To not send a thank you card for coffee liqueur fudge?

[StormyEyes]

Ok, I had a big decade birthday recently, and I had a big party in my home. I received lots of lovely presents and lots of people joined into groups and gave me vouchers etc.

I received a number of gifts that are obvious regifts, but I think i can still manage a warm thank you- a metal robot/golfer that goes on wine bottles (?) and a metal bowl with stags head handles ( I'm thinking fruit?)

From a couple that I really like ( have minded kids while she's in labour, home made food given afterwards, various kid stuff given freely, we lunch at each others homes and generally get on and help each other out), I received a 6oz box of weird coffee liqueur flavored fudge.

Do I say thanks for the gift, or just ignore it? I'm not planning on sending cards for the bottles of wine and champagne that people brought because lots of them were opened and drunk on the night. I really want to ignore!

And yes, in case anyone thinks I'm being coy and trying to avoid a flaming, I do think they were being fucking stingy!

If u said thanks when they gave u the gift why do you need to say it again?

Bloody hell a gifts a gift, how do you know they are "regifts?" maybe that's their taste? Maybe that's all they can afford.

I wouldnt I would treat it in the same way as wine gifts and were to be consumed on the night and yes very tight if a good friend although if she is hard up its the thought that counts - maybe some homemade fudge would have been better least you know she thought about it a bit more.

Do you think they might be skintola?

Or perhaps bought you a great big bottle of champagne as well which was drunk on the night?

If you really like this couple, why are you mentally totting up all the favours and calculating that the present was not sufficiently large? But in answer to the real question, no, I don't think that you have to send thank you notes to people you have thanked in person.

Are you writing to thank your guests for coming to your party and making it a great night etc?

Oh Dear, drip feeding bad- no they are not hard up at all- huge house, more cars than drivers, and highest level white collar jobs of anyone that I know! Think accountant/ NHS consultant etc

Anyone who sends you a gift no matter how small/large, expensive/cheap should be thanked either in person, by phone/text, email or a thank you card. Not doing so is incredibly rude especially if you're picking and choosing which gifts are deserving of a thank you...

I think it's incredibly rude to pick and choose which gifts you deem worthy of a thank you.

If you're doing thank you cards you do them to everyone that gave you a gift.

I once received an address book from the in-laws for Xmas... fair enough.

The thing was it was so obviously a regift as they had already entered a few names and addresses of their own.

I thanked them in person when they gave it to me, then DP and I fell about laughing in the car on the way home.

I'm sorry, that doesn't really address the OP.

Richest person I know (net worth: $6 million) - DH's grandmother - sends the cheapest gifts. Still trot out the ole' thank you letter, though - it's just manners, innit?

(I do hear you, though - it rankles!)

FWIW I think the most generous people (with time, love, not just money) are the most skint. And the nicest!

Are you sure they're not some obscure expensive brand?

I just got married. One of our gifts was addressed to a different couple, with a message from a random aunty neither of us had heard of. We'd been to the couple's wedding a few months earlier and fell about laughing at the obvious regift. They'll still get a thank you card though.

You sound pretty unpleasant and graping OP, vouchers and expensive champagne are acceptable presents worthy of thanks but a "cheap" bos of sweets isn't. If you are sending thank you cards you must send one to everyone, if I was your friend I would be very hurt that my gift wasn't deemed good enough while others' were.

YANBU. Fudge should never be tainted by shite like coffee liqueur. Vanilla or nothing, I reckon. Your failure to send a card will put them straight on that score.

YABU! And I like the sound of the bowl. I'll have it if it's going spare. See my thread about me turning 40...for my birthday I got an infected burn, a boil and a sore throat.

[grin

Look.... I can't even manage a full grin!

I'm not sure if I would moan if the fudge was rum flavoured.

I'd be happier if the rum was fudge flavoured

Agree that it might be some expensive brand.

Can you look it up and come back and tell us how much it cost?

If cheap, you can bet the bloke got it in the petrol station on the way to yours

I don't think you need to send a thank you card, it's a bit OTT for a box of fudge, which is more like a contribution to the festivities than a gift per se.

YANBU. I'd be quite happy to receive a box of fudge (love the stuff), but I wouldn't kill meself to send a thankyou card afterwards either.

Don't be so fricking ridiculous Lily

If I bought a mate a box of Maltesers for their bday, whilst their dad had bought them a new telly or summat, then I'd take it as read that they'd be more chuffed with the telly.

I don't send thankyou notes when I have already thanked the person for it when they gave me it.

It's Wilson's fudge, made in Kendal. I don't think it some kind of exclusive fudge- inside the box, it's in a cellophane bag. I'm not going to eat it as it sounds gross. I think I'd embarrass them (genuinely!) if I write them a thank you letter.

I doing a count of peoples responses- I really want to know. The horrible ones do make my heart race though!