To think that red hair on a 14yo isn't a discipline issue?

[GilbGeekette]

14 yo DD (just starting Year 10) has just been sent home from school on her first day for having "too bright" hair. Her hair is dyed auburn/red (having had it neon pink all summer) in accordance with, I thought, school policy of dyed hair having to fall into the spectrum of 'natural' hair colour. Her HoY rang me (apologetically, it must be said) and I accepted (even though I disagree) that they weren't happy with the colour, and said I would re-dye it tonight. This wasn't good enough, and I was given a choice between her spending the day in the 'isolation room' (with no set work) or her coming home and me re-dying it now. I've taken the latter option, as I'm a SAHM - if I was working this wouldn't have been an option.

I'm accepting (ish) of the school thinking that her hair isn't a reasonable colour, but AIBU in thinking that verbal assurances from me that it would be rectified by tomorrow morning should be enough? Fwiw, there are no discipline/behavioural issues with DD and school, (quite the contrary - they've always been extremely positive about her) and until now I thought that we'd all had a good relationship...

Yes, but Britain thinks most of the rest of Europe is weird for one reason or another. :o

Ed, I think these rules are put in place so that an impression of discipline can be created.

Its easy to punish uniform transgressions while quietly sweeping the real problems under the carpet.

I do not understand this sort of petty rubbish that schools seem to think is so important.

Agree with this - its just a shame some schools spend so much time and energy enforcing these type of rules and not dealing with actual problem pupils that are causing disruption e.g. the bullies. Last time I looked no-one has been made to feel worthless or assualted by "red hair".

Yeah - the kids who regularly drove me to tears or physically hurt me in front of teachers who did nothing were also the kids who were always getting bollocked for untucked shirts, nail polish etc. Nobody did a pissing thing about the bullying behaviour, but by god they weren't going to let them get away with wearing a skirt two inches too short. Discipline, donchaknow.

Gnome I agree with your most recent post. Uniform enforcement is at best a distraction from the important issues and at worst a farcical threat to our children's dignity and sanity.

I also left school partly because I was so utterly sick of the pointless rules we had to endure. I was 18 and about to take A levels - it was hoped I'd go to a good university, I was in the top 2% of kids in the whole country, I had just Had Enough.
I dropped out, and have never really got back on.

The way education is managed in this country has its excellent aspects but it is also at times a disaster.

see those punk rockers/new romantics circa 1977-80 ! lot to answer for ! (now that they are teachers )

I agree Ed, my DCs school goes in and out of special measures like it is caught on the door handle. One of its main problems is dealing with discipline (apart from the lower than avearge results!).

The latest head introduced a more strict school uniform policy a few years ago. They all have to wear blazers, ties etc. All strictly enforced, sent home if not etc etc.

I saw the 2012 ofsted report. The word inadequate got used when describing the progress the school had made towards dealing with its discipline problem.

Ensuring that ties are done up and that hair colour sits on the Dulux beige colour chart does not make behaviour better, it does not make teaching better, it does not make results better.

Not sure why so many young girls are allowed to dye their hair anyway?? Some i see under 16 who have clearly BLEACHED their hair to get it to bright pinks and reds, i can say now from somebody who bleached their hair a lot (over the age of 18) it messes your hair up so not sure why anyone would let their kids do that when they have some sort of control over them, no hair dying/bleaching will happen on my girl tilll shes at least 16 tbh.

As for the school it is a bit dumb as that looks a natural colour to me and whoever said what jobs send you home on hair colour, well lots. I work for a well known supermarket and had bright red like pillar box when i started and had to change it to a natural dark brown and i also have to keep facial piercings out and tattoos covered so it's not unheard of.

no hair dying/bleaching will happen on my girl tilll shes at least 16 tbh

Good luck with that

Yes, I dyed my hair a lot at 14 (within the bounds of normal hair colour) to no ill effect, apart from the chlorine in the pool on holiday turning it slightly green once :)

no hair dying/bleaching will happen on my girl tilll shes at least 16 tbh.

Yes, I agree with the above, good luck with that!

I really don't see the harm (as a hairdresser!) in a teenager dying or bleaching their hair, even if it does damage it. (and bleach isn't the horrid thing that most people think it is anyway) After all, it won't be damaged forever, it will grow out and the new hair will be just fine. Plus, there aren't many reasons hair colour can't be corrected, so it's not like it would need to stay like that until it grew out either.

Banning hair dye and highlights is even more nonsensical to me. What do they do, keep a lock of the pupil's hair & hold it up to a colour chart?

I think it was probably banned in my school too, certainly until 4th year. I wore subtle makeup & did loads of stuff to my hair from the age of 13 and not one member of staff pulled me up on it, once.

Mind you, with 1500 of us they had a hard time even knowing who was meant to be in what lesson & even whether you had handed in your homework. Was more like herding cattle than school, & I often wished they WOULD be stricter.

Would you let your child 'decide' that she wanted to hold a party where she could drink vodka and smoke pot with her mates? I assume not. But if you chose not to, that's because there are laws about who can drink and smoke pot, and you're choosing to stay within the confines of that social construct.

But I wouldn't object to those rules being challenged by any person under the age of 18. Doesn't mean I would change those particular rules

my kids' school has a judge dredd kind of approach 'there is no justice nly me' kind of approach.they just wouldn't enter into debate about what is acceptable and what isn't. If they say it isn't acceptable as uniform then it isn't.end of.

As a result of this thread I've bought a hair colour a shade redder than I usually choose :o

My work reserves the right to send me home to get changed for such gross infringements of the dress code as wearing open toed shoes or a dress with thin shoulder straps (no, not for H&S reasons) I'd be docked pay for the time it took me to go and change of course.

I think a colour on the chart will look far more extreme on top of pink on top of white bleached hair.

The school have been quite harsh, and I'd be cross too, but no real harm done.

DilysPrice I doubt very much your work if challenged in a court would win for sending you home in this manner.

The school have been harsh because they have to be seen to be harsh and going back at the start of term with a glaring dress code infringement is asking for trouble.It might have been treated less strictly near the end of the year.

Thank heavens for uniforms I say. In the states it's a free for all but god help the kids in Walmart trainers when the rest are in Nike.

Ivy, I doubt very much that if challenged in court anyone would win, say, a queuing argument either. There are many rules we follow that have no basis in law.

SD if my work tried to send me home to change my clothes as they didn't deem straps and peep toes to their liking - then I would tell them no what would they do then? I would then seek union advise if any further steps were taken for me refusing a request to change clothes. Could they sack me for refusing to do as they dictate and it be lawful?

It does seem ridiculously OTT of the school, but petty rules (or rules taken to extremes - clearly bright pink hair would be banned in most schools, but banning any dye is a bit extreme) do give teenagers something safe to rebel against. So they don't have to get into damaging stuff in order to rebel.

If the work contract you've signed says "the employee will abide by conduct regulations as specified in the Staff Handbook" and the staff handbook says "all employees must wear suits and if you don't we'll send you home to change" then yes, they could definitely warn you for one refusal and sack you after warnings.