to ask what you call farts?

[melonandpapayaandmango]

I just noticed on the other thread there was a reference to a pump - AIBU or is this a horrible word?

They are farts in this house but I tell DD and DS1 to not do them in public or talk about them. DD's nursery call them trumps and I wish they wouldn't as she laughs like a loon at Nellie the Elephant now ...

I hate all words for fart, for some reason. They all make my toes curl, but I think 'pump' might be the worst.

'Trump' is twee and sickly. 'Fart' is a bit ... crude, I think, although I'm a big swearer/crude-language user so I don't know why that bothers me. 'Bottom burps' is 'zany' and gives me the nails-down-a-blackboard feeling. 'fluffs' is just plain bizarre.

Actually, I do quite like 'Another cake, vicar?'.

I see some people blame the dog or a resident duck. We jsut have very creaky floorboards.

A friend's very small cousin was told off at school for using the F word. Turns out she had just said fart! I don't have a problem with the word but it can be a bit cringey around certain people. In my house growing up it was always 'had wind' which I thought was very boring compared to some words my friends used, guffed/pumped/keffed etc. I don't like the twee ones as much such as "fluff" and "float an air biscuit", but I do use "has someone stepped on a duck?" quite often. I'm very interested in linguistics and colloquialisms, so it always amuses me to learn new ones!

'keffed'.

Farts, and DD (aged 2) says "FARTY BUM BUM!"

But this thread has reminded me of school (in Yorkshire) when it was "boffs" - "Eh, who's boffed!?" :o

I just looked up 'keffed' on Urban Dictionary... it's apparently a euphemism for 'fucked'!!! I grew up in Northern England in the 90s where this was a common term for farting, I can't believe we were all going around school saying "Who just keffed!?"

Trumped. Although I hasten to point out that is dh not me. And now he's got the kids saying it!

When I was young, my mum always said "fluffs". Now, my DD and DS call it a "trumpet bum"!

We blame the family cat who died in the 90s, it was more fun when she was still around and took an expression of righteous indignation when we blamed her.

I just remembered one from my lovely Nana. She used to put on a shocked face and say "Who let Polly out of prison!?" Had me and my sis in stitches every time. That one can only be used once the deed is done though.

www.heptune.com/fartword.html

This resource is particularly hilarious but not for those with a weak stomach or the easily offended

I can't say the F word, we say rudery It's my mothers fault.

pips my dh fault he started it with our nearly six yr old and its stuck i used to say i had done a pardon i thought this was the official term untill i was about seven think my mum was trying to be posh funny how in some parts of the country farts are seen as swearing one of my managers originally from nottingham [ correct me if i,m wrong ] when she first moved up north was calling everybody twats because apparently in her part of the country it was akin to calling somebody a twit /berk etc untill somebody pointed out to her that actually in manchester its a highly offensive term!