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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I didn't really deserve that much of an earbashing?

63 replies

theflyingfuck · 06/09/2012 10:11

I had a friend of DD (age 5) round a couple of days ago. I own two horses and DD has been going to see to them with me at least once a day since being born (well trained Smile). So when friend comes round I asked her if she would like to come with us, if she didn't want to go she could stay with DD at my GM's. She said yes and off we went to do the horses together.
I was firm with her about not leaving my side whilst in the paaddock and the rules of patting the horses, the girls started to mess around so sent them to play in a field that was being rested about 10 meters from where I was (DD does this all the time under close watch). The freind was really in to the horses so I said I would bring them in and we could groom them together, again under very close supervision. I then took the girls for a walk while I lead a horse out, with no rider, as it was a nice day and didn't think it fair letting one child ride but not the other as I hadn't asked permission from the mum.
DD's friend was buzzing when she got back to her mum, her mum was like Shock and asked me how I could have been stupid enough to have let her DD near "dangerous wild animals" and that it "unbelievable" I should think this was appropriate entertainment for such small children Hmm and I needed to "grow up"
FYI she knew we see our horses everyday and have offered several times to take her DD for a ride and she was positive about it. I have also owned these horses from being babies in my teens and one now one is "vintage" and her and DD have an amazing bond as she is a foal substitute for her and is very protective of her. Other one is mature and extremely freindly.

freind really enjoyed herself and was allowed to have fun without mother pfbing all over. AIBU to think she was OTT?

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 06/09/2012 10:13

She was v OTT, though I always make visiting children wear helmets around the horses jic

Themumsnot · 06/09/2012 10:13

Dangerous wild animals? WTAF! Your friend is being unbelievably OTT. How did you respond? YANBU at all by the way, it sounds a perfectly appropriate thing to do.

BlackberryIce · 06/09/2012 10:13

Yanbu

But what did you say to this mum? Did you put her straight?

advisemewisely · 06/09/2012 10:13

so you didnt let her kid ride, just pat a horse?
shes a loon.

Moominsarescary · 06/09/2012 10:14

Your friend is being ott and weird, you didn't let her ride the horse so I can't see the problem

slartybartfast · 06/09/2012 10:14

what a fruitcake she sounds. how absolutely ott and ridiculous.
wild animals indeed.

KenLeeeeeee · 06/09/2012 10:15

"Dangerous wild animal" suggests boar or tiger to me, not a horse with an experienced and conscientious adult supervising! YANBU, and she was waaayyy OTT.

pumpkinsweetie · 06/09/2012 10:15

What a twit she sounds!

MyLastDuchess · 06/09/2012 10:16

I think she was way OTT. You didn't put her ON a horse, she was closely supervised, and for heaven's sake they were not wild horses!

I am not a horsey person but I know enough to know that people know their own horses and what is ok around the individual horses and what isn't. If you had taken her child for a ride without permission then her anger would be understandable, but this is a bit much.

DeWe · 06/09/2012 10:17

I think maybe dd's friend made a mistake when talking to her dm and said she'd been grooming/leading a lion. Grin

Can my dc come round? They'd all adore doing that. Wink

littlemisssunny · 06/09/2012 10:17

YANBU at all I think it's good for children to get used to animals.

Though I admit I would have asked the mum first in case of allergies yes Im paranoid as one of my friends children has serious allergic reactions to some animals.

habbibu · 06/09/2012 10:18

Lord. You can take my dd next time instead!

amck5700 · 06/09/2012 10:20

personally I'd have been really pleased that my child had such a fab time and that you'd involved her in an activity that they wouldn't normally get to do.

I'm not a horsey person at all.

HeathRobinson · 06/09/2012 10:20

Gosh, what a lovely treat for the little girl.

Is her mum nervous herself around animals? It's the only reason I can think of that might make her so worried.

TheGoldenKnid · 06/09/2012 10:21

One of our ponies could be described as a 'dangerous wild animal', at least some of the time. If you had let any children pat her you would have deserved an ear bashing! Grin But I assume you know your horse well and know it was perfectly safe, so YANBU!

Taxicat · 06/09/2012 10:21

This is always a difficult one - basically, IMO it's possible that her previous history with horses may not be as positive as yours and equally she will not have had the same amount of experience with horses as you. So this is possibly why her views are so different. It's likely the reasons for her being so upset are 2 fold:
1.) not having control of the decision of her DD riding a horse i.e. it was done without her permission, and
2.) it probably scared the hell out her the possiblity that her DD could've been hurt (however small the likelihood) without her being there

Original poster
theflyingfuck · 06/09/2012 10:21

I told her that one of my horses had worked in a riding school in her youth and was trained to teach children to ride, if people saw fit to pay for her safe and steadyness she should be fine with the horse as well. It seemed to be a massive issue that i was not an instructor and her rolling about in a grassy feild and getting dirty as well :/

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 06/09/2012 10:22

I'd think that was lovely!

What a ridiculous thing to get herself into a tizz about.

So no, you didn't deserve any sort of an earbashing, let alone that much of an earbashing.

Silly woman.

greenhill · 06/09/2012 10:23

YANBU. You stressed all the safety aspects and supervised them at all times. Your friend was also aware of your regular visits to your horses.

I love the wild animal comment, did she think you had the lesser spotted Essex Lion on a leading rein?

TroublesomeEx · 06/09/2012 10:23

Children are for rolling around in grassy fields and getting dirty!

Blimey, what is the world coming to! Grin

Themumsnot · 06/09/2012 10:23

Taxi - the OP didn't let the child ride the horse, just pat it, under strict supervision.

financialwizard · 06/09/2012 10:23

I was doing all of that and more around horses at 5. YADNBU. Very strange woman to say that a horse is a 'dangerous wild animal'. Yes a horse will still have a fight or flight mentality, but with a supervising adult who knows the horse inside out who will pick up warning signs instantly. She is daft.

As an aside where we are looking to move to they have a day nursery for children which is also a farm, and the children are encouraged to get involved with the animals not used as cheap labour which I think is fab. At the moment though they only have 3 days a week which is not enough for what I will need :(

StateofConfusion · 06/09/2012 10:24

She was totally OTT, I'd have been thrilled my dc got the opportunity tbh!

Taxicat · 06/09/2012 10:24

Oops, I meant to say she was not in control of the decision to be around the horses. The riding bit was a typo...

headinhands · 06/09/2012 10:24

That's actually sad op. One wonders what else will her dd not be able to do Sad

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