AIBU to want to buy my child one item of clothing?

[Spinity]

I strongly suspect that many people will tell me to be more grateful and I can see that point of view.

My parents and PIL have bought ALL of my daughter's clothes since she was born. She is now 3.5 yrs. I can count 5 outfits that I have personally chosen to dress her in. She never wears clothes that are to my taste because I don't ever get to choose them. In her drawers/wardrobe currently are NO items that I have chosen at all.

I'm expecting next baby in a few weeks and have already been gifted lots of neutral newborn stuff, despite me saying that we have tonnes of usable neutrals from first child. both sets of parents are now waiting for the baby to be born so they can choose 'lots of lovely boy/girl things' (their words).

AIBU to feel a little sad that I have no say in what my children wear? For three years+?

I won't dress my DC in something I don't like - end of story. Luckily my family are the only people who really buy ckothes and they all have good taste, plus I can tell them if I don't like something (they'd know if I lied anyway lol!)

I feel for you though - my ILs always seem to buy my DC stuff (not clothes) that either isn't age appropriate or that I just wouldn't buy.

I see where you're coming from. My mum and sister buy something for my DC every time they go shopping. In Tesco.

Now they do have some lovely stuff but I appear to have amassed the entire supermarkets spring/summer collection, not only for this year, but next year too because they were in the sale.

I am very very grateful to receive clothes for my DC, but I would love to help them choose and maybe guide them to different shops once in a while!

Anything but a flat out "do not buy any more clothes when you go food shopping" doesn't work, but I won't say that because it would hurt their feelings so I just put her in them for wearing round the house or mixing and matching with other things.

Example, I've just bought 4 sleeping bags for winter, told my mum. "Oh you should have said, I would have bought them" she says, "save your money" I say, "I hardly get to buy anything". 2 days later she turns up with 2 winter sleeping bags. 2 days after that she polls up with 2 more. So now I have 8.

I love that they care so much and are so involved, but like you I feel like I never buy anything either.

I've given in

Just say something. Be blunt (blunt and rude aren't the same thing) and just say 'Thank you so much for all the lovely things. We appreciate it, but it's too much. I'm their mum, I want to buy their clothes myself. I am grateful, but it needs to stop'.

If they carry on after that, just remind them that you've discussed this, and dont' accept any more stuff.

They still have labels on don't they? Just take them back to the shop and exchange the majority of them for something you prefer.

My dd is nearly 4 and I never have to buy her any clothes or shoes. I have bought her a couple of things because I liked them.

I managed to steer my IL's away from baby pink by telling them I think it looks like pyjamas on an older child they haven't bought baby pink since. We still get fuschia but I don't mind that so much.

Now to persuade dd that she can't wear party dresses everyday

You are not being unreasonable at all.

Just buy her clothes. Tell each set of patents that the others bought it.

*parents

Yep, I think if you've told the parents and ILs already that you don't like pink it's a bit rude of them to keep buying it. I'd just tell them it's not to my taste and give it back to them to return. I've been doing this a lot with my own PFB huge amounts of gifts.

Get them
Told and stop being such a walkover

You say, I don't need clothes but if you insist on getting something xxx would be appreciated thank you

Start saying 'oh have you got the receipt' lol

they give it they don't Have TO WEAR IT . you sound lovely and don't want to offend Grandparents but just buy your children clothes you like. be assertive and tell them they are buying her far too much and just buy her for christmas and birthdays ,