to be annoyed with my MIL for not deciding on a name to be called now we have our baby daughter?

[themoogcookbook]

The subject of names for grandparents came up whilst I was pregnant and she said 'oh the child will decide what to call me'. My M is 'Granny' and I really couldn't care less what my MIL's 'name' will be - but I want her to decide! It p*ssed me off when bloody Esther Rantzen said the same thing on The One Show last night! 'I think the child will choose what they want to call me'.
FFS the baby can't talk!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha - my mum was the opposite. When told I was expecting, one of her first sentences was "I'm going to be Nanna" (i.e. reserving that name before MIL can pick it for herself). I had to politely inform her that it would be awkward to expect MIL to choose something else as she was already known as Nanna to two other children. My mum was most put out that she didn't have excusive rights to the name . Sounds like the Swedes are on to something there!

Boobz - my aunt did exactly the same thing in the same non-German-but-lived-there-for-a-bit-but-not-any-more-circumstances - for a minute I thought you were my cousin but you say MIL - you're not a bloke are you?

My MIL snootily said " Nanny is either a mother goat or a person employed to look after your children!"

So she chose Granny B + my mum was Grandma. Dad was grandpa but DD1 turned that into poppa so it stuck for all his DGC's !!

My Mum hated the idea of being a Nana/Nanny, and Granny was what we called my grandmother, so we dithered about this for ages. My sister sat her down in front of a website with names for Grandmother in lots of different languages - they picked something Scandinavian. I love it actually, it is unusual and suits her - but it would have been a nightmare without a name for her, just totally impractical. To be fair she realised this, after vetoing all normal suggestions :-)

But, if you follow the Swedish model, and the maternal gps have a different name to the paternal gps how does that work? At family gatherings one set of kids would shout 'Maternal Grandma Word!!!' and all kinds of old ladies would turn around. Plus, if you had kids of different genders, your grandchildren would all call you something different. "What are we getting for Paternal Grandfather Word's birthday?"... 'Whose paternal Grandfather, ours or yours?" etc.

Bossy that's exactly what my grandma used to say!

The grandparents decided between themselves in my family. I never knew it was an issue.

MIL wanted to be Nan because that's what her mother is, my mum wanted to be Grandma because her mother was Nana and she'd only recently died when DS was born.

When I was born, my Nana and Grandma worked it out between themselves what they wanted to be called.

The child doesn't choose - they will pick up their cues from you. If I said to DS, "let's go and see silly old bitch," every time we visited MIL, that's what he would call her...

We called MIL one name (that MIL picked) but DD picked a different name that has stuck.

MIL has other grandchildren and they all call her the name that MIL wanted, only DD calls MIL the other name.

The baby might pick a total different name when you DD can talk.

Congratulations on your baby. :)

My ds is 18 months and my mil still doesn't have a name! She calls herself gran, grandma and nan/nanny but then corrects herself in a fluster as she knows dp hates it.

Ds doesn't call her anything as he barely sees her. She's a batty old woman.

Be nice! Is this her first grand child? She may still be coming to terms with the ideaof being a grandparent, never mind being called anything! Why not ask her if there's a name she WOULDN'T like, then you can't upset her when you call her nanna or whatever. I think it's true that the baby will have their own name for her(when they can talk!)
Were you always completely comfortable with addressing her when you first met, or did you,like me, wait till they were looking at you before you spoke, so that you could avoid the issue(I know I know-what a wimp lol) People aren't always as confident as we judge them to be!
All the best!

It may make little difference in the end anyhow. My father had decided what he wanted to be called and 4 of his grandchildren call him by that name. But the other two had different ideas.......they call him Pa for some reason! Nobody minds.

My mum didn't want to be called nanny.... so, naturally, we call her nanny!

I can understand your frustration, OP. From birth we have referred to my parents as their chosen-grandparent-name when passing the baby, 'speaking' to him about our parents, sending birthday cards and the like.

Call your MIL whatever you see fit and should she not like it then it can change with time, my father started off as 'grandpa' but now refers to himself as my son's 'Di' (term most commonly used in Fife, Scotland).

Not a bloke! Is your cousin / cousin's partner annoyed by it, or just me MrsCarriePooter?

my 2 year old calls my grandad "grandma"

What is it with people calling grandparents set names? My nanas were/are just Nana (name), I only had 1 grandad so he was just grandad, but if i had more than 1 he would of been Grandad (name). Simples

Call her her fucking name, for gods sake.

Talk about a non-problem.

Yabu
My mil wanted to be called grandma.
Fine with me.
But not with my sins who couldn't pronounce grandma...she is now known as ma.
And fil is pa.
My parents are nanny and pop...have no idea why, that's what my son called them.

I think MeeMaw (as used by the fabulous Sheldon Cooper) should be suggested to her OP!

Start referring to her as "Mrs dhsurname"

Give her a different name to the other grandma, it's much easier when you're talking about them then.

Can't you just call them both Granny followed by their first name?

IME you can say what you want the MIL known as but she will ignore you and do her own thing anyway .