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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give an 18 year old 30k

168 replies

WhenSheWasBadSheWasAnOrange · 03/09/2012 14:00

I have a huge disagreement with dh. We have set up a savings account for dd and plan to save £80-90 pounds a month for her until she is 18 (she is 19 months old now).

I have found a cash isa at a really good interest rate but the money would be in her name, we would not be able to access it until she is eighteen. Once she is eighteen the money would be hers and we would have no control over it.

With interest this money would probably add up to over £30,000. It would be there to help her get through uni, or money for a car or deposit on a house.

Dh thinks I am mad leaving dd this amount of cash when she is eighteen. He thinks there is a huge risk she will blow it on amazing holidays or a very expensive car (or god forbid drugs).

I am being stupid saving this amount of cash for dd?

OP posts:
ChopstheDuck · 03/09/2012 14:01

yes. it would make more sense to put it in a trust when she is 18.

Portofino · 03/09/2012 14:01

Open an account in YOUR name and save the money on her behalf.

HazleNutt · 03/09/2012 14:04

Save the money for her, to use for uni fees or whatever, but no i wouldn't just give 30K to a 18-year old.

Joygirl78 · 03/09/2012 14:04

We have been having exactly this conversation regarding child trust fund / child Isa and concluded it's a bad plan to save in dc's names. We will save for them under our names so can ensure money goes towards education /flat / something useful.

scarletforya · 03/09/2012 14:05

Yabu

Drugs/holidays and clothes is exactly what she will spend it on, unless she is a very unusual and exceptional teenager!

Wigeon · 03/09/2012 14:05

If you save it in your name, then you still have the choice of handing it over to your DD when she is 18, if you think she can cope with the responsibility. Or keeping it in your name until she is 21, or 25, or about to buy a house. So you could still have it your way in the end.

Original poster
WhenSheWasBadSheWasAnOrange · 03/09/2012 14:05

I could put it in my name or in trust but then the rate of interest is rubbish (difference of £12,000 over 16 years).

Could I somehow put it in the isa in her name but not tell her about it?

OP posts:
gobbledegook1 · 03/09/2012 14:05

Not unreasonable to save for her but I wouldn't release that amount of cash at 18 I'd probably wait until at least 21 or until you feel she's mature enough to put it to good use. If she doesn't know about it then it isn't like she'll be pestering to dip into it and will come as a nice surprise when you decide to hand it over.

Wigeon · 03/09/2012 14:07

You could of course not tell her about it, but when she's 18, the bank will presumably refuse to talk to you about it any more.

Is there really not another good savings product which would be in your name? You could speak to an independent financial adviser?

porcamiseria · 03/09/2012 14:07

this is the MOST ANNOYING THING

I am going to buy some bonds for my DC as there is no way I want them getting less than 30K, wow you are good savers cash when they turn 18

has I received $10K aged 18 I can safely say I would have spunked it up the wall

so we put £10 pm in the CTFs, and I save elsewhere for them

I wish I could have 2 ISA in my name

Original poster
WhenSheWasBadSheWasAnOrange · 03/09/2012 14:08

My mum did something similar for me, I grew up knowing she had put some money aside for a deposit on a house. (5k)

I got the money when I was 21, it was in an account in my name but she kept the account details to herself. I only spent the money she gave me last year when we bought our house.

OP posts:
Dawndonna · 03/09/2012 14:08

This was done by my oldest son's father. My oldest son is still, at 27 very angry with his father. We begged and pleaded for it to be 25, but exh insisted 18. Obviously 18 year old blew the lot, in a year and a half. 40 grand, gone. As ds says, had it been 25, had his father listened he would now own a house.

LadyKooKoo · 03/09/2012 14:09

Go on to www.moneysavingexpert.com as there is lots of information on there. If you are happy to keep moving the money every year then there are plenty of accounts which can be in your name and earn just as good interest.

amybelle1990 · 03/09/2012 14:09

Insanity!!!

£30,000 sounds like a bit much... Save it in your own name and then see what the situation is like for uni/houses when she gets to it. She might be managing perfectly well with a job and studies and using it for a surprise holiday might be more welcome.

