to be irritated by adverts depicting childbirth as horrific?

[Goofus]

I can't remember what the advert is for but I think it's one of those cutesy 'through the ages' of a couples life, including the birth of their child. It's a new-ish one.
The image of her giving birth shows her face contorted in agony, screaming, clenching her husband's fist and generally looking like a sweaty, petrified mess.

My DDs, aged 8 and 6 have decided, from watching that advert they never want to give birth. My 6yo has gone from wanting 6 children to just wanting a dog when she's older.
Now, I know they are likely to change their mind at some point as most of us do get over the horror of finding out how you give birth.

But why do these adverts/films have to show it as such a scary experience putting the fear in girls from the start?

I don;t think she looks petrified and in agony in the ad. She just looks like she's working hard and pushing to me.

I had one awful, horrendous and very painful birth and the next one wasn't bad at all. Its luck of the draw what kind of birth you have.

YANBU. Whilst I appreciate all births are different I agree that the usual way of depicting birth is with agony.

DD was a back to back hypnobirthed baby and I did say "ouch" when her head came out but that was it

I do feel as others have said that if more relaxed births were shown people might actually believe they are possible!

I was not even vaguely afraid of giving birth. I have a high pain threshold anyway and had read all that shite about the pain being more due to fear than anything else. Actually, for me it was horrific, and terrifying. I have never seen a dramatised version on tv that comes close to how awful it actually was. I think its far more damaging to peddle myths about how everything will be fine as long as you aren't afraid and you stay in control. It might not be, and I wish someone had warned me.

I had two textbook births. [smug]

Still pretty horrific tbh. Particularly remember the copious amounts of vomit and gore and my waters exploding all over the midwife. Was that stuff in the advert?

Totally agree treacle, I wasn;t at all scared of my first birth. Was relaxed, confident etc. I was, mentally, in an excellent position. I also read the mongan method hypnobirthing book (didn;t do the course, though). It turned out to be horrific, extremely painful and tortuous.

Because of the my first birth I was terrified of my second. Second birth was easy, quick, not even nearly as painful as the first, in fact hardly that painful at all, more intense (until my second birth I hated when people said that!)

So, I have had both. Both totally different circumstances, neither of which were even slightly affected by me "relaxing" about it! It was purely luck of the draw.

I think staying calm helps. But it's not magic.

I agree that it's very damaging to pretend that it is. 8 actually think hiking sendin's book is very good when it comes to this, in half the rl stories the women end up having an epidural or a c-section. But they feel okay/ in control as it happens.

Juju sundin

Dyac

Thank you treacle and tara

I get a bit sick of people assuming I am to blame for a very horrendous birth experience because I was 'frightened'. I fucking well wasn't

I was bloody terrified next time around and it was fine.

YABU.

It's a realistic portrayal of what some women experience through no fault of their own.

And no it doesn't mean they had more "fear" or didn't relax enough It's really unhelpful to women who've had an extremely difficult delivery to suggest this. It's the luck of the draw. Some circumstances mean that no amount of relaxation or positivity will be helpful in reducing the pain. Other women negative, fearful or tense yet they have a trouble-free time.

I had a very difficult labour with dd and I opted for an elective c section with ds now 10 weeks.

I wish someone had told me how horrid labour can be as well as the "pop and its out" stories.. I think there needs to be a balance. I think I was shocked by how much it hurt!! And how bloody tiring it is... 3 days of labour isn't a walk in the park!

I have let dd aged 9 watch bits of one born every minute. She finds it all very fascinating. I'm hoping it will put her off boys for life :)

I wish you could LIKE posts! Good posts by toothbrush and slalom

Yabu. I have had four extremely easy, fast, straightforward births and it is fair to say that giving birth hurts like bloody fuck and yes you look like a sweaty wreck whilst you are going through it.

I don't think anyone suggested fear was to blame for a bad labour?? I certainly didn't! I don't think for a second my first labour would have been pain free or had a different outcome by being calm, but the fretful run up and tearful demands to be kept in before I was in established labour wouldn't have been there had I not been panicked by horror stories of b2b labour and stuck big babies which are prolific among women.

I just think its unhelpful to tell women that labour is horrific when it only could be, it could all be fine. A balanced view that it may be painful or it may not and to treat things as they come would be better, with reccomendations on remaining calm and letting your body get on with it and your mws/drs do their job (well hopefully) rather than go in thinking that either they will absolutely beg for an epidural as they will never be able to cope or at the other end of the scale they will pop baby our without smudging their mascara iyswim.

I went to the toilet and my baby popped out. Took me by surprise, I'll tell you that! I knew I was in labour but apparently only in the first stages. Thought I was going to do a poo.

They should put that in an advert :)

Just as some people break legs and walk around for hours before they notice some people give birth without screaming their tits off. You don't know which you will be until it happens so no point in scarring the shit out every potential mother before she's even started ovulating I m o.
I must admit I thought I probably ought to howl every now and then not because I was in pain but to join in and feel I was giving birth properly.
All first time mothers should know its actually not that bad in my experience and that might be yours too.

my first birth was horrific and when I got to pushing and needed intervention I screamed a lot. I guess that's what happens when someone cuts your downstairs with scissors without pain relief or rams in a vontouse again with out a spinal etc. it really hurt & the fact that no one explained what they were doing. It felt like I was having an operation 100 years ago before anesthetics existed, barbaric totally.
god knows how I am on my third lol.

Anyone who thinks that hiding the truth is good needs a reality check. It leads to people feeling like they have been lied to if things go badly wrong and undermines trust in society or Health Care Providers. They should be able to make decisions based on a true picture of the possibilities and risks.

So what people need is BALANCE. That means portrayls of good and bad births. Because that is real and honest.

So yeah YABU to want things sanitised and biased.

I have heard it stings a bit.

Last birth I stayed in as had light pains spend the day mostly on mumsnet Then it started to hurt more but I thought dont want to look weak and pathetic no way can baby be coming yet so just sat in silence in car and said dont worry it will be ages.Ten minutes after arrival of hospital I was holding baby!

It fecking hurts.

It doesn't have to take place with the woman in bed surrounded by doctors looking like she's ill.

It's the fact that they never show anything other than the typical hospital scenario which annoys me more.

I really get annoyed by the stupid statement which gets bandied about 'a woman's body is beautifully designed for childbirth'.

No it bloody isn't. It is a series of compromises. Childbirth for the vast majority of women is bloody difficult due to various evolutionary reasons.

I still remember feeling annoyed at my (childless) midwife years ago who trilled that birth needn't be painful due to 'nature's wonderful design'. I don't know whether she was religious, brainwashed or just a bit thick.

As it was I didn't find birth particularly bad, just bloody hard work. But it was over 16 years ago so perhaps I have a touch of the rose tinted spectacles.

Those daft 'rites of passage' adverts drive me mad though. I blame bloody John Lewis.

tiggyd it smarts haha