To let my 18 month old play in the garden without holding her hand.

[Dramajustfollowsme]

Just spent the afternoon with DH's extended family. The children were playing in the garden. And whilst I was with my dd incase she got too near the older children, I didn't hold her hand the whole time. I let her explore and play with her cousins.
I got a telling off from dsil for not holding her hand in case she fell. We were on flat grass, I was right beside her and she has been walking since she was 10 months old.
I also helped her up the stairs of the toddler chute but let her slide down herself. She was perfectly fine and really enjoyed it. However, my dfil gasped and made a huge fuss. I was right beside her and he chute is only about 50cm high.
I just couldn't see what was wrong with what I was doing but everyone else bar my dh thought I was out of order.
Dmil eventually tutted then took her hand, leading my dd away from me to "look after her properly!" I got really pissed off at that, took dd back and went inside to play with playdoh instead.

My dh agrees they are nuts but begs me not to say anything. Anyone who makes a comment usually gets shunned. Although they do his head in. He loves them dearly.
My dd is sooo independent that they will soon get the message. One of my nephews rebelled against the mollycoddling and they now let him get on with it. Although, seem to be convinced something terrible is going to happen to him all the time.
Their behaviour is one of the reasons they don't look after dd whilst I work. Our styles would clash all the time.

That is very disrespectfull to you and your style of parenting OP. Your DH needs to pull them up on their manners towards you.

I am gobsmacked at a 9yo not being allowed to use cutlery.. at that age most kids can actually cook a basic meal!

Dmil eventually tutted then took her hand, leading my dd away from me to "look after her properly!"

I disagree with your DH that it's better not to say anything. That comment from your dmil is shocking - undermining your parenting infront of everyone including your child. That's just not on. Especially when she is so clearly in the wrong. I think you should talk to him about it again!

Jesus. My toddlers were doing cartwheels at that age...Sounds like your rellies need some one-on-one time with your DC .

DS has been pottering about in our garden by himself since he learned to walk. 5 or 6 months on and he's climbing everything in sight. He's had no garden injuries so far - well, he fell in my mum's garden and scratched his arm, but nothing here.

There's no way I can watch him all the time, let alone hold onto him. He'd lose the plot if I tried to hold his hand every minute of the day!

Yadnbu op, and your Dh needs to stick up for you.

YANBU I think I'd have lamped anyone who took my child off me like that and said they would do a better job of taking care of them!

My son is 15 months and I only interfer in his time exploring in the garden when he's doing something to either hurt himself, someone else or general mischief. Otherwise I watch from my spot on the step. He climbs the steps to the slide alone as is his preference, whether in our garden or in the park and has been feedin himself successfully since he before he turned one. I never realised this was irresponsible of me and his dad DD who is 5 was treated the same and she survived.

Also I noticed in your OP that it was you getting a hard time but not your DH. Neither of you should have had to put up with this bullshit from your inlaws but why does it always seem to be the mum who has her parenting scrutinised by busybodies and not the dad?

agree with magichouse - she was undermining you in front of everyone inc. your child, what do they say about you when you're not there?

Blimey, your ILs are seriously strange. At that age my two were climbing up onto the big slide at the playground (yes, under supervision) and going down by themselves, toddling around the garden, going up and down stairs by themselves (again under supervision) and most certainly feeding themselves with their own cutlery. I remember being very when their nursery told me how wonderful that was as so few children that age could feed themselves...

And when DD2 was 2.5 she was climbing rocks taller than I was on beaches in Devon.

How will children learn to be careful if they are never allowed to take risks?

Madness my 15mo still isn't walking properly but plays in the garden by herself, while I make tea climbs up the stairs to the slide and likes to practice her walking on the platform at the top, which yes is terrifying to watching by she's clever enough to go between the bits with railings!! She also decided on Saturday I was taking to long getting up the steps to the huge slide to go down with so she'd just go herself! Again terrifying but she came to no harm!!

totally intentional attempt to try and put you down.

next time you go take a friend get her to look the part of a bodyguard but have a rucksack full of bandages ect and helicopter round your dd as if she were modonnas child blocking people from approach ect hand infront of cameras and other such celeb childs bodyguard type behaviour and say "it really troubled me just how unaware of danger i was last time i was here so i have employed freda here to guard her from all danger please dont interfere with her work,after all we cant possibly see all risk but she can shes a proffesional"
. if anybody even breathes in dc's direction get friend to start spraying detol in the air and bundle dd out of danger whilst yelling "jesus christ how could you be so stupid DO YOU NOT SEE THE RISK YOU JUST CREATED"

sit back and laugh. problem solved

They sound horribly stifling, how did your dh ever manage to leave home?

DS used to climb up the playground slide alone from 16 months or so. I was pleased at the agility.

They have to explore and take risks alone in an age appropriate way. It's really sad that they want to restrict their own kids like this, but to actually have the gall to say you should as well? Insane.

I'm prone to being anxious about daft things, but this is barking even for me! Your IL's were being ridiculous. What on earth's wrong with being allowed to walk by yourself at that age?! Sounds like your little girl had great fun, ignore them!