amibu mil plans for family photo

[Strawhatpirate]

My mil with whom I have a very difficult relationship with has asked for a family portrait next year including my unborn ds but has made it clear to dh I an not to be included. She has told dh that she only wants her partner her dcs and there respective dcs! Am I being oversensitive to find this a bit of a piss take?

Dress the kids in reeeeeealy garish clothes. And maybe draw a Groucho style mustache on your DH.

Send your baby in an 'I love mummy' babygro.

This is the kind of crap my ex MIL would have pulled. But that woman had major major issues.

Thank god current MIL isn't like that at all. BIL got married recently and DD is the only niece/nephew for either of them, so they arranged that we could have some nice family photos done by the photographer if we wanted. It was a really nice gesture but GF, BIL and I hate our photos being taken so rather than just having her, OH, SIL and DD in a photo looking like the rest of us we're excluded, she just asked if she could have a couple of just her and DD. Quite lovely they were too without the rest of us awkward lot!!!!

I'm torn where I stand on this - tbh not sure there is a right answer.

Your MIL definitely has issues, but given that it's not targeted at you specifically I would have a snigger with the other in-laws.

My mother would probably pull something like this, she hates my DH, where it used to be hidden it is slowly bubbling up to the surface! However my DBro doesn't have kids so any family pic would only exclude DH. She said way before I had kids if I had a girl then she, my Nan and said GDD would have a photo together, I have 2 DSs . I understand more with that perspective as it's 'the female line' and conversly on my DH's side we have a few pics of 4 generations of males - DHs Granddad, Dad, two brothers and our 2 sons.

I am quite close to DH's family and think I would feel quite hurt if they suggested a DC and GDC only photo, excluding me and BIL, once you're married you are part of the family and a suggestion to do something like that implies you're not family enough for them. Like someone upthread said, without you, there's no DC!

OP - given she has form, don't sweat about it, see if your other in-laws are agreeing to it and silently sabotage, some good suggestions!

What you do is to gather all the siblings, shunned partners and children together and get MIL a group photo of you all for Christmas.

I agree with SoupDragon

I can see it both ways.
I don't think it unreasonable for someone to want blood relatives only on a photo eg wedding photos often do this.
However it is only ok if all inlaws are excluded.
Don't stress over it.
I, along with bil and all grandchildren,was excluded from pil 50th wedding anniversary meal. Dh didn't go neither did anyone else, ended up with just pil- alone.

I like merrymouse's idea but think you could go on better with one of these showing a photo of you!

on one

Thumbwitch

Get together with the other left out partners and plot to dress ALL the grandchildren in matching tops with "Grandma sucks" or "My mum/dad is ace" or similar (photo of the missing parent doing a rude gesture?) on. Get the "acceptable" parent to put a cardi over the top and whip it off at the last possible moment.

If you do any of the things suggested here to sabotage the photo, you will (unfortunately) be proving your MILs dislike to be well founded.

Ah Soupy, they're all tongue-in-cheek suggestions. Well mine is, anyway. :)

Oh, I know. although mine wasn't