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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to bribe ds1 (7) to have his eczema cream on

44 replies

LargeLatte · 31/08/2012 20:31

After severe flare up have left GPs today with instructions for 9 different medications to cover breathing and skin problems.

3 of them are creams.

He hates hates hates having cream put on, and each application (minimum twice per day) is going to take some time.

Do I -
a) Expect him to understand importance of regime and comply since it is his body?
b) Bribe / reward him in some way?

Be gentle but open to suggestions - especially (or maybe exclusively) from people with experience.

OP posts:
orangeandlemons · 31/08/2012 20:35

I don't know, but am watching this eagerly. I am exhausted with the battle with dd to get her cream on, and bribery/rewards don't work. I have hell every morning and evening.

ExitStencilist · 31/08/2012 20:35

Bit of both. Rewards for getting on with it and not fussing, but not bribing to do it. It's a fine line but an important distinction. He has to understand this is for his own good and not something you are doing to him.

Sirzy · 31/08/2012 20:36

Poor thing, I would do a mix of both but see no harm in a bit of bribery - when he realises it all helps make him feel better hopefully he will be more cooperative

PrideOfChanur · 31/08/2012 20:39

I would go for talking about the importance of the regime and why it needs to be done,and lots of praise and some rewards for doing it. At 7 is he not aware that the creams leave him feeling better,even if that isn't instant? Or does it not make that kind of noticable difference?

Springforward · 31/08/2012 20:46

We do a bit of both with DS (4 yo), to be honest. At bedtime the reward is an extra story, in the morning it's squeezing out his own toothpaste!

mummmsy · 31/08/2012 20:48

hmmm at 7? mainly a) but with encouragement and no bribes

RedBlanket · 31/08/2012 20:53

Can you get him to do a little bit himself? DS only has eczema on his legs usually so he does one leg and I do the other.

workshy · 31/08/2012 20:54

8yo now manages her own eczema creams (appart from her back where she can't reach)

had several conversation about it keeping her awake at night and that's not nice is it? and the creams really do help
also (her being a girl n'all) I've played on her vanity a bit talking about her skin having marks on it when she is older

I then was really quite mean and told I wasn't putting the cream on if she was going to create a bit harsh and didn't put the creams on her for a few days and she then put her own on after 4 days

this may sound odd but the other thing I've found recently that helps her eczema is the craze for onesies(sleep suits)
she really agrivates her eczema at night from scratching but when she wears her all in one she can't get to her skin to scratch it, it's really given her skin a rest

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/08/2012 20:55

I thought this was what Chocolate Buttons were for...

Shesparkles · 31/08/2012 20:58

I prefer to look upon it as an incentive rather than bribery!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 31/08/2012 21:00

I left ds to it for a few weeks. I figured a few weeks of discomfort were better than years of battles and tears.
Ds has asd, he has to experience things, it's no use telling him what will happened he doesn't put his cream on.
But lots of kids are like that with or without asd.

Have you checked if the creams are painful? I am sure you are an old hand at this so forgive me if I am asking the obvious.
Some of them are very, very stingy.

We can't use anything but epederm on ds. Poor little bugger. He didn't speak till quite late so couldn't tell us that all the other ones we used hurt him Sad

I think 7 is the age when they start rebelling against their treatment.

workshy · 31/08/2012 21:03

ohMrDV, I'm glad it wasn't just me

I've had a few Hmm faces from people when they find out I let her let her eczema get worse IYKWIM

orangeandlemons · 31/08/2012 21:05

That's what I have had to resort to too!

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 31/08/2012 21:13

Glad it's not just me either :)
Ds has severe atopic eczema so unlikely he will ever grow out of it completely. He has skin like sandpaper (awww).

I just thought that the more I fought the worse it would get, like food battles and potty training iyswim.

So I didn't force him and his skin got bad. He began to complain about it and that gave me the opportunity to remind him what the creams are for.

It's take a while but he has got asd and LDs so I thought it might.

It's a long term plan. I can't be doing his cream when he is 20. He has to understand.

That's the plan anyway :)

Original poster
LargeLatte · 31/08/2012 21:16

Thanks for the responses.

He does understand the logic but because the creams cause immediate discomfort (cold and squishy) rather than immediate relief I think he is fine talking about it in principle and then when it comes to the crunch he is not happy.

Just tried the lastest lot out and went ok except the all over Balneum which he said was stingy (he says that about ever emolient we have ever tried and I'm beginning to wonder if he interprets the sightly cold feeling as the cream dries as stinging).

Anyway happily listening to Dad reading a story now so obviously not that painful.

Actually went about quite matter of factly restating what dr said, who had been brilliant and explained it all to ds rather than just talking to me. Then said, bedtime is at 9.20 (bit on the drag tonight) so the quicker we get this done the longer you have to colour in / write in diary before bed.

And it was done without a fuss.

Need to think about similar approach in morning.

Agree that by now he should be able to do this himself but he absolutely hates touching the cream so it will take quite a bit of work to get to where we need to be.

I think at 7 he has realized that we have been telling him creams make it better for years but he still has the condition and he is fed up with it. Can't blame him really.

OP posts:
Idocrazythings · 31/08/2012 21:17

When my dd was going through the bed wetting clinic they gave her complete ownership of the problem.

They said it was her problem and they (and myself) were going to help her. Every appointment she sat in the chair nearest the nurse and the appointment questions were directed to her. The bell and mat was given durectly to her. I was treated a bit like an accessory. She was 5 1/2 (but quite mature) I think it worked really well (well she was dry within two weeks).

Perhaps you could do something like that and hopefully get the gp on side to centre his appointment around him (if the GP doesn't) he could keep his creams in a special box in his room and maybe have a log book/tick chart calendar for him to record when he cares for his skin (with your supervision/help of course) if his log book is fully completed each week maybe he could get a small bribery treat?

Original poster
LargeLatte · 31/08/2012 21:20

Should also add that the 'leave it until it gets worse' is definitely not an option at the moment as he is in quite a bad way. And he just says when there is no skin (because he has scratched it all away) it doesn't itch anymore so he doesn't need any cream. I can't look at his legs without wanting to cry at the moment. But I do agree with the logic of that approach.

OP posts:
workshy · 31/08/2012 21:21

balneum is hrrible stuff though -my DD says it's stingy too

Idocrazythings · 31/08/2012 21:21

I think I X-posted a little with you OP Smile

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 31/08/2012 21:26

You are right. You can't do the leaving thing when they are in flare. You don't want him to end up infected.

At times we had to pin DS down and it was horrid.

The thicker creams are greasy but seem to be less stingy. I found warming a towel and wrapping him up immediately after creaming helped. Takes away a bit of the horrible cold feeling.

Don't worry about him not doing his creams himself. It's a long process. It has ups and downs too. We have strikes quite often.

Eczema is crap

Original poster
LargeLatte · 31/08/2012 21:38

MrsDV - already infected and on oral ABs :( Love love the idea of a warm towel and he will too - warm towel after bath is his favourite thing so as long as he doesnt try to rub creams off, this should work well.

CrazyThings - yes cross posted but you still gave excellent advice. It was first time GP had done this (because we have changed GP practices as last one was utter crap). I think it did really help and he knows we've booked an appointment to check progress. Really like the chart idea - that will help him see how far we are through the process each morning and afternoon too.

OP posts:
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 31/08/2012 21:48

Have you seen a dermatologist yet?
If not, you really must.
Gps can be lovely but they do not have the expertise to treat eczema. I don't mean that in a nasty way.

We see the specialist nurse. She is up to date with all the latest treatments. She also has lots of samples and freebies, ds loves them :)

Eczema clothing/Cotton comforts do large, funky all in ones. They are thick comfy cotton. You can warm then on the radiator and put them on after creaming - all cosy.

Sirzy · 31/08/2012 21:50

I agree with the warm towel idea.

And as some long term reassurance as a young child I had very severe excema (hospitalised on occasion as so bad) but since I was around 13 I have had only patchy occasional problems rather than anything constant.

foxinsocks · 31/08/2012 21:51

Balneum stings my skin too

What are the creams?

I don't blame him tbh. Sometimes creams hurt me and I won't put them on and I'm far older Grin

foxinsocks · 31/08/2012 21:52

Do you wet wrap?