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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else knows a little miss perfect?

103 replies

BadEducation · 03/09/2012 21:35

and is very envious of her?

My friend is lovely, but she is just so "perfect" and I just wonder what the secret is really! Grin

She has two children; a toddler who is just coming up for two, and a baby who is six weeks old. Already she is back in her size 8 clothes. She is breastfeeding exclusively. Her house is immaculate. She bakes and home cooks most days. She does craft activities with her toddler (who also looks immaculate!). She has been on two girls nights out, dressed up to the nines and looking great, does St Tropez tan on herself every week, she looked fantastic in her pregnancy too. Oh, and did I mention her 6 week old, breastfed baby is sleeping for 8 hours through the night now too? I'm assuming too that in a few months time she'll be going back part time to her brilliantly paid job that she absolutely loves and is good at!

At this stage, with a newborn and a toddler, albeit an older toddler than she has, I was barely managing to get dressed each day. I looked a mess for months after the birth of my youngest. The house was a tip for months as he didn't sleep well and wanted to be held constantly. There was certainly no time or energy for baking, home cooking, St Tropez tanning or nights out, much as I wanted there to be Grin

She is great, a lovely person, but I just wonder how she does it! I've asked her and she just laughs and shrugs it off.

What is the secret of this type of woman? I need tips!!

OP posts:
Original poster
BadEducation · 04/09/2012 08:41

I think lots of you are right; it is the full night's sleep that makes a difference. That and the fact that the baby is very placid and easy. I don't think I was about to put my youngest down for a year, and he was about 8 months before he did anything like resembling sleeping through the night!

OP posts:
Bumblequeen · 04/09/2012 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards · 04/09/2012 08:45

I disagree that sleep in the only reason. My 4 month old has been sleeping through since he was 8 weeks old and I'm no where near perfect. I wasn't perfect before kids, or after one or now with two. Some people are better at being together than others!

frayededges · 04/09/2012 08:53

is she one of those people who only needs to sleep 4 hours at night? maybe all the housework gets done at 5 in the morning. or maybe she doesn't spend hours on end laughing her head off at all the funny threads on MN. i'm sure my house would be much cleaner if i wasn't distracted by trivial fun stuff or generally slobbing around or snuggling with the dcs not to mention the endless cups of tea........

Totobear · 04/09/2012 09:04

Ohdearnigel, could you experiment with not doing it all one day and instead do something indulgent just to see how you felt?

I know 'perfect' women like that too - makes me want to hurl. But, then I agree with others about the sleep. Sleep and good quality of life are synonymous if you ask me.

Merrylegs · 04/09/2012 09:07

I think being thin again after having a baby really gives a false impression of having your act together.

For some magical witchcrafty wizardy reason I went back to a size 8 (I am 5'10, so v skinny) almost immediately after giving birth. It was as if I had literally expelled the space hopper from my front and it was like it had Never Been There.

And at once people say 'wow, you look amazing. How do you do it? etc.'

And that in turn makes you feel amazing and 'normal'.

Sometimes.

MrsRigby · 04/09/2012 09:11

OP yes, my neighbour is so bloody perfect I only refer to her now as Mrs Perfect. She is, exactely as how you have described.

And she likes to rub how perfect she is in my face.

Unfortunately, there are some perfect women out there.

DoMeDon · 04/09/2012 09:13

If she rubs your face in it she is not perfect.

Original poster
BadEducation · 04/09/2012 09:15

I think too, as someone else mentioned, that the key word is driven. Perfect women are probably very driven in their careers and transfer that drive over to their home life too.

OP posts:
cerealqueen · 04/09/2012 09:43

I think some of it also depends how much help you can hire in. I know a Miss Perfect with a nanny, cleaner and gardner. She is very driven, has the best of everything and is always seemingly smiling. Her husband though, is a joyless soul, who takes no pleasure in anything. So, me in direct comparison of what she has, with a husband who make me laugh (nearly) every day? No contest.

dappleton · 04/09/2012 09:45

just a little word of comfort for all those who have posted about size making a difference - it really doesn't, I hardly gained weight in pregnancy and now weigh less than i did pre-pregnancy. However i'm about as far from prefect as you can imagine, totally disorganised, my toddler is permanently hyper-active and rules the roost, my house is chaos and I was telling DH that I don't know what we are going to eat tonight as we've run out of invites from family and friends for dinner and have had a few too many take-away's lately!
That should make you all feel a bit better.

