To give an 18 year old 30k

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasAnOrange]

I have a huge disagreement with dh. We have set up a savings account for dd and plan to save £80-90 pounds a month for her until she is 18 (she is 19 months old now).

I have found a cash isa at a really good interest rate but the money would be in her name, we would not be able to access it until she is eighteen. Once she is eighteen the money would be hers and we would have no control over it.

With interest this money would probably add up to over £30,000. It would be there to help her get through uni, or money for a car or deposit on a house.

Dh thinks I am mad leaving dd this amount of cash when she is eighteen. He thinks there is a huge risk she will blow it on amazing holidays or a very expensive car (or god forbid drugs).

I am being stupid saving this amount of cash for dd?

Even when they get there student loan i here it gets spunked my bil tells me it all get spent within weeks and then they live like the homeless for the rest of the year

One big problem with keeping money (you have saved for your child) in an account in your own name - if something happens to you, the child may get only some, or none, of the money.

Example, bankruptcy, or other serious financial problems, the money would be part of your assets and forfit.
Redundancy or accident/illness of a serious nature - the money would be counted as you asset so you might have to use it up before other help was available.

Death - the money would be part of your estate and would not go to the child unless all debts settled AND it was bequeathed to them in your will. The tax man may also get a chunk, depending what you are worth, dead.

We saved/are saving money in trust till 18, and a few hundred £ each they have saved from birthday money/chores. We told out DS's how much we were saving and what we expected them to use it for (Uni). DS1 is 18, about to start 2nd year of Uni and has been financially very sensible over the past year, living on a budget and planning his spending. Ds2 is starting Uni this week, he seems pretty clued up financially as well.

I don't think AGE is the issue, it's lack of financial awareness - schools are not teaching kids about finance, and too many parents don't talk about money. HIDING money from your kids is not the way to teach them how to use it!

With our DC, since birth, half, at least, of any money gift for birthdays/Christmas would be put in their own savings account (with them encouraged even as toddlers to hand over their money themselves and read their bank statements). We paid them small sums to do "jobs" and encouraged them to save for expensive things they wanted (often we would "match funds" and pay for half if they saved the other half). Sometimes for a very expensive item, we refused to pay but gave them ideas for how to earn the money - all our DC's have worked (and set up a little business!) to earn money to buy computers/games consoles and other items for themselves when we said "no", when actually we could have afforded to buy it for them... we did this to teach them the value of money and give them a work ethic, and actually, that does seem to work!

I don't think age is a factour or lack of financial awareness. I have two dc who have been brought up the same, one is hopeless with money and would blow the lot - any amount as money is for spending. The other would be careful and spend wisely.

Sorry but I don't think you can teach it.

Thing is once you give the money to another person you can't control how they spend that money as it is not yours any longer - it is their money to do what they like with, whether that is at 18-25 or older

I inherited 10k at 18. Was given a further 2k by Dad. I spent some of it (1k) on my gap year (had earned the rest), but saved the rest of the inheritance. It paid for a masters when I was 25, and then I used it to get a visa in Denmark, and then I used it to buy half a car here. So it lasted 12 years. Not all 18 year olds are irresponsible.

I hadn't thought about this at all until now! DD is 2, so we got the £250 payment. I'd imagine that by the time she's a teenager it will be possible to keep her CTF a secret, as so many children will have them.

We're saving money for our two dd's (who are currently 12 and 7). But we won't be letting them have acces to it until they're 21. That way, they're less likely to blow it.

*access

Sorry, been out. Yes, he's angry with his father for not listening to the quite large number of people who said he won't be ready and he'll blow it, please wait until he's 25.
He blew it on cars, parties, casinos and drugs. He ended up not bothering with the last bit of sixth form and not going to uni.
He is now very responsible, in a very responsible position for which he has worked extraordinarily hard, however he regrets not doing university etc.
You sounded surprised that he blamed his father for giving him 40 grand, but you are unaware of the circumstances, and yes, it was his father who was in the wrong.

i save in my own name in severaL different accounts for each of my children,my intention is that when i see fit this money belongs to them whilst i dont see fit the money belongs to me.at the point that i give it to them it is theres and what they do with it is not my concern i may decide to never give it to them.

should i die then it belongs to my sister who knows my intentions and would deal with it exactly as i would. not one of my children are aware of this and they wont be untill it is given to them.

my mother saved for them as well and was open about this a few of the older ones have allways refered to this as there money one has allready spent it all mostly on a useless waste of space who they are convinced they where in love with.

should my suituation change to the point that i either cant do this or need it then i will use it.

should any of my children wish to buy a house or employ a carer then thats when i will say 'ok i have these funds lets use them' should i decide to just hand it over then i do so in the knowledge that i cant control how its spent.

as things stand at the mo i very strongly feel that i have busted a gut and gone without so i can make my kids adult lives easyer not just to save this money but also to fund a significant life insurance i havent done this so they can piss it up against a wall or have a party lifestyle and i will not risk my going without meaning that they will.ive had years when i have worked 80 hour weeks to make sure they will be able to own a house or have care needs catered for not so they can take no responsability for there futures

I'm saving money for my children, currently debating what to do also. I got 3000 at 18 my grandparents had scrimped and saved since I was born. It might not be as much as some of the eye watering amounts on here but to me it was a huge amount and I always knew the real value of it iyswim. I used it to fund uni and travel. I could never have faced my grandparents again of I'd blown it all on clothes and going out. It was a huge help. I would like to do the same for my children but the best interest I've found ironically holds it in trust until their 21, am watching people's views with interest here

If you think about it is is about the same amount many parents give per year to their children once the school fees are no longer needed to be paid then it is just as easy to pass that amount onto the children until they get themselves sorted into a career.

Age has something to do with it but their personalities are a bigger issue. I didn't blow a large amount that I received at 20 and don't think I would have at 18. On the other hand my sons would probably have blown the lot at 18 but now at 22 and 23 definitely wouldn't. Their maturity with regard to budgeting and the worth of things has changed so much in those few years.

My son's friend was left 30K ish at 21 and it is gone 2 years later with a now not new, not so flash car to show for it (21K went on that).

Not all kids are unable to see sense with money. My son has a goodly sum in his savings account that he would have been able to draw on from being 18. he calls it his 'house deposit' and will not touch it until he wants to buy his own home.

You need to ensure your children are brought up to be savvy with money.
You will know your self if your child is capable of dealing with the money at 18. Can you have a trust that states the money is not to be touched ' until x and x deem them capable of dealing with it properly'.

DawnDonna, I can't see any circumstances in which it could be your son's father's fault if your son was stupid enough to blow £40,000 at the age of 18. If he's now learned his lesson, all well and good. However, if he is still blaming his father, it sounds as if he has yet to learn anything about gratitude, humility and personal responsibility. He had an amazing opportunity and he blew it - he should man up, accept that he made poor choices, and stop whining about his Dad.

I'm pretty baffled by it too anonymumous. If he's angry it sounds like it should be with himself.

The issue is that the OP has found a specific account, an ISA, which will give this level of return but which has set restrictions. If a trust is set up it will have fees and will also need to make some investment decisions. If OP withdraws any money before the child is 18 then the gross element of the interest will be clawed back and taxed.

OP, if your Dd will still be dependent on you at 18, I think you would have a fair case for saying if she wants Uni fees paid or whatever then she must transfer most of the balance to you when she turns 18 (give her a bit of fun money as a sweetener!) and you will pay fees from that or whatever. Yes she could refuse but you could also require her to pay rent erc.

If she grows up "good with money" you might feel comfortable not adding thus stipulation at the time but you can wait and see.

Depends on the child, but for many I'd think 18 is too young. Maybe another way to look at it is to ask what sensible things the child might need / want to buy that couldn't wait until aged 25. eg if you're hoping DD would use it towards buying a house, then she's not likely to need it aged 18 anyway so no advantage in giving it to her early

Speechless at DawnDonna's son. I've heard a few things in my time about entitled, feckless, self-obsessed kids, but this just beats the lot.

I had a trust fund which matured just before I went to university. It wasn't huge but it meant I graduated without debts, and by adding to it in dribs and drabs over the years it paid for the deposit on my first flat and eventually towards my wedding. My parents were not rich but have been incredibly shrewd about money over the years and I hope I have learned from their example, and honoured it.

I was given £10,000 at 18. I spent it on living at university, a new bathroom and a university module that involved travel. Its gone now but it lasted me four years of living with a ting student loan and not having to get a job while I studied. It also enabled me to train as a teacher which I could not have afforded otherwise.

Not all teenagers love the drugs.

I love that some people live in a world where their Mother supports them in the view that their Father was a selfish prick for giving them 40k and it's is entirely their Dad's fault that they squandered the lot

i can think of a few reasons why it could be the dads fault in dawndonna post obviously just guesses but one could be right.

if the money was saved due to a refuseal to maintain the boy when he was a kid.

the money was inherited from another family member whose intention was for her ds to recive it later and dad was a trustee

ds was told money had been split i.e 1 lot at 18 another at 25 when it wasnt

it was surposed to be a larger sum but dad stole a portion.

however none of these are reasons to negate ds's responsability he should man up and take responsability for that aspect. unless ds has sn's

I think it is because of the mother that the boy feels that the father is to blame, I can't imagine how else he got that into his head. Really, I can understand her being angry, because she warned the ex of the possibility of this happening, but for the son to be angry at his father saving him a nice amount of money takes the indeed.

My friend was given her inheritance from when her Dad died when she was 17 and the rest at 19. She blew it all on drugs and partying. Now she is 35 with 2 kids and is a single mother. She bitterly regrets it and wishes it had been given to her at 25.

If anyone had given me £30k when I was 18 I would have blown it

Save it in your name so you can retain control on what it is spent on

I think having 30K when you are 18 is a massive temptation and a dampener on ambition for many an 18 year old!

That is why I do not take part in these schemes, but save for the kids in MY name, so I can pay their uni fees etc.

I would have gone on an amazing gap year if I'd had 30K at 18!