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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my DP should be invited if I am?

66 replies

Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:19

Me and DP have been together for 18months on a few weeks. Was invited to Dads BBQ today (on another thread), didn't go for numerous reasons. One being my DP wasn't invited. I don't have to do everything with him but expect him to be invited to family gatherings etc. everyone else who went/was invited had their OHs invited too.

AIBU to think he should be invited?

OP posts:
honeytea · 02/09/2012 19:24

I would just bring him along, we are never invited as a couple to family things I just bring my DP along with me. The same is true with my family, I'd just say do you fancy coming over on sunday? not specify bring DP.

Nigglenaggle · 02/09/2012 19:24

Its a bit odd but maybe was an oversight? Have your family met him before? Do they not get on?

ihearsounds · 02/09/2012 19:25

Aren't all invites as a couple regardless of if the other person is mentioned? This is how we do it, only mention specific people if not suitable for kids or having a girly night.

NermalAndGarfield · 02/09/2012 19:25

YANBU, it's not a nice feeling is it. I'm assuming your family have met your DP numerous times before if you've been together 18 months.

Was he definitely not invited though? Or did they just assume that as they were inviting you he had an automatic invite?

My DH never goes to my family gatherings, so he now doesn't get an invite! He knows he's more than welcome if he wants to go though, he just doesn't feel comfortable going and my family know and understand that.

PopcornCity · 02/09/2012 19:29

YANBU. You always invite both halves of a married couple. With the obvious exceptions such as hen nights etc.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:30

Nope was a verbal invite yesterday which was a bit like this 'Dords what YOU doing tomorrow as we're having a BBQ for my birthday. YOU are more than welcome to come.
Was emphasis on the YOU, was also said right infront of my DP

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/09/2012 19:32

Do you live with your DP or is he a boyfriend?

That might make a difference to your Dad inviting him...how many times has he met him?

ZillionChocolate · 02/09/2012 19:37

Isn't "you" singular and plural in English?

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:38

Currently living together at Mums if that counts. Dads met him a fair bit, DP was invited round for Boxing Day last year which is why im confused about him never being invited.

Dad also moans and makes some rude comment if I turn up & DH is with me

OP posts:
Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:40

Zillion - the way he said it definitely meant just me. I also know as after the invite was in kitchen with Dad and he said just you come tomorrow I don't want that muppet here

OP posts:
Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:40

Ahh 2 posts ago it changed to DH grr bloody predictive. Meant to be DP

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 02/09/2012 19:42

Well that puts a different complexion on it. Why do they dislike your DP?

squeakytoy · 02/09/2012 19:42

does your dad ever see you when you are on your own?

WorraLiberty · 02/09/2012 19:44

I also know as after the invite was in kitchen with Dad and he said just you come tomorrow I don't want that muppet here

That's not even a drip feed

That's a bloody tidal wave.....

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:45

Picnic - I have no idea, he's always been polite etc etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:45

Squeaky - do see Dad when I'm alone a fair bit

OP posts:
Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:46

Worra - sorry for that.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 02/09/2012 19:47

Then why not ask your Dad why they don't like him / want him around, if you really have no idea ?

dottyspotty2 · 02/09/2012 19:49

Reading your other thread [or some of it] it seemed you where an afterthought to provide a taxi service anyway TBH if thats how he treats you why bother.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:49

Have tried that and just get blanked, or told that he does like him.

Really don't know what to do anymore as I feel really bad for DP when I go off alone as Dad won't have him there

OP posts:
altinkum · 02/09/2012 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:50

Dotty - that is how I feel, an afterthought so I don't bother as much as I use to. I just feel that I should my DP should be included too

OP posts:
MammaTJisWearingGold · 02/09/2012 19:51

Worra I got drenched as I was stood on the beach when it happened!!

YWNBU to not go, but YABU to think you should dictate who gets invited to your dads. He obviously has his reasons.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 19:52

Certainly no limit on guests as was at home. Also why shouldn't my DP be invited when my brothers OH was when they have only been together about 2/3weeks

OP posts:
PopcornCity · 02/09/2012 19:52

Why don't they get on?

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