to be irritated by adverts depicting childbirth as horrific?

[Goofus]

I can't remember what the advert is for but I think it's one of those cutesy 'through the ages' of a couples life, including the birth of their child. It's a new-ish one.
The image of her giving birth shows her face contorted in agony, screaming, clenching her husband's fist and generally looking like a sweaty, petrified mess.

My DDs, aged 8 and 6 have decided, from watching that advert they never want to give birth. My 6yo has gone from wanting 6 children to just wanting a dog when she's older.
Now, I know they are likely to change their mind at some point as most of us do get over the horror of finding out how you give birth.

But why do these adverts/films have to show it as such a scary experience putting the fear in girls from the start?

YANBU. But only because adverts like that give me flashbacks.

It wasn't horrifying but it bloody hurts.

My first birth was horrific. I still have nightmares 5 years on. 4 days of pain, blood sweat and tears, broken pelvis, and kidneys shutting down...

Second was fab, barely a squeek from me, happy mommy... no doubt looked like a bag of shite after a day in labour though

Third - i thought i was going to die. Everything happend too quick, i turned into a raving lunatic for the 45minute long labour/delivery. never experienced pain like it, absolute agony that shook my entire being.

Quite frankly, the ad - she looks like she got off lightly

If it's the one you're on about, advertising "Cussons" Mum & Me Range, I couldn't disagree more.

Everything I've previously seen is pretty much "a bit of pain in childbirth but HEY LOOK YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING NORMALLY AFTER ONLY ONE DAY! A BABY CHANGES NOTHING!"

With the Cussons Mum & Me one, it shows the woman in labour, then wincing as she sits down, then looking confused at a weird-ass breast pump, then wrinkling her nose at a stinky nappy, then apologising to everyone in a café for having a noisy baby, then it's her in her bedroom glaring at her stomach folds with a "god, I was skinny once" look in her eyes.

Forgive me if I'm not a normal mum, but I went through all of that! I thought it actually took the time to say "look, this is going to go wrong. It's a big change, it's going to make you self-conscious and confused, and it has a very steep learning curve, but you'll manage it because you've got a wonderful little boy or girl to nurture".

I loved giving birth. Absolutely loved it! It was uncomfortable and painful but the gas and air was AMAZING and I was fortunate enough to have relatively quick births.

First time I was terrified and opted for an epidural. 2nd time I was too late and it was an amazing experience. 3rd time even better. High on adrenaline too and you have a kind of massive poo satisfaction...all be it out the wrong exit.

So YANBU. We all know it's hardly a relaxing massage but it really is the most amazing thing a woman will ever do.

I've not seen the advert, but I can guarantee that I looked like a sweaty mess, only tired rather than petrified. So tired that I actually fell asleep after they administered the epidural, to be woken 30 mins later by actually, you know, giving birth

I am sure I did a fair amount of grimacing too. No biggie. It hurts, but doesn't last forever.

That advert shows her in labour for all of one second. Just long enough for an anguished moan - I wouldn't even call it a scream. The breast pump moment is much more scary .

It's an advert for stretch mark cream and baby oil, not whale music and birthing pools.

I was given the whole 'it's a lovely experience' by a virginal spinster midwife (apologies to the virgins, spinsters and midwives I have offended here......but she was). Cynthia (yes really) reckoned her parentcraft class could just smile through.... whilst breathing deeply and serenely

So I had no fear and naively thought I'd cope. It was the worst experience of my life and I had counselling to get over it. I wish so much that someone had warned me.

I don't think she looks petrified. I was petrified with DD an eye rolling trying to crawl off the bed and away from my uterus mess.

I was much calmer for second baby, but it's still physically hard work nerve wracking and difficult... what's odd about being sweaty and clutching someone's hand in this circumstances?

(i also delivered both my babies on my back which people are very anti, but I'm an individual that needs to be able to see the whole room to feel safe. I think that's natural too.)

I think ive had enough warning from mumsnet. I never want to give birth now. Couldnt go through that. Wonder if i can pay someone to have a baby for me ?

Dont know whether its good or bad to portray it the way it is. I suppose its better to be honest rather than giving false impressions to young girls though.

I don't think the ad is scary..is it?

Birth is fine it's the 18 years after that are the difficult bit

I guess I was lucky, all births are different same as babies. I do think scaring women makes them more likely to have more pain though so YANBU

www.dailymotion.com/video/xcgun9_cynthia-witthoft-music-for-women-an_tech

Because it is sometimes? Sometimes not. That video shows different types of labour, the second one is amazing. Also a good example of hands off and hands on delivery

Frankly, her birth looks like a walk in the park in comparison to the car crash birth that was ds. I'd swap her birth for mine any day of the week. I had to sit on a blown up swimming ring for 6 weeks afterwards and shove those ice packs in my knickers. They didn't have her doing any of that did they.

Other mammals do make a fuss, scream, bite, kick and scratch when giving birth if you don't think they do you haven't seen enough born. I have been bitten, scratch, kicked, thrown accross the room and head butted delivering baby animals and have the scars to prove it.
The last cow most definitely made a huge fuss and laid on her side kicking inspite of the epidural and the beautiful heifer was delivered without any damage to the cow.
The mystery to me is why do midwives and obs never use any kind of lubrication it does make the job easier and as a profession vets believe you can never have too much lun at a delivery.

In spite of all my knowledge and no fear at all I had such an awful delivery that two years later my midwife commented that if she had been through what I had been she wouldn't have another baby.

I'd rather they depicted a more real birth like the one described in the op, as opposed to the Tv births you saw on Tv when I was younger - things like a woman on Neighbiurs able to give birth in a field, no noise or proboems and not even removing her dungarees!

That's a great advert! I really like it, what a beautiful baby too!

It's just like that lol

If the ad is the Cussons one linked to - there is just a very quick shot of the birth - looks very normal to me painful but not horrific

I love the bit where she winces as she sits down after the birth, I could relate more to that than any other bit of the advert! I rewound it to show dp who looked at me like

I like the breast pump bit, so true!

It isn't always horrific! Tensing up and losing control through fear can make a bad labour a thousand times worse!

DD1 I was scared, three day labour, back to back fucking awful awful awful.

DD2 (12 wks) a friend suggested hypnobirthing, I (skeptically) read the books, let go the fear and practised, I went into hospital with "tightenings" 5 minutes apart but they didn't hurt, mw turned me away so I went home and to bed. 2 hours later I delivered dd's head on the pavement outside the unit after walking from the pay and display as I didn't want DH to get a ticket in the drop off zone . It honestly truly didn't hurt, I was shocked, but not as shocked as the mws!

Hypnobirthing and letting go of fear can help avoid a lot of the pain which we expect and when things do go wrong (as is inevitable in some labours) it helps you cope and recover after so hopefully a lot less (not all) would be horrific and that would become the exception not the expectation.