To let my 18 month old play in the garden without holding her hand.

[Dramajustfollowsme]

Just spent the afternoon with DH's extended family. The children were playing in the garden. And whilst I was with my dd incase she got too near the older children, I didn't hold her hand the whole time. I let her explore and play with her cousins.
I got a telling off from dsil for not holding her hand in case she fell. We were on flat grass, I was right beside her and she has been walking since she was 10 months old.
I also helped her up the stairs of the toddler chute but let her slide down herself. She was perfectly fine and really enjoyed it. However, my dfil gasped and made a huge fuss. I was right beside her and he chute is only about 50cm high.
I just couldn't see what was wrong with what I was doing but everyone else bar my dh thought I was out of order.
Dmil eventually tutted then took her hand, leading my dd away from me to "look after her properly!" I got really pissed off at that, took dd back and went inside to play with playdoh instead.

I think I'd have taken her home at that point.

Ridiculous behaviour from your F(amily)IL.

YANBU.

Gets on my wick the sort of barking parenting displayed by your relations

YANBU. She needs to learn to be independent, and she's been walking for eight months. Why on Earth would you have to hold her hand all the time?

YANBU

If your dd was unsteady then yes, hold her hand but flat grass and 8 months experience walking? let her do her own (supervised) thing.

Your inlaws are nuts.

Weird people! YANBU.
I don't hold DS's hand all the time and he's only been walking properly for a week! How do they think children learn balance if they're constantly supported by an adult?
Very rude of them re the 'looking after her properly' comment!

How pathetic! My 13month old dd was wandering around the park the other day without hand holding and she's only been walking for 2 months.

Huh? What on earth was their problem?

Thanks that's what I thought but in the face of so much protests I started to doubt myself.
My dd is a very independent little lady and would have hated me holding her hand all the time. Her favourite new word is self.
We took her home after dinner as their was more tutting at me letting her use her cutlery herself. "what if she pokes it in her eye?" This could be why my 9 year old niece still doesn't feed herself.

That's weird. DD2 is 18mo and she goes on the Big Slide at the park all by herself and directs all the older children [neglectful]

YANBU

Are you joking?

Do people honestly get treated like this by inlaws?

The MIL leading her away would have sent me into a rage.

Honestly, how do they think she survives when you're left alone with her?

Your IL's are completely nuts!! YADNBU

Why on earth do you need to hold her hand all the time. Your DD needs to be allowed to develop her confidence and independence. And what a horrible comment - I would have left at that point.

They would have had a fit if it was me and my 18 month old!

yanbu kids have to learn to explore their world and you were in a controlled environment.

Wierd

My 18mo DD plays in the garden while I'm sat with a brew! She's been walking since 14mo and does fall over sometimes but I thought that normal!

She wouldn't tolerate having her hand held the whole time and why should she when she wants to play?

how odd of your inlaws to behave like that and insulting to you as a parent. I think I'd have taken her home as someone else has suggested.

So what if she had fallen over on flat grass? Do your inlaws think a big black hole is going to swallow her up? Bizarre.

I feel sorry for their kids.

Bloody hell YANBU! They're absolute nutters. How do you make a child grow up weak and feeble? By treating them as if they are. I bet your DD is so confident and independent because you've given her every reason to feel so Stoopid in laws.

On many occasions I have been gobsmacked at how little independence and babied my nieces and nephews are but would never say anything because it isn't my place. However, I won't be raising my dd like that.

YANBU they are and rude and pushy

What does DH/P have to say about them?

I would have left and gone home! It's totally up to you how you parent your child, and it doesn't sound to me as though there's anything wrong with your parenting at all!

My parents are a bit like your in-laws, and tell me at playgrounds etc to hold my DS's hand. I ignore them

They'd burst into flame if they had to spend an afternoon with me and my DS. There is no way on earth my DS (now 20 months) would ever let me hold his hand (hence reins when out and about) and in the park he climbs on the huge climbing frame. I've had to rescue him a few times but mostly I just let him get on with it. He's been the same since he started walking at 13 months.

Their ideas aren't as much of an issue as their treatment of you however. It is extremely rude of them to comment on your parenting and to try to take your DD away. I would be absolutely fuming if my ILs did that to me.

Even when dc was unsteady on there feets being on flat grass I wouldn't have held there hands, but be right by there side.

YADNBU

When my DS2 was that age (younger actually) he was going up the stairs and down the BIG slide at our local rec on his own.

He seems to have survived (glances at very sporty 9yo watchign Paralympic ceremony as special Sunday-night treat - yep!)

It's nonsense to suppose you need to hold the hand of a toddler on level grass.

Eek! I let my 14mo wander round the garden unaided and there is no grass - just stone tiles, a couple of big steps and wooden decking! Your in-laws would have a heart attack!!
YADNBU