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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To email them?

52 replies

WelshMaenad · 02/09/2012 18:56

took my kids to a park we like today - it's a bit if a drive but lovely and the equipment is nicely accessible for Dd(6) who has a physical disability. When we got there there was some marching band contest, we watched for a minute but dd and DS (2) just wanted the park so we went over.

There were hoards of marching band kids ranging from 8/9 up to mid-late teens in the play park. Their behaviour was DISGUSTING. Spitting, throwing litter, older ones sat smoking on the play equipment, and all of them swearing their heads off. Now, I fucking live a good swear, but not in front if toddlers every third word. While I was watching DS (planning on getting the he'll out) dd went up to the teenage girls monopolising the basket swing and asked nicely if she could have a go. One responded "she can fuck off, I'M fucking on it!" but before I could get over there one of them lifted her on. They proceeded to mock her, try to push her off, and trample on her. I grabbed DS, retrieved her, and we left.

I did complain to a contest official as we were leaving but I was still fuming when we got home so tracked down the website of the band mist if them were in (they were in logoed t shirts) and emailed them, telling them what had happened and how appalled I was.

Unreasonable?

OP posts:
PeggyCarter · 02/09/2012 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picnicbasketcase · 02/09/2012 18:59

I think it's very reasonable to complain to someone but I'm not sure it'd do very much. They can't ban teenagers from a park.

TheMonster · 02/09/2012 18:59

Yanbu.

Stinax · 02/09/2012 19:00

Not unreasonable at all. I'd be livid. Fucking right - e-mail them.

TyrannoWearsGoldKnickers · 02/09/2012 19:00

Not at all unreasonable. I think I'd have called the police, so you've been very restrained IMO. If they haven't responded by end of Monday I'd email again and say you want a full apology and if you don't get one, you will take it further. Grabbing your DD is an assault and if they were mocking her because of her disability it's a hate crime.

I'm getting angry just typing this!

startwig1982 · 02/09/2012 19:00

That's awful! Your poor dd, I hope she is ok and not too upset. I don't think Yabu at all. I would hope they would have a word with the kids but I wouldn't hold my breath.

squoosh · 02/09/2012 19:01

YANBU

I'd definitely email, they sound like vile brats.

Original poster
WelshMaenad · 02/09/2012 19:02

She was righteously pissed off! She's made of stern stuff. She informed the official that 'those girls were very very ruuuuude!"

OP posts:
MagicHouse · 02/09/2012 19:02

Not unreasonable at all, your poor DD. Sounds like you behaved impeccably in not having a huge go at them then and there. If they were in logoed t-shirts they are an advert for/ representing the band. If I had anything to do with organising the band I would be appalled at their behaviour and would definitely want to know so I could talk to the children about how unacceptable it was.

LadyKooKoo · 02/09/2012 19:03

Not unreasonable at all, if it were me I would also see if they have a facebook page and relay it on there too.

squoosh · 02/09/2012 19:03

God I'd missed completely that your daughter has a disability! Do as Tyranno advises.

cheesesarnie · 02/09/2012 19:04

ofcourse you should email.
whilst in the logo'd tshirts they were representing that organisation. if they cant behave whilst wearing it the organisers need to know.

your poor dd.

lurkedtoolong · 02/09/2012 19:04

You absolutely did the right thing and I think if you don't hear back within a day or two you should email back asking for an update and pointing out Tyranno's points. Hope your DD isn't too upset

FairLadyRantALot · 02/09/2012 19:07

They mocked your DD :(
I am not sure how you kept it together.... deffo E-mail them....

user12785 · 02/09/2012 19:08

What Magichouse said. They were in uniform, representing an organisation, so I'd phone it. I've phoned 2 local high schools in recent years, and they were very apologetic and said they'd deal with it.

MamaBear17 · 02/09/2012 19:11

That is shocking! Email!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/09/2012 19:16

Picnicbasket - of course you can't ban teenagers from the park, and I don't think the OP is saying that's what she wants - but that doesn't give the teenagers the right to abuse other children. Since they were there representing an organisation (their band, in the band contest) I would expect the adults with them to provide at least some supervision, and to ensure a basic minimum standard of behaviour, which this fell well beneath.

I would email the band. And if I were the band's organisers, I would be mortified to hear what the teenagers had been up to, and would bollock them severely, and insist on a letter of apology to the OP.

picnicbasketcase · 02/09/2012 19:25

Many apologies, I misread the OP and somehow missed that they were part of the organisation. I hope the people in charge can identify the culprits and punish them for their appalling behaviour.

Original poster
WelshMaenad · 02/09/2012 19:27

They have a facebook presence but it's a 'profile' rather than a group IYSWIM.

I was involved in trampolining as a teen and travelled around to competitions and exhibitions. We would never have dared behave like that. Our coach would have MULLERED us.

OP posts:
Startailoforangeandgold · 02/09/2012 19:32

YANBU
In that situation I would assume the Band Leaders were in loco parentis and any accidents would have been covered by their insurance. That's certainly the case if you take Guides or Scouts to an event.
They are most certainly responsible for their behaviour.

Ample · 02/09/2012 19:37

Your poor dd. That's disgusting.
YANBU.

Idlegirl83 · 02/09/2012 19:38

YANBU While in the uniform they should be the responsibility of the band leaders and its awful that they were allowed to behave like that.
Definately follow up if no reply.
Do you have a local newspaper with a 'readers comments' page?! We have one where I live and I remember a couple of years ago a very angry lady writing in about behaviour of students from a local school who were out and about in the uniform. The school were mortified and apologised endlessly!

TheLazyGirlBlog · 02/09/2012 19:41

I was a Guide in my teens and if we'd behaved like that, I agree we'd have been in deep shit. And quite rightly so.

Your poor DD ((hugs))

SnapesOnAPlane · 02/09/2012 19:44

YANBU
I am disgusted. How very fucking dare they try to push a little 6 yo girl off a swing, and TRAMPLE on her?! Seriously?
Jesus, what?! I'd be raging, utterly raging.
Can you remember the nasty horrible peoples description that actively hurt her? I'd mention their descriptions and hope they're properly disciplined. With a fucking cane.
Or excluded from the group and parents told about their disgusting behaviour at the least.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 02/09/2012 19:47

Yanbu - email them.

On a lighter note your dd sounds awesome Grin