QuintessentialShadows · 03/09/2012 14:10

My friend discovered that her mum had a savings account in her name when she was 19. It was 20k. (A massive amount 20 years ago!) It took her 6 months to spend it all. Travels, clothes, nights out.... Dropped out of Uni she had so much fun spending money...

It broke her poor mums heart. Mum was a widow, who worked all hours in a small burger joint she owned, never employing any staff to cut costs (other than her daughter to help her earn some cash), saving money for her daughter.

Well, this 40 something year old woman is now selling wooo from a stall in Covent Garden.

Fizzylemonade · 03/09/2012 14:12

No way, I went to Uni and saw people blow through huge amounts of money in a weekend, admittedly not £30k but eye watering amounts.

We have savings accounts for our children but there is no way I am handing it over to them when they hit 18 or 21. It is to be spent on them not by them. Big difference.

wimblehorse · 03/09/2012 14:12

Dawndonna - your ds is angry with his father for giving him £40k at aged 18 because your ds blew it?

I could understand you being cross, but surely it was your ds's choice?

Out of interest, what did he blow it on?

porcamiseria · 03/09/2012 14:12

whats woooooo? quint?

buttercrumble · 03/09/2012 14:13

It's a very nice thing to do, but i wouldn't give 18k to to an 18 year old. I would wait till at least 21 or 25. I inherrited 22k as an 18 year old ,and i blew the lot in a short space of time. You dont appreciate that amount of money at that age, i am nearly 40 now and still wish i had been more sensible with my windfall...........

DesperatelySeekingPomBears · 03/09/2012 14:14

I would keep it in your name and never ever tell her about it.

Imagine how amazing it would be, in your late 20s or early 30s to be chatting to your DPs about how you have found the most amazing house and you're going to go for it but it will be a big mortgage and then they turn around and say 'about that, we have £30k+ in savings for you to put towards it'.

It would be AMAZING! If she knows about the money, even if it's not in her name she will nag you to hand it over for silly things or rush into buying a house that might not be perfect for her, whereas she will think a lot more carefully about major financial purchases if she thinks they're going to have to come out of her own money.

aquashiv · 03/09/2012 14:15

Well, this 40 something year old woman is now selling wooo from a stall in Covent Garden?
is it wool I am hoping that a stall in COvent garden is actually a good thing the poor mother.
Can you not remain as the trustee for the accounts thats what we do.

Waspie · 03/09/2012 14:15

I save for my son into a Little Rock account in his name (as he's a non-taxpayer). I can't have an ISA for him as he's got a CTF. I can access it as the named signatory and plan to use it for school holiday's or large purchases he needs. Maybe an account like that would be worth considering for your daughter?

Halifax (if you can put up with their incompetance and general fuckwittery, which I can't) do a really good regular saver for children at 6% Halifax Childrens

aufaniae · 03/09/2012 14:16

Please don't give it to her at 18!

£30k?! She will probably fritter it, and you could feel hugely resentful for saving for so long only to see her waste it.

Save it in your name. Then spend it on stuff for her at 18 (uni, car, house deposit).

A friend of mine inherited £40K at 18. He'd spent it in a year, and had nothing really to show for it besides a guitar and a car (which cost £2k). He actually gave away the last £10K, he divided it up and dished it out among his friends - because he was so sick of people asking him for money and expecting him to pay for everything.

My cousin inherited £10k at 19. At around this time he got a new girlfriend. She was basically just after the money. She let him spend all his money on her, and then take out loans and credit cards. When all the money was gone she left him in about £8K debt!

Your DD would have to be mature way beyond her years to come into £30K and spend it on sensible stuff.

Much better you save it in your own name, then use it to buy her things she actually needs.

justabigdisco · 03/09/2012 14:16

How do you get 30k by saving 90 quid a month for 18 years? That IS a good interest rate....

redpanda13 · 03/09/2012 14:17

My niece inherited money at 3 years old and it was placed in trust for her. She is 18 in October and is planning to use the money to pay for uni. She is off to study medicine. Not every 18 year old is a feckless, drug abuser. Being an older mum the majority of my friend's children are teenagers and they are sensible.