to ask why some parents have to speak to the class teacher every morning?

[MarysBeard]

Especially when the general rule is to communicate via the reading book, the office if a routine matter, or if you must, to speak to the teacher at the end of the school day, and if it's something that takes more than five minutes, make an appointment.

I would expect it in reception, but by Year 3 surely parents should know not to be standing around monopolising the teachers' attention in the morning, delaying the children getting into school. Also (apart from in reception) the kids are meant to line up and the parents stand behind some cones after the bell has gone. Yet some parents still hang around the lines of kids after the bell has gone, sometimes getting in the way of the lines of kids getting into school. It's always the same people you see doing both, in spite of repeated reminders in the newsletters. I often feel sorry for the teaching staff in the mornings & wish that some parents would just let them get on with it (as most do!)

We are in preschool that is based in the main school.

Every parent seems to be a drop and run kind of parent :o

Pag I am sure that there are people that just notice, but there have also been people on this thread who have said these parents are

needy
attention seeking
lonely
pushy
over protective
bitches

which all sound kind of judgy.

My DD has high anxiety levels and suffers panic attacks and all sorts of other really fun things, I need to update teacher on ALOT of mornings.
Deal with it.

There have been several threads about this with the new academic year, which have evoked strong emotions.

Why does other parent's behaviour get under people's skin so much?

Some people in my dd's Y1 class check in with the teacher most days, some not and I can honestly say it's never crossed my mind as something I might have an opinion about until I read these threads.

I haven't clapped eyes on ds' teacher this yr yet.

thestringcheesemassacre, nobody's got a problem with parents who have genuine concerns and need to speak to the teacher.

There are some parents as LaQueen points out who are just gossipy old witches busy bodies. They're usually not very nice people either.

One person's genuine concern could be another person's gossiping and attention seeking.

If you don't know the full facts who are you to judge what is necessary?

Parent A's daughter might be seriously stressed and unable to learn for the whole day if she doesn't have the right water bottle. Parent B's son may not give two hoots. It would therefore not be reasonable for B to approach the teacher about it at the beginning of the day but be very important that A did.

I was one of those parents up to this September, one of my DCs had problems and I needed to "touch base" with his teachers most morning, it was made harder as he also had 2 form teachers as they were job sharing, and information often had to be relayed twice! Now they are at High School, and the problem hasn't just miraculously disappeared, but communication now a little more difficult by phone and email, but I have already found that this is often a little too late to help, and a problem has occurred before I can get the info across and prevent escalation!

You all have very accommodating teachers. In my youngest's school, the HT strides through the playground five minutes before the final bell shouting "time to leave now parents". Anyone not moving quickly enough gets briskly escorted to the gate. She's only just short of applying cattle prods, but it works!

Oh, and yes, I was in the PTFA, in fact Chairperson for 2 yrs, but that was because I felt I should support the school as they were supporting my DS!

floggingmolly I'm coming to your school!

Rosebud

I think sometimes other parents' behaviour gets up noses because:

a) it is rude
c) has an effect on the child of the pushy parent.One person I'm thinking of produced anxiety in their children from their own anxiety, a second was so negative and critical that her child would make unfounded complaints about other children in order to get his mum's attention.

"One person I'm thinking of produced anxiety in their children from their own anxiety"

Are you a qualified child psychologist who took a detailed history and completed an in depth assessment of the dynamics in this family?

If not, how can you possibly think you are in a position to level such an accusation?

I hope to goodness you never said it out loud!

Gold - yes, I am a qualified Clinical Psychologist. And no, this was my personal opinion, of course not shared.

And not an accusation. Certainly not an accusation against you.

PS. I was not working with this child, just in case you are concerned about confidentiality

Why does other parent's behaviour get under people's skin so much?

Because occasionally I would like a word first thing too, but it's a pain because I can see the regulars already queueing & then I think "oh Sod it"; DC will just have to cope with whatever the problem is, I can't expect teacher to have any brain space left for remembering my concerns are, anyway.

LaQueen

I've not been above doing it myself at times. And of course a vicious cycle can develop.

"Gold - yes, I am a qualified Clinical Psychologist. And no, this was my personal opinion, of course not shared."

So you really think you can make a diagnosis by observing from a distance without talking to those involved, without knowing the full facts and without even hearing all of the conversations with the teachers?

I know people can be judgy on MN but this thread takes the biscuit!

Goldmandra - you are right, I could have been mistaken in this case and should not have written with such certainty.

But it does happen, and it's frustrating to see that a child who has a good chance of settling well in time, is being undermined by their parent's understandable, but excessive worry (and the parent voicing that worry in front of the child).

I wrote earlier in the thread that it will open people's eyes to the various reasons why parents need to talk to the teacher frequently. I am very sympathetic to that and I apologise for upsetting you.

Apology accepted . Thank you

I'm sure it does happen occasionally but, even if it was for the benefit of the parent rather than the child, I would always assume that there was a reason behind that anxiety rather than describe them as so many have on this thread.

I know many parents of children with ASD who do everything in their power to help their child cope in school, focussing on the positives, keeping cheerful and optimistic in front of the child, trying to anticipate and manage potential problems without a fuss, working incredibly hard just to get there child there each day,.....only to be accused of creating the child's anxiety just as you described. I was in that position at one point myself and it was soul destroying.

I hope you're right and this thread has made some people realise that, although they cannot easily see it, there could well be very good reasons behind what appear to be trivial conversations.