MrsRigby · 04/09/2012 09:48

dappleton I can totally relate to your post.

dappleton · 04/09/2012 09:51

MrsRigby Grin glad i'm not the only one!

AndFanjoWasHisNameO · 04/09/2012 09:52

I think a lot is to do with priority. I 'could' be cleaning (and really need to) but instead am typing this reply on my phone, buried under a couple of unruly toddlers in a den watching Peppa Pig Grin

trio38 · 04/09/2012 09:59

Why the FUCK would anyone iron an apron?

Wallace · 04/09/2012 10:06

I think the key difference is she isn't sitting around wasting her time on MN

If you can even call it "wasting" Grin

Original poster
BadEducation · 04/09/2012 10:07

AndFanjo, being in a den watching Peppa sounds fun!! FAR better than boring old cleaning!

OP posts:
Bedtime1 · 04/09/2012 10:09

Do you think she is just very organised type of person with plenty of sleep? Does she's have Rotas and makes lots of lists?

BandersnatchCummerbund · 04/09/2012 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeeBee12 · 04/09/2012 10:13

I have an exclusively bfed baby and I have never once had to get out of bed with her yet st 4 and a half months.She justs loves sleeping.

Dd1 never slept but you just get on with it.I had to go to college 10 days after birth.I had to work after 4 months to.You dont even think about it when your doing it.Everyone asks how you do it, but you got to do what you got to do.

With the weight thing I went out clubbing in a bikini top 4 months after birth last time to an ibiza style party.I didnt do anything its just my body and luck.Realistically if you have the type if body it doesnt matter if you ff, bf, put creams on or go/dont go gym you will just look the same as always.Its just metabolism.

I think getting back to 'normal' then helps keep your confidence up so you still pursue your social life and want sex etc as its in the mind.Also its a lot easier if you have a dh that does loads for you so that means its easier to go back to before.

TiggerWearsATriteSmile · 04/09/2012 10:16

She doesn't Mumsnet I bet!
Seriously, the amount of things I get done if I stay away from the net is unreal.

Speaking of which, I need to go iron my knickers. Toddles for now.

MyDogShitsMoney · 04/09/2012 10:23

That was me. No really, it was.

Back in my skinny jeans within a week, placid well sleeping baby, immaculate house, home cooking (not baking, i'm not bonkers), hair and make-up done every day.

It wasn't an act at all, I really was loving every minute.

4 months later 'd'h had an affair.

I'm now a chubby single mum on benefits with a cupboard full of pasta 'n sauce and roots down to my ears Sad

Ds is still perfect though Wink

Bedtime1 · 04/09/2012 10:29

My dog- that's awful. I'm sure your not chubby.

Badvoc · 04/09/2012 10:31

Luck?

festivalwidow · 04/09/2012 10:35

Oh yes.
My birth photos show someone in a badly-fitting hospital gown who has swallowed a beach ball, been electrocuted and been in a fight, holding a sweet-looking baby while knackered-looking bloke perches precariously on the side of a hospital bed.
Friend's birth photos show a serene, svelte-looking earth mother with perfect hair in an antique nightgown resting against feather pillows while holding a sweet-looking baby. Beside her, punching the air in a victorious gesture, is her similarly immaculate husband (in a jacket and tie I might add) who beams benevolently at the camera.
He composed a song for the baby an hour after the birth - while his wife and child slept peacefully, he got a few mates he knew to record it so it would be one of the first things the baby heard.
My DH did sneak food into the hospital when he managed to hear me beg for vegetables over DD's constant screaming, which was nice.
It has continued along these lines for the last two years.

I'm sure there's something she looks at of mine and thinks 'how does she do it?' but I can't think what it would be..