To make DH sleep on the sofa

[igsisgreenngold]

Am just so tired and fed up. DH needs to leave the house at eight to get to work. He can dress quickly and often gets up at ten to eight. He sets his alarm for five past seven every day, and then snoozes while it goes off every four minutes until he finally gets up. I am wide awake from the first time it goes off. We have argued over and over about this. He has made a change - he used to set it for ten to seven.
I am on ML with baby who is bf and wakes between two and five times a night. I do all the wakenings. I can't lie in after he goes to work as I have Ds to get up and do school run with. Every minute of sleep is precious to me, and I'm so angry I "waste" 40 mins of sleep each morning.
AIBU to ask him to sleep on the sofa till he changes this habit, or am I being petty?

Meant to add baby is four months, so haven't had a decent sleep in quite a while.

When this happened to me we made an agreement that he would then get ONE snooze and then had to get up. I would suggest that as reasonable....or its the sofa

Uhm....not quite sure if UABU or not....if you are on ML, could you not go back to bed (or doze on the sofa) after the school run, or try and catch up on some sleep when your DC is asleep?

He's being selfish if he knows he won't get up until 7:50 every morning. Also, 10 mins to get ready for work?! No shower/brushing teeth etc?
I'd change his alarm once he fell asleep I think.

We have a similar issue - I don't mind a bit of snoozing, but that much is really taking the piss. Irrelevant whether you're on mat leave or not IMO - you've got other kids to sort out for school run.

How about suggesting he sets 2 alarms - one to go off at 7:15 ish and then another at 7:45 - at least then you might get half an hour dozing before he has to get up.

..and at a baby that will sleep through that and gets up that late! DS woke at 4:30 every single effing morning.

I would do what he does if left to myself. I don't think it's fair to inflict it on another person, though. It's really irritating, if you're trying to sleep, to be jerked awake every few minutes for no reason.

I agree the idea of having him press snooze once then no more would be a good compromise.

mmm maybe set alarm later or have a cuppa in bed for the 40 mins and chat etc so some quality time together. Could you not nap in day ? I think YABU to make him sleep on sofa as he is at work all day.

I have the same issue. YANBU. Give him one snooze!

Leave the bastard.

Thank you all for replies.
imnotmymum if I could get him to set it later I wouldn't be complaining! He would not want a chat, he wants to sleep.
If I did manage nap later in the day, wouldn't that be to make up for all the times the baby has me up, rather than the time his dad wakes me for? The baby can't help it, dh could!
Bobs, how did you get him to actually do it though?
I like the two clock suggestion Cumberdick. Thing is, if I asked him when he plans to get up, he will always say straight after the alarm. But he never ever does.

I'd launch the alarm clock out the fucking window then.. but I'm not the most rational person when I've been repeatedly woken up at night

(DP sleeps on the sofa when he has an early start, or we both need a decent nights sleep.. probably safer for him )

Sounds like I need to grow a pair!
When I put foot down he will say if I'm that unhappy I should leave. (somewhat pa, my dh)

He sounds charming

oooh, I think that is a slightly bigger problem than just the alarm.
If he responds to a reasonable request with 'you should leave' then he is, for example, an arse :(

people who love each other do KIND things to help each other.
being an arse isn't kind.

Good Luck igsis

What if you mention an alarm clock change "you should leave then????" Just change it yourself to 20 mins before or whatever sounds unreasonable not to compromise.

move the alarm clock to your side of the bed, tell him you will hit snooze once, next time you will switch it off. If he then doesn't get up on time, his problem, ask him if he would like the time changed of his first alarm.

Also, he is being very rude doing this, he is making your life harder for something that does not benefit him, it's not showing any sort of care for you.

I was a snooze offender pre-baby. DH and I had a deal that he would wake me up properly at the time I needed to be awake. One small alarm noise alone would never wake me up.

No YANBU! I have had this argument with my DP so much over the years too. This morning his alarm went off at 5:30am! He didn't get up til gone 6. At the moment I'm ok with it as I can get back to sleep and am up at 7 anyway to go to work. But I'll be on mat leave soon so things will have to change!

Your DH sounds very out of order telling you to leave if you don't like it

I would have thought he could set it for 7.30 tbh

If he often gets up at ten to eight-does he not shower or breakfast?

Norks you are quite right. Not enough kindness. I think there's a bit of competitiveness tiredness going on, who is doing the most etc. The early months with a baby are always tricky, and I'm not always the most pleasant person. BUT I still thing he could change this specific thing.
When we were on holiday (school holidays) he got up with ds every morning so I could sleep until whenever the baby woke. But he is being an arse with the alarm I agree. Only fair as he sleeps through the night (DH, not baby).
I think he would sleep better too if the alarm went off later! I am in bed first so I'd have to get up in the night to alter the time - guess I could do it during a feed, but would rather reach a mature agreement if at all possible!

diddl - he has a bath at night, and I think toast goes with him in the car!

TBH I'm with your DH on this one.
To feel reasonable sane I need to have several snooze calls before I get up. He has compromised with you and set the alarm later than the original time.

I sympathise he sounds just like my DP. He could sleep all day, sleep through anything and while I'm awake for the full hour that he's snoozing he sleeps until 5 minutes before he needs to leave then stresses he can't find anything. I just wish he'd try my quick shower, breakfast, drink and relax that wakes me up far more than snoozing. I'm a reformed snoozer myself.
I'd make him sleep on the couch if you know it'd work, my DP needs his phone on a solid surface as its only the vibration and me swearing to turn his fucking alarm off that wakes him up.

Does he also wake up in the night or generally sleep through?

Another non snoozer here as well.

I´d rather be sleeping for another half hr than "dozing" whilst the alarm goes off every 4mins-doesn´t that annoy the hell out of him?

When that starts-how long does it go on for?

I agree that if nothing else, that needs to be limited to a couple of times only.

The alarm gets increasingly loud until he hits the button. It goes off ten times in forty minutes. Today he had also set his phone, which went off with some loud music.
When working I'd hit snooze once, or twice on a bad day.