to be annoyed with my MIL for not deciding on a name to be called now we have our baby daughter?

[themoogcookbook]

The subject of names for grandparents came up whilst I was pregnant and she said 'oh the child will decide what to call me'. My M is 'Granny' and I really couldn't care less what my MIL's 'name' will be - but I want her to decide! It p*ssed me off when bloody Esther Rantzen said the same thing on The One Show last night! 'I think the child will choose what they want to call me'.
FFS the baby can't talk!!!!!!!!!!!

YABU

And breathe

Call her a silly old bat constantly in front of dd she'll soon decide on an alternative.

Just refer to her as nan or grandma or whatever I'd she doesn't like it she'll soon choose something she prefers. Not a big deal

does it really matter? Its not a big deal

Would you be more happy with her if she decided on a name you hated? IME it's the parent who will ultimately decide- surely the baby will call her name whatever you refer to her by?

I couldn't bring myself to get worked up about this TBH.

Decide for her then, she obviously doesn't mind what she's called so pick what you would like her to be known as. If your daughter wants to change it when she's older, fine.

Are there other issues with your MIL?

Er, what does it matter? The baby can't talk yet...

Yabu. This is a bit of a non-issue.

Is this her first grandchild? If so you pick the name, what did your dh call his nana can't you just use that?

yabu.. a) your baby wont be calling her anything for quite a while.. b) I think this is probably just standard my MIL annoys me/winds me up fodder.

Well the baby will start to associate the name with the person long before they can speak so people do needs identifiers. Otherwise how will you tell your DD that her father's mother is visiting?

If she hasn't chosen a name, you choose one.

I hated everything my mother in law did when I had my first baby, some of it justified but I was mostly completely irrational. Hormones were to blame, and when I had my second, I tried to keep this in check! Sorry but I think you are being unfair and a little crazy! But I was too and you will get over yourself!

yabu - you can sart calling her what you like and your dd's early speaking attempts may well mean she ends up being known as something completely different
does it really matter at this point?

Erm, if she doesnt mind, and your baby can't talk, there's always the option of you deciding.

Just a thought.

My mom decided she wanted to be grandma as it was what I called my grandma, but once dd1 started talking, she called her something else. Now my mom is always referred to as the other name.
So I think YABU. But I know what it's like to have a mil wind me up!

Really? In the whole scheme of things?
Maybe she feels a little self-conscious choosing a name if this is her first grandchild. My mum was and couldn't decide. My MIL had been 'grandma' for 20 years already so was fully embedded in the role.

What till your DC can speak and call her what YOU want...I bet she'll soon let you know then if she doesn't like it!

Just refer to her as the name your dh used for his grandmother. No need to get so stressed about it.

I agree - Yabu (sorry). You or MIL can decide to refer to her as Grandma, Nanny, Nanna etc but the grandchildren will end up choosing the name that's used anyway.

Both DM and MIL insisted on being 'Nanna' in our house (No idea why this was so popular - reminds me of the dog in Peter Pan). This led to them being referred to as Nanna X and Nanna Y by us grown-ups to differentiate. The grandkids had trouble with the length and so have dropped the 'Nanna' entirely and call them by their first names. (which has been received with mixed emotions by DM/Mil)
'Grandpa' was also pushed for both sides (by the 'Nannas') and has become 'Grumpy' in our house (which fits better that it should!). So we have Grumpy A and X, and Grumpy B and Y.

Calling her what she called her grandma is OK

My dm did this. Only difference was she was adamant she was not going to be called nana.
Unfortunately for her ds decided that was exactly what he was calling her and 5 years on nana loves her 'name'.
Yabu (sorry)

Yeah I probably am being unreasonable - sleep dep is killing me

Actually, I do think it is important to have names so children learn. When they speak, how will they know what to use? I think in this case you and your DH chose terms you feel comfortable with and use them consistently. If your MIL objects, she can chose something herself and you all go with that.

In both our families the terms "Nana" and "Grandad" were used. So we ended up with "Nana First name" "Grandad first name" to differentiate. We didn't ask the grandparents, just referred to them as that. When they are with us, assuming it is just one set, then it is just Nana and Grandad. When both sets are together we use first names as well.

That means you get to pick .

I sympathise as my MIL insists on 'Nanny' which I hate and refuse to use as it makes me cringe (she is neither a professional child carer or a goat).

My parents asked and we agreed on Grandma and Grandad. Now DD can talk, she has suddenly decided that they are Grandpa and Grandmama (heaven knows where she gets that last one from).

My dd chose what she called my mum. My mum is now known as Umma. I think we used to call her grandma and as dd started talking it became Umma.

We never actually had a conversation with any of the GPs about what they'd be called.