to think this is the best bit of Estate Agent blather I've seen in a long time

[freddiefrog]

Just browsing on Right Move and I come across an advert for a "1 bedroom detached house" with a "seafront location" it's "close to amenities" with a "stunning sea view"

Click on it and it's a bloody beach hut!

My favourite was "small but compact"

Apparently I live in a "village". An inner London borough with a lot of crime. lots of cafes, some lovely architecture and Green bits now counts as a village

An estate agent once described my area of London as being 'a stone's throw from Chelsea'

....i'd like to see someone throw a stone 5 miles, including over the River Thames.

I saw a listing once where the flat was described as being located 'on the Fulham/Chelsea borders'.

In other words- in Fulham.

I was also tickled pink by the 'One Bedroom Mezzanine flat' which turned out to be a double bedroom with a fridge and a toilet in the corner. The 'mezzanine' was a double bed on 6' home-made stilts

How much is the beach shed???

Can we have a linki?

Last time we moved we looked the agent knew we were a family with a dog so they suggested a house that had a large, fully enclosed back garden and off road parking for 4 cars. Great, we thought

When we got there the garden clearly doubled up as the parking for 4 cars as it had been completely tarmaced over and the fencing consisted of a couple of those wooden planters with trellis attached to the back of them which they had put wheels on so the planters could be slid to one side to get your car in

Sorry, xposted, don't want to link as I don't want to out myself - it's down the road from me and I think someone I know posts on here

Beach hut was price on application, but they usually go for around £25-£50k depending on which beach

To be fair to the estate agent, rightmove listings are added using rightmove's pre defined drop downs, not freetext. And there wouldn't have been a property type box for 'beach hut'. So they prob just picked the best ones they could*

*disclaimer - haven't seen the listing - it may well be a complete load of bollocks.

Theres a ffing shed, in a sodding garden in kingston currently being marketed...

800 a sodding MONTH!