of the junior girls (she was about 7 or 8) doing the backstroke. Her bathers were tightly fitting, and an outline of her private bits could be seen (covered with fabric, but still clear). I and other staff were amazed that the yearbook was sent out with that photo included. Had I been her mother, I would have been absolutely furious. I'm not aware that anything actually kicked off, but I would certainly not have been surprised. Just because someone is little does not mean their dignity should not be respected. I know it's trickier in a group shot, but could the photographer/ teacher not have said 'Sit up straight, straighten your skirts'? Even tiny kids know how to do that!

Feminine · 13/09/2012 08:34

flying your posts have made me very sad.

You still sound so angry...

It was a little girl.

op don't worry, I can see you are trying to spare yours/her blushes but I'll bet nobody really notices :)