To think this woman was rude

[Pilchardnpoppy]

Hi, yesterday I walked into town with 2 year old dd in the Phil and Teds and 3 month old ds in his sling. It's probably about a mile walk, so not to far and I can manage it reasonably well, but it is tiring as dd and the buggy are heavy and I can't steer it as well as I could with out having ds in the sling. He's ok in the buggy if awake and well fed, but sleeps much better and for longer in the sling, so I use it for a happy life. Not moaning at all, just setting the scene.

Normally people are so lovely and will step to one side and offer to help us with doors, picking things up if we drop them etc, and I really appreciate that as they can obviously see it's not easy. We also get lots of lovely comments such as "oh you've got your hands full' etc.

Anyway, i was in the supermarket buying about 2 big bags worth of shopping - not a big shop, just a few bits we needed. Dd and ds were quiet, as ds was asleep and dd had a packet of Smarties, but I knew this could change at anytime if ds woke up hungry or dd needed the potty or decided she wanted to get out. So I was hoping to get of the shop as quickly as possible.

I was at the checkout bending down to unload the shopping from underneath the buggy onto the checkout when I see a woman hovering beside me instead of queuing behind me. She only had one item, and asked of she could go in front of me. There was no one else behind me, but I had had to wait while the checkout operator served two other customers.

I was quite shocked and annoyed that she asked, but don't really like confrontation so just replied 'yes' but I think my tone probably said it all.If she hadn't have asked, or hovered expectantly, I probably would have suggested she go in front.

I just felt like she could have gone to the kiosk to pay, or the self serve or basket checkouts - anything rather than push in front of a woman struggling with 2 young kids. AIBU or was she?

In all honesty I think there are bigger things in life to get annoyed over than this. You could just have said "No, I'm in a hurry and would prefer to have my turn now"

um, YABateensybitU. She could have been in a real rush - i don't think she was rude. I think you were rude for being huffy in your tone.

I dunno, if someone in the queue has only one item and I have loads I usually let them go in front.
But I certainly wouldn't expect it if I was in the same position.
I certainly wouldn't ask.

Sorry but YABU. She asked you and you could have said no. If you were still unloading then presumably by the time you'd finished she was already paying up so hardly a big delay. And by your own admission you weren't 'struggling with 2 young kids', one was asleep in the sling and the other was happily sat in the pram munching on smarties.

I don't want to sound like a bitch but seriously, having 2 young kids to wrangle with doesn't automatically trump everyone elses right to a little help and consideration. How do you know she wasn't rushing for something really important? You've been appreciative of others helping you in small ways, why not do the same?

Yabu. She may well have been thinking you would take ages if either child needed attention.

I usually let people with one or two items go ahead of me if I have a basket full/trolley load, they don't ask as I offer.

So, you were held up by what, one minute? If she'd then called over her partner with a stacked trolley, then maybe you'd have had a point... I also had 2 DCs very close in age and can honestly say this would not have bothered me one iota. I really don't think it would have crossed my mind that she was being rude or selfish.

Is everything else OK apart from this?

She wasn't rude, no. She didn't push in front of you at all, just asked if you'd mind.

In theory you are being a bit u BUT I totally get how getting simple things done like shopping sometimes feels such such a huge battle and I feel extremely prickly about other people when I'm having one of those days so i get how you felt at the time .

You've got 'young kids' with you... So what?

Ah thanks for your advice ladies. It seems I was u then! It know there are bigger things to worry about, it just annoyed me a little bit that's all. LingDiLong just to clarify though, the reason i was still unloading was because the shopping was under the buggy - I couldnt manage a basket, and because of the sling I was having to bend right down to get each thing and stand up again, instead of bending over iyswim. I didn't have that much stuff and there were two people in front of me still being served. I do normally let people go in front of me, but just was a bit shocked she thought it was ok to ask.

She wasn't at all rude. If you wanted to refuse and didn't do so that's your problem. In any case, I don't see why the fact that you had two children with you means she was rude for asking.

hahahaha! stop being so precious!
you've got children.....and?

Did she take forever?
Did your dc wake up and cause a scene?
Did the world end?

"shocked"? Get over yourself.

You just don't know other people's circumstances I guess. I frequently stopped at a Lidl on my route home from work to grab milk/bread etc, and would ask people with big trollies if they could let me nip in front. Maybe they thought I was rude as all get-out but wouldn't know inwas a live in carer for my grandfather and had to get home by 5pm to let the sit-in agency carer leave on time for her next job.

Conversely, people who are childless may not appreciate your desire to get out if the supermarket before your toddler kicked off, and figure as a full time mum your shopping trips are more leisurely.

Argh! Sick of OP's STILL getting jumped on with both boots when they have held up their hands and surrendered already. They've been gracious, show the same courtesy .

TBH I always offer the people behind to go in front if they have one or two items, or a basket as opposed to my trolley.

She wasn't rude, she asked you a question!

You could have said no!

Plus you don't know what her reasons for being in a hurry were.

I've always been told if you don't ask, you don't get. She asked, you could have said no. She wasn't being rude asking.

Maybe she doesn't like using the self scan. Lots of people don't and some people won't use the kiosk because they sell those dirty faaags and don't want to be seen queuing there

I don't think she was rude, she just asked, you don't ask you don't get. I would have let her go through.

Now this is bloody rude, a woman of sixty was infront of me at the checkout and she took so long packing her shopping, she even re-arranged it on the converyer belt, she then took 10 mins ripping out coupons, that more than half of where out of date, then she paid with two different cards and cash, then she started to sort out her purse while we were waiting to be served. The que was not best pleased. And she was not poor because the shop was well over a £100.

Yes maybe being a little bit precious. But this is AIBU and we're all entitled to have a moan about the things that get on our nerves after all. I'm not ranting about this in real life, but I have at least got a bit of perspective after a unanimous yabu! I know having two kids don't make me any more deserving than anyone else, but just felt after walking to the shop, wrangling the buggy, bending down to get the shopping etc I felt and prob looked a bit flustered. I maybe didn't articulate this in the op. As I said I normally let people go in front of me if they only have one thing, and it's not like I had that much myself. It just bugged me a little thats all!

I don't think she was rude as such but a bit cheeky IMHO.
I find it very annoying when ppl want to go ahead in the queue. Just wait your fucking turn ffs.

It's very difficult to decline when someone asks to go ahead of you.
and I don't car what anyone else says, it is very stressful shopping with tots. If I don't have DC with me I would nearly always offer my place to a stressed looking mum (and I did that even before I became one myself).

Thanks nutellaontoast and toughasoldboots