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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

am i being ungrateful and stupid?

105 replies

mamamibbo · 02/09/2012 23:20

MIL has decided the children need one of those big garden trampolines they are 10 (with asd) 3,2 and 7 months so she is getting them one for christmas, which is very generous

but i dont like them, i think they are dangerous

apparently i should be grateful she wants to spend that amount of money one them and accept the gift as that would be ungrateful and its stupd,i "cant wrap them in cotton wool, they wouldnt sell them if they were dangerous"

aibu?

OP posts:

FizzyLaces · 02/09/2012 23:45

Best thing we ever got - been used every day for over 5 years. Regardless of weather.

ChaoticismyLife · 02/09/2012 23:45

Tell MIL that if she wants to buy them a trampoline then she can keep it in her garden and be prepared to supervise them every time while you relax with a cup of tea

maddening · 02/09/2012 23:46

what about choosing something else for the garden - like a swingset with slide and den?

Peeenut · 02/09/2012 23:47

YANBU

It doesn't matter how safe they are, it's your garden. I'd be be pissed if someone decided for me that our lawn should be take up with a large bit of play equipment.

You are the only one who can decide what will work for your family. A 10 yr old bouncing, whilst pre-schoolers help a baby up, may not work for everyone.

ThePigOnTheWall · 02/09/2012 23:48

I think that's rubbish bedlam

How does a child visibly assess the load bearing capability of a rope swing or know the currents in a river? I think a trampoline has far fewer uncontrollable and unpredictable variables than a trampoline

Nanny0gg · 02/09/2012 23:48

So, all of you who think the OP is being U. If your mother or MiL wanted to buy your children something you weren't happy with/loathed/didn't want them to have, you said No and then she bought it anyway...

You'd all be happy with that would you?

Backtobedlam · 02/09/2012 23:52

Obviously they shouldn't be swimming in rivers full stop...that is common sense. I've actually seen 3 under 5's using a rope swing and they would tentatively try it first to see if it held their weight before swinging higher, and this was without adult intervention. A child when excitable is unlikely to realise bouncing too high with a sibling on there could result in a serious accident, or trying out a somersault could end in a broken neck. Its not like they can test it a little bit first. Obviously it's up to the individual what they decide to do, level of supervision etc.but don't just dismiss someone else's thoughts as 'rubbish'

alienreflux · 02/09/2012 23:56

yep, my boy loves his, and him and his lttle mate, (he's 4 she is 3) eat on it, talk on it read books,it's like their 'den' they bounce on it sometimes, but like some pp said watch with lots of kids or different sized ones. sure she wouldn't be offended if you said i'd rather have x for them? she probably has never thought about the downsides,(they do all have nets don't they? i wouldn't get one without)

InkyBinky · 02/09/2012 23:57

What about suggesting to your DM that she get monkey bars. My DC's also loved them and I think they are safer. I was surprised how much they got used even when. The DC's were older. It is also easy to put a little swing on them for the younger DC's.

WorraLiberty · 02/09/2012 23:57

The op is not being unreasonable if she doesn't want her kids to have one

However, her reasoning is a bit off imo.

They're not more dangerous than any other piece of exercise equipment that's used properly.

Blimey, kids have broken bones kicking a football round a park...it's just bad luck.

I once suffered painful whiplash when I sneezed!

ThePigOnTheWall · 02/09/2012 23:58

Bedlam an excitable child is unlikely to assess any risk.

Dozens and dozens of kids have used our trampoline with no ill effects so...

I do agree that I would be pissed off if mil bought something I had not agreed to. But that's not the same argument at all

QuintessentialShadows · 02/09/2012 23:59

8ft is very small.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt · 03/09/2012 00:01

That is right re injuries caused by all manner of things.

But I don't think I could be arsed with a trampoline and 3 young kids tbh.

sundew · 03/09/2012 00:08

YANBU to not want a trampoline - but I am amazed with the response regarding trampolines. My 2 dds love theirs and it has been the best thing I ever bought - one of those few things you buy that has been worth every single penny.

HolyParalympicGoldBatman · 03/09/2012 00:09

YANBU to not want one. It's your garden, it's up to you.

DC's do love them though and it's quite often a toy/piece of equipment that gets used and used and used.

YABU about the safety issue. If it is put up properly and used properly the chances of injury are fairly small. Some children have broken their arms/legs on them, but some children have broken arms/legs playing football, doing ballet/gymnastics, riding a bike/horse/skateboard, rollerblading, falling over whilst running/walking/hopping/jumping, falling off of a swing/climbing frame/tree/the sofa. There is a risk of an injury, but to try and eliminate all risk of them ever hurting themselves is stupid and 'wrapping them in cotton wool', MIL is right there.

Backtobedlam · 03/09/2012 00:14

www.avon.nhs.uk/phnet/Avonsafe/Trampolines/Trampoline%20Injuries.pdf

An example you could show mil if you really don't want one-it also describes the level of supervision that you'd need to give. I think it has to be your choice and not hers, if you feel uneasy about it then that's your perogative.

Thymeout · 03/09/2012 00:23

On one of the Channel 4 A & E programmes, a consultant said that she would never buy a trampoline for her children. I suppose because she sees what happens when things go wrong.

NotAnAxeMurderer · 03/09/2012 00:29

I would tell her that you'd love one - in two years time when the younger children are a bit older. Otherwise you'll be spending your time in constant supervision.

Also, it's your garden so it doesn't matter what your MIL wants.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/09/2012 00:29

Regardless of the safety aspect - they are big buggers that dominate the garden and kill the grass underneath them!

If she is going to insist on them having it, I suggest you insist it stays at her house for them to play with on visits to her. And she can supervise the on it too.

omfgkillmenow · 03/09/2012 00:49

Jumping through more hoops, you lawn grows much quicker underneath the trampoline its totally lush, because some light gets through and the grass strives to be taller to outgrow the shade, the grass under tramp is twice height of the rest of the garden. anyway thats btw, i love my trampoline OP my kids spend hours on it, but your house your rules

Startailoforangeandgold · 03/09/2012 00:51

The major problem I can see is ensuring your oldest child only ever goes on it on his own.

DD2 managed to break her arm falling on the trampoline, aided by someone rather larger - this is a very common cause of accidents.

She still loves it and DD1 and her have been out there today making up games. There aren't many active things 11 and 14 yo girls do.

Startailoforangeandgold · 03/09/2012 00:54

Oh! I should add that DD2 previously broke her other arm falling out of a tree, so a definite candidate for a cotton wool suit.

StateofConfusion · 03/09/2012 01:28

We've had one since dd was 1 and ds 2. They're both totally fine, never so much as bumped heads, its one of the best things we've ever spent money on and the best way to get rid of the mad energy they have most days, unless its raining or snowing they go on it every day.

But your garden so it up to you what's out there.

mymatemax · 03/09/2012 01:31

best thing i ever bought, my two use it all year round, whatever the weather.
But your house, your choice.

Blu · 03/09/2012 01:36

As long as it has a safety net and one child at a time bounces on it, there's absolutely no problem at all.

So, with 4 kids, the OP is supposed to be able to manage her 10 yo with ASD plus 2 pre-schoolers to take turns and not go on together, while looking after a baby...all day every day?

Sounds like a stressful use of a huge area of garden to me.

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