to not want to be shouted at when I'm driving?

[rubydoobydoo]

I could use some outside opinions as I'm sick of arguing about it.....

DP is a nervous passenger, and dare I say a bit of a backseat driver. Typical behaviour includes:
If I'm waiting to pull out of a junction he'll lean forward and look from side to side to see if it's safe to go (quite distracting for me)
Approaching a crossroads about to turn right, a blue car is coming the other way. He'll say "There's a blue car!" (yes I know, I AM looking out of the windscreen!)

The worst thing is if another car is driving badly or some other hazard is developing, he'll just shout "Watch it watch it!" This makes me REALLY nervous, as not only does it make me jump, it don't know WHAT I'm meant to be watching (when I'm already aware of everything going on around me, in full control of the car, and ready to react to whatever's happening that shouldn't be!) - and I end up looking around desperately for whatever I might have missed and start panicking!

Today in the supermarket car park, we were just leaving - I was driving along doing 10mph at the most . Another car was about to pull out of the petrol station car park in front of me, it was my right of way but he was going a bit fast so I had the brake covered ready to stop if he didn't. DP suddenly shouts "WATCH IT!" - so I panicked, and wouldn't have been ready to brake any more as it completely threw me (but luckily the other car DID stop!)
I said to DP "Please don't shout watch it at me when I'm driving - you need to just let me drive!"

Now DP has taken offense to this. He DOES have reasons for being nervous which I won't go into (not my standard of driving btw!), but he's now saying I'm being controlling and telling him to do stuff, I'm taking everything personally, and I'm trying to change him.

I DON'T want to change him (I love him to bits how he is!), I just don't want him to shout at me when I'm driving as it makes me jump and makes ME nervous! I'm not taking it personally - he was shouting because of the OTHER car. Am I being controlling? I don't think I am!

AIBU? (I don't mind if you tell me I am - I genuinely want to know!)

spacker???!!!

Dearie me.

YANBU don't have him in the car

My dh did this - after being told that he was being a danger to the driver and other road users (and being told to either drive, walk or shut up) he learned his lesson.

What a shame he doesn't realise that this behaviour makes him look like a fool.

Yanbu.

You have passed your driving test recently. That probably makes you a better driver than most others out there who tend to do whatever the fuck they like after years of driving! (I passed a year ago and quickly discovered mini roundabouts are nothing - round here- like the way they teach you!!!!)

Your dp has to let you get on with it. Or tell him to get out and walk!

I once drove my dad somewhere and he was then a terrible backseat driver.

I did stop the car after telling him once to button up. It was about a half mile from home and I told him to get out of the car and I drove away. He has never done this to me again , although I hear he is still like thisa little with other people.

I'm pleased to report that DP took a book to read on the supermarket trip a the weekend - and although I noticed him furtively peering over the top of it at junctions it was only his eyes that went from side to side and not his whole head - so this solution may well work!

I also gave DP's cat a lift to the vets tonight - and she is a MUCH better passenger than him! She meowed conversationally a couple of times, didn't say "watch it" once, and seemed to trust me at roundabouts! In fact, I think she can help me with the weekly shop INSTEAD of DP next week!