To think I didn't really deserve that much of an earbashing?

[theflyingfuck]

I had a friend of DD (age 5) round a couple of days ago. I own two horses and DD has been going to see to them with me at least once a day since being born (well trained ). So when friend comes round I asked her if she would like to come with us, if she didn't want to go she could stay with DD at my GM's. She said yes and off we went to do the horses together.
I was firm with her about not leaving my side whilst in the paaddock and the rules of patting the horses, the girls started to mess around so sent them to play in a field that was being rested about 10 meters from where I was (DD does this all the time under close watch). The freind was really in to the horses so I said I would bring them in and we could groom them together, again under very close supervision. I then took the girls for a walk while I lead a horse out, with no rider, as it was a nice day and didn't think it fair letting one child ride but not the other as I hadn't asked permission from the mum.
DD's friend was buzzing when she got back to her mum, her mum was like and asked me how I could have been stupid enough to have let her DD near "dangerous wild animals" and that it "unbelievable" I should think this was appropriate entertainment for such small children and I needed to "grow up"
FYI she knew we see our horses everyday and have offered several times to take her DD for a ride and she was positive about it. I have also owned these horses from being babies in my teens and one now one is "vintage" and her and DD have an amazing bond as she is a foal substitute for her and is very protective of her. Other one is mature and extremely freindly.

freind really enjoyed herself and was allowed to have fun without mother pfbing all over. AIBU to think she was OTT?

I can see saggy's point I suppose. They are big heavy slightly dim (sorry horsey people) animals and have the potential to hurt small people. BUT if I were you I'd have been in trouble too as it wouldn't have occurred to me to check with her first either.

And she was extremely OTT and downright rude in voicing her complaints.

It sounds like she might be projecting a fear of horses onto her daughter. Maybe she's managed to hide it in the past?

I'm not horsey at all, but even I think this sounds very much over the top! YANBU.

YANBU. This other mother was rude and there was no need to speak to you like that.

i am terrified of horses the last time i went with in half a mile of one i cried like a baby and froze with fear. its a phobia but i would be delighted if a person i trusted enough to leave my kids with without my supervision offered to take them to see horses.

however i personally would never take a child anywhere without letting a parent know where/when/how long ect i wouldnt even let a child into my house/garden without knowing the parent knew thats where they were.

so yanbu but perhaps should have checked

On the bright side:
I expect the little girl will remember that experience for a long time as being amazing. If you'd asked the mother she would have said no or ruined it by being there and hovering and fussing. So I would chalk it up and ask the mother next time(if there ever is one).

Sorry but YABU.

I have horses (four of them) and keep them at home but DD is not (and will not be) allowed in the field with them loose. I have seen too many people trampled, I got knocked over by one of the horses myself just a few weeks ago, to take a risk with a small child. The horses don't even have to be naughty or scared to end up hurting people, a leg kick aimed at a fly, a head tossed at the wrong moment, a hoof on unprotected feet...

I always wear a hat when I handle and would not be happy about anyone else being near the horses without a hat on.

I appreciate this is a risk you are happy to take in exchange for the benefits for your DD of being near the horses, and clearly from this thread you are in the majority, but you shouldn't have taken this risk with someone else's child without asking.

Horses can be very very very dangerous. I have known a horse burst into flames and cause a huge forest fire.

at Hullygully. I think a little bit of wee came out.

Anyway - you definitely weren't being U if your horse is safe and you supervise children when they're around her, and that little girl will have had the time of her life. I've taken my PFB 15 week old daughter to a local city farm and she adores the horses, chuckling when she sees them and reaching out to touch them. It's fantastic for children to have the opportunity to be around horses and a brilliant way to help them love animals.

DS was riding horses when he was 4 and he has severe SN (so was more like 2)

Nothing's ever happened to him and he wasn't always nice and calm and well behaved at his riding school. Took a lot of training!

Oh and YANBU! She is.

Oh and DS doesn't wear a hat while patting or putting on horses saddle etc

He does know not to stand behind a horse though and all the horses there are taken on because of their kind manner. I'd only be worried about them nibbling.

Think she was ott and if out was me I would have said thank you! That said, I'm Very Not Ok with dds being near dogs without me; no breed prejudice but I don't trust any dog near my child. SO not really sure what I think which am sure is no help at all!