To not send a thank you card for coffee liqueur fudge?

[StormyEyes]

Ok, I had a big decade birthday recently, and I had a big party in my home. I received lots of lovely presents and lots of people joined into groups and gave me vouchers etc.

I received a number of gifts that are obvious regifts, but I think i can still manage a warm thank you- a metal robot/golfer that goes on wine bottles (?) and a metal bowl with stags head handles ( I'm thinking fruit?)

From a couple that I really like ( have minded kids while she's in labour, home made food given afterwards, various kid stuff given freely, we lunch at each others homes and generally get on and help each other out), I received a 6oz box of weird coffee liqueur flavored fudge.

Do I say thanks for the gift, or just ignore it? I'm not planning on sending cards for the bottles of wine and champagne that people brought because lots of them were opened and drunk on the night. I really want to ignore!

And yes, in case anyone thinks I'm being coy and trying to avoid a flaming, I do think they were being fucking stingy!

peoplesrpincess

Why is what a gift costs the most important thing? Lily isnt being ridiculous at all.

I am always thankful of any gifts that my friends give me because it means that they have thought about me and remembered my birthday.

The OP sounds spoilt and I am glad i wasnt invited to her party if her enjoyment of it was based on what people spent on her!

Where are you, NCForNow? I might regift to you, just to cheer you up!

I reckon that Wilsons fudge is a regift from someone returning from the Lake District

You are not unreasonable to be a bit miffed and find it funny. I wouldn't send a card either.

I don't do thank you letters. If a gift is given to me in person I say thank you at the time. If it's posted I call and say thank you.

I would be if I got a thank you letter for a box of chocs (or fudge or sweets or kendal mint cake!!!) I took to a friend's birthday party.

FWIW I think it was beyond naff to give the OP this gift for a big birthday in the circs describe - good friends, well-off, known long time.

Coffee liqueur fudge sounds absolutely heavenly to me!
Maybe they think so too?
Maybe the thought a gesture would suffice?

Maybe you are quite ungracious.

I don't think it's about how much the gift cost - Lily and Bogey - I think it's that a box of fudge is a fairly shit present.

Just to clarify, around here the standard contribution to group presents, is a tenner a head, £20 quid a couple. Nearly every one has a 40th or a 50th birthday celebration, so no one goes over the top, money wise. I don't care about the "cost" of the damn fudge. I care because it came out of the cupboard!

I accept that I maybe worded it wrong- I don't take it back that I think they were mean.

As regards the card. It's not required.

A bunch of roses can be had for same price as fudge, bet OP would have preferred that and I don't even know her!

Still extremely ungracious and grasping.

Horrible.

Don't send thank cards to anyone, just say thanks when you next see people or text people if you won't see them for a while

How is it grasping?

I can see that maybe some think ungracious - difference of opinion- but grasping I don't understand how? She wasn't after more value, just more thought.

Maybe what with one thing and another neither of them had time to buy a gift?

I remember dh and I having a catastrophic row once on the day of our good friend's 30th birthday. In the time it took to slog it out, cry it out and sort it out, there was no time left, so we gave her a bottle of wine from the fridge.

So there you have it. Your present just possibly wasn't their top priority. now show some dignity and empathy and forget it.

You definitely don't sound grasping. Don't bother with a thank you card.

The fudge sounds grim. The kind of thing that comes in foul 'corporate' hampers.

I would always send a card.

I can't be arsed with some of you lot tonight.

A box of cheapo fudge is not a heartfelt or thoughtful present, and the OP should not feel obliged to piss herself with gratitude at the sight of it either because ....... just because actually.

Don't try and pretend it's on a par with a new telly or £100 or an antique necklace that someone scoured every jewellery shop in Birmingham for. You're just chatting shit and you know it.

agree with pictish, you just weren't top of their list that night. a bit embarrassing, but hey ho. i wouldn't bother with a card, though, it doesn't warrant it, it was just something to scoff.

Who's expecting her to piss herself with gratitude you loon?! It's fudge.
The point is...why focus on and make an issue out of the one small thing that wasn't wonderful?
It's peevish.

No - I was talking to People'sprincess...who is going feral on the matter.

Hesterton is inspired

As an adult I wouldn't expect a birthday gift at all from friends - maybe some wine or flowers if I invite them to a party (or a box of fudge!) but definitely not a 'proper' gift. I've been to tons of 40th birthdays being of that age and would say its rare for people to take a gift.

(Having said that I do sometimes buy presents for friends, but only if I happen to see something particularly appropriate, IYKWIM.)

I wouldn't write a thank you note for said wine, flowers or fudge though, just thank them on the day.

Oh, and I'll eat your coffee liqueur fudge

OMG, I'd have found that funny as hell! Obvious regifts make me laugh my arse off.

I worked for this huge partner in a law firm who was very generous with gifts, and spent every Xmas and New Year's at her brother's in NZ. Spent ages finding loads of lovely gifts for him, his wife, his kids (she was married herself but childfree).

And always laughed at how they would get tacky regifts in return every time (and no, her brother was not skint by any means).

We couldn't wait to hear what they got for Xmas every year.

She found it hysterical.