AIBU to want to buy my child one item of clothing?

[Spinity]

I strongly suspect that many people will tell me to be more grateful and I can see that point of view.

My parents and PIL have bought ALL of my daughter's clothes since she was born. She is now 3.5 yrs. I can count 5 outfits that I have personally chosen to dress her in. She never wears clothes that are to my taste because I don't ever get to choose them. In her drawers/wardrobe currently are NO items that I have chosen at all.

I'm expecting next baby in a few weeks and have already been gifted lots of neutral newborn stuff, despite me saying that we have tonnes of usable neutrals from first child. both sets of parents are now waiting for the baby to be born so they can choose 'lots of lovely boy/girl things' (their words).

AIBU to feel a little sad that I have no say in what my children wear? For three years+?

Just buy her stuff then.

Appreciate that but she has so much stuff gifted that it's a complete waste. She diesn't even get through all the clothes she has. Have kindly asked people to stop buying stuff as she has so much.

sorry but I don't understand why you don't just buy stuff and only use the gifted stuff when the GP are seeing the kids, OR suggest going shopping together so you can steer the choices.

Why don't you buy her stuff then? I'd go as far as to say something to your parents and PIL - they are robbing you of enjoying shopping/dressing your children - it's generous of them, but not if you're unhappy about it.

Ok. Could you sneakily sell stuff (ideally with the tags on) or return items and swap them for things that you like?

you don't have a say about what they GIVE
you do have a say in what your kids wear
what's to stop you from popping your kids in the gift clothes for thank you photos, but day to day putting them in clothes you buy? nothing! (other than your budget!)

so if you can afford it, buy what you like and put them in that and say thank you very much for the generous gifts then back-of-the-wardrobe them

• unless you CAN'T afford to kit the children out yourself and are REALLY wanting your ILs and family to buy gifts which are exactly what you would buy- which would be UR!

take the half of the given stuff back and get a credit note then choose your own :) That way at least they'll see them wear some of it and not question it.

Why don't you take it back and change it? You might not get the full value without the reciept by you will get a credit note.

I confess to buying lots for my DGC but I consult first!

Ask your parents and PIL for vouchers or go shopping with them. I am hopeful someone in your family would be happy for you to have a say in the clothes your child wears. Or ask for receipts and swap things bought for things you would choose.

Be greatful that you are being given clothes and go out and buy ones you would choose - best of both worlds surely?

Appreciate the comments! The sheer quantity of gifted stuff from GP's is prohibitive- I can't fit more stuff in her drawers! I do feel desperately ungrateful but cheated out of the enjoyment of dressing my own children in what I like, specially since the next one is heading down the same path already per-birth. Have asked repeatedly for no more clothes!!

I had this too. Return it or ebay if you cba.

take the whole lot to the charity shop, go on, all of it. Then take her shopping and pick lots of lovely things. Then when baby comes go and buy lots of great things for it. Don't put anything on them that has been bought by others, they'll soon get the hint.

Of course you have a say in what your child wears.

Choose. Buy. Dress.

if its that much then they can't possibly remember every item, so sell half/give it to a women's shelter and pop them in on of "their" items for family visits so they'll never know

*pre-birth :)

Go shopping with them, your own DM or DF at the least and make comments... Oh, that is lovely, Oooo DD would love that. They'll get the message.

Or, eBay the stuff and buy what you like.

I'm in a similar situation and it does make me sad, but on the other hand feel so relieved at the money saved! DD has female cousins and a granny keen on knitting so we have been overwhelmed with second hand and home made outfits.

When it comes to the second hand clothes, I've filtered out the slightly older/more stained items, but lots of them are good as new.

I have been busy buying DD books and toys instead. Hopefully I'll get to pick out clothes for her too, eventually.
She is only 4 months so if I find in future years I'm getting lots of similar items, I'll make a point of discreetly telling family 'she hasn't got very many of X' or 'we already have plenty of Y but more Z are always useful' - if they ask, of course!

Thanks for comments, I am aware there are far worse problems to have in life

I got so much stuff when dd was born that I did take quite a lot of stuff that had tags on still and got a refund, usually in store vouchers. Every shop was really good about it could you do that with some of the things?

Take the stuff with tags on and exchange it for things you do like. If they say anything say Oh yes it didn't fit right/looked funny on/whatever you come up with. I took back stuff from my MIL as she and I had very different tastes, in the end we'd shop together and she would buy outfits I liked for Ds. then we'd eat lunch out and she was super happy.

I can't believe you're moaning about people being generous! I would love it if my family or my in laws bought clothes for my DCs!

We are in the same boat but I'm far from complaining about it.
DD has a birthday in July and then more at Christmas.
I have not bought that child one item of clothing or any shoes.

I could not be more grateful.

Should have mentioned, she just turned 3. So that's quite a lot of clothes and shoes.

Surely with DC2 you can thank them for their generosity to DC1 and say that you now have enough hand me downs to do both children and please please start a savings account for them before you run out of space.