to be annoyed with my MIL for not deciding on a name to be called now we have our baby daughter?

[themoogcookbook]

The subject of names for grandparents came up whilst I was pregnant and she said 'oh the child will decide what to call me'. My M is 'Granny' and I really couldn't care less what my MIL's 'name' will be - but I want her to decide! It p*ssed me off when bloody Esther Rantzen said the same thing on The One Show last night! 'I think the child will choose what they want to call me'.
FFS the baby can't talk!!!!!!!!!!!

YABU - she is trying to be accommodating.

I know what you mean, like if she is waiting for the baby to pick a name for her she will end up nameless for about 2 years or could be more so totally impractical! but just pick her a name and dont think too much about it

You and MIL are both unreasonable. Baby will make up name based on what mummy and daddy call the lady in question. Baby needs some kind of starting point!

I can sort of understand where you're coming from - DD (17w-o) is my PFB and when pregnant I asked both sets of gp's what they wanted to be called, and was surprised when neither minded and said the same as yours. Surprised though - because having no experience of this I'd assumed they'd have wanted to name themselves - but not remotely angry about it. So for being confused, YANBU. For being annoyed, i'm afraid YA.

YANBU. My mum doesn't like Nana/Nanny/derivatives - "I am not a goat!" and didn't want to be Grandma because that was what I called HER mum, who died quite young. So we settled on a foreign term (that has meaning to our family) for grandmother, and both my kids call her that. But without something to refer to her as, I'd have been bloody stuck until my (speech delayed) PFB worked it all out!

I mean, come on, do we not refer to ourselves as Mummy and Daddy/Mum and Dad/whatever in order for the child 'to work out what they want to call us'?

Pish. Call her Grandmama. It's suitably snooty.

I agree with others - YABU.

My DDs have 3 sets of grandparents. My Mum and Stepdad wanted to be called Nanny and Grandad - DD1 calls them Nana and Ganga. My Dad and Stepmum are called Morfar and Mormor (Swedish terms for Mums Dad and Mums Mum) - DD1 calls them Mof and something resembling Momo. DHs parents are Farmor and Farfar (Swedish for Dads Mum and Dads Dad) and as they haven't met DD1 since she has been able to even start talking, she doesn't know who they are. DD2 will probably follow suit copying her sister, maybe... who knows.

IMO family get called what the child ends up calling them.

Or, just use her Christian name? That might irk her into at least making a suggestion.

Kids WILL morph names to suit themselves - my Dad started off as Grampy and now gets Grumpy, Dampy or Gruffalo - but they need something to be called in the meantime!

My I commend the swedes for having recognised grandparental terms for each side of the family- brilliant!

I told my mother she could pick but she chose mumrah (as in thundercats) after Someone suggested it as a joke. I ended up picking myself.

FFS the baby can't talk!!!!!!!!!!!

exactly..

dc could just use her name?

DD1 called my mum 'Danny' for years (no, that is not her name)

It never occured to us to ask the gps what they prefer. We just called one couple grandma and granddad and the other couple granny and grandpa. Nobody objected as far as we know.

I would just go ahead and decide for yourself and tell your MIL that if she decides differently in the next 6 months or so she can be renamed.

Well, I have a different problem, and I am def not unreasonable, just so you know. All grandparents were consultred on names, right? One grandparent chose a quite unusual name. We went along with that, and used it always. The three year old twins have just learned how to say it. They're very proud of themselves!

And last week, this grandparent asked us if the name could be changed! No, it bloody can't!

ROFL @ mumrah! Call MIL that!

I have a FILs-wife naming stand off which is now 8 years old as she insists on the one Grandparent name that I won't allow. So she gets called nothing.

I feel your infuriation.

my FIL did this!

Fortunately he hadn't waned us so we ad this conversation

Dh - what do you want to be called?
FIL - he can chose.
Dh - but he can't speak and we will start saying 'we are going to see granny and xxx before to long.
FIL 'well you will have to figure that out.'
Dh ok. So 'we are going to see granny and small wanker' seems fine to me. Is that ok?

He chose pretty quickly after that

We started off calling both sets of grandparents Granny & Grandad. My DD soon decided how to distinguish them. My parents were Little Granny & Little Grandad, the PILs are Big Granny and Big Grandad.
I just decided on Granny & Grandad because that is what I called my GPs. No first names there though - I used Granny 'Surname' to tell them apart.

YABU. You choose what she's known as and that's the end of it. Far better than the deluded type that, in a vain attempt to never get old, demands the grandchildren 'call me Patricia' (which is what one of my aunts tried)

I have no idea why it bothers me, but my MIL chose to call herself "Oma". She is not German. Or Dutch. She lived in Germany for a while, I suppose, but still, I think it's weird.

I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does.

Pagwatch I sniggered lots!

My I commend the swedes for having recognised grandparental terms for each side of the family- brilliant!

This was my reaction the first time DH told me.

make your own decision! we (I) had to very quickly squash MIL's desire that FIL be called a particularly stupid name. I won...!

Just use her name as usual, unless she asks to be called something else.