To not send a thank you card for coffee liqueur fudge?

[StormyEyes]

Ok, I had a big decade birthday recently, and I had a big party in my home. I received lots of lovely presents and lots of people joined into groups and gave me vouchers etc.

I received a number of gifts that are obvious regifts, but I think i can still manage a warm thank you- a metal robot/golfer that goes on wine bottles (?) and a metal bowl with stags head handles ( I'm thinking fruit?)

From a couple that I really like ( have minded kids while she's in labour, home made food given afterwards, various kid stuff given freely, we lunch at each others homes and generally get on and help each other out), I received a 6oz box of weird coffee liqueur flavored fudge.

Do I say thanks for the gift, or just ignore it? I'm not planning on sending cards for the bottles of wine and champagne that people brought because lots of them were opened and drunk on the night. I really want to ignore!

And yes, in case anyone thinks I'm being coy and trying to avoid a flaming, I do think they were being fucking stingy!

please don't send a thankyou card. Years ago when I was in my early 20s my bf (now dh) were invited to the evening wedding reception. We didn't know them that well, but were going on holiday with mutual friends later that year. I wanted to buy a 'proper'gift, but my tightarse bf would only get chocs. They sent a thankyou card and everytime I think about it i go hot and cold with embarrassment ...

Hesterton, you posted twice within a minute, with two totally different tones!
Your first one is MumsNetty baiting, but your second one makes sense to me, and is why I posted.
I wanted them to come, and they came. Thank you, I needed to be reminded.

Also, the majority agree that the fudge doesn't call for a thank you-Phew!Will post said Fudge to the first PM- promise

I note no-one has asked for the metal Robot/golfer wine bottle cover???

i seriously fancy the antler fruit bowl.

I see potential for the bowl come Halloween.

Have you opened the fudge? Maybe there is a cheque tucked inside?

[hopeful]

Or maybe they've scoffed a few bits.

You're just chatting shit and you know it

Charming! You kiss your mother with that mouth?

I stand by my opinion that moaning about a re-gift or a cheap gift is ungracious and yes, grasping when amounts where later mentioned so a standard was clearly expected. Especially when the OP doesnt know the circumstances of why the gift was given. As has been mentioned, they could have had a blazing row, each thought the other was buying it or simply forgot!

Or perhaps they didnt understand the "£10 per person or £20 per couple" rule

I don't think it was a 'gift' at all, just a token contribution - so you either send everyone who came a thank you note to say 'thank you for coming' or just send thank you cards to those who sent obvious gifts.

If it was presented as a gift, in naice wrapping paper and in a fancy gift bag with a tag on it, then it is a shit gift though. Our closest couple friends we don't exchange gifts with or even send birthday cards to - we buy fairly expensive stuff for their kids though (and they buy expensive gifts for birthday and Xmas for DD) - I thought that was what grown ups did...

They didn't have to get you anything, you know. I was brought up to never expect a gift and be thankful when one is given.

It's a nice box fudge, not a tin of baked beans. Perhaps they thought you would enjoy it?

The £10 per person or £20 per couple rule is very odd and grabby IMO.

I agree the antler fruit bowl sounds cool though.

If they are as good friends as you say, I would just phone or text to say thanks for coming, did you enjoy it, I had a lovely party, blah blah and end with, cheers for the yummy fudge and leave it at that. Job done.

Saying thankyou at the party to everyone who gave gifts might have been a good idea whether it be an inexpensive gift or not. If of course you didn't a nice text to all gifters would be a nice idea.
Some people don't have the money to be 'showey' with gifts. A gift is a gift and atleast they thought to give one than not at all!

I've recently had a significant b'day too, and I was overwhelmed by the generosity of people tbh. I think it's good manners to write thank you cards - I would struggle to word it for some fudge to be fair, but you could write something along the lines of thanking them for helping you to celebrate your special day? I had some vair tasteful pressies, though, so may be coming at this from a different angle! HAppy b'day btw!

I agree with others that a box of fudge is not really a present but a token contribution to the festivities. Particularly as it is not a fancy box and probably a re-gift.

Proper presents must be acknowledged, however, even if it is galling to do so (remembers writing thank you letter to dh's uncle who had sent us a £1 coin sellotaped to a postcard for a wedding present).

If you have seen the recipient in person no letter is necessary (although it is difficult to act grateful when presented for the fifth year running by some past-the-sell-by date Ferrero Rocher by mil [grrrrr